Quotes of the day .... - Page 16

Pudding · 30 May 2009, 09:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by MeatGrl1

Not really funny just bloody annoying... I had a bit of a sneezing fit at work and this customer asks.... "It's not swine flu is it?"

You should have asked her "Do I look like a pig?" to which you'd hope she'd give the correct answer

*AndyK* · 05 Aug 2009, 21:21

Said to me very recently ...

Quote:

You know we could rule the word, OHHHHHH!! I've got onion in my flip flop

Hmm, think I'll go for that world domination on my own thanks.

*AndyK* · 03 Sep 2009, 11:26

Recent quotes ...

Quote:

Someone: The curtain pole in the bedroom has fallen down
Me: Which one? (there are two)
Someone: The one by the window.

At a project presentation this morning ...

Quote:

The Go-Live date is the data when nothing happens

daveake · 09 Sep 2009, 12:30

Overheard by someone in Waitrose, where 3 girls were shoplifting very very blatantly. When caught by one of the staff, they reacted violently, hysterically shouting "Don't touch me" and "I won't be f~cking coming here again".

Betty · 09 Sep 2009, 16:34

Me to a colleague: "Do you know from which country that is?"
Said colleague: "London!"

ummm... ok...

daveake · 09 Sep 2009, 16:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by Betty

Me to a colleague: "Do you know from which country that is?"
Said colleague: "London!"

ummm... ok...

Reminds me of a similar conversation about France. Dumb-blond-secretary says "France? That's in Paris, innit?"

duke knooby · 16 Sep 2009, 17:36

songs by Duke Special

**allrevvedup** · 16 Sep 2009, 17:44

One quote that's been repeated to me recently is "Falling is easy it's getting back up that becomes the problem"

Which is especially true when it concerns falling off a cliff

~Helen~ · 17 Sep 2009, 20:55

I was talking to a customer today who appeared to be slightly hard of hearing. The Government says we have to ask our customers who telephone us, for some equalities data - 'so we know who our customers are'. Anyway, I had gotten successfully through age, and nationality, and on to...

"Do you consider yourself to have a disability?"

"Married", the man replied.

Hypnobabe · 17 Sep 2009, 22:30

Me: So Archie, what do you think of my new car?
Archie (6): It's the same as the old one. Except it's a different colour. And the inside is different. And it's smaller.

mszee · 27 Sep 2009, 19:57

From Mr. Andy King:

Real life is for people who can't handle internet...

I personally thought this was a classic...lol

**allrevvedup** · 28 Sep 2009, 12:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Helen~

I was talking to a customer today who appeared to be slightly hard of hearing. The Government says we have to ask our customers who telephone us, for some equalities data - 'so we know who our customers are'. Anyway, I had gotten successfully through age, and nationality, and on to...

"Do you consider yourself to have a disability?"

"Married", the man replied.

Nice!

Sue K · 17 Jan 2010, 02:59

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. ~ Theodore Roosevelt ...

mszee · 08 Feb 2010, 01:45

'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.
If you give her sperm, she'll create a life.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.

So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.'

**allrevvedup** · 08 Feb 2010, 13:29

"It is an ironic habit of human beings to run faster when we have lost our way."

- Rollo May

Sue K · 12 Feb 2010, 12:22

I never trust a man unless I've got his pecker in my pocket ~ Lyndon B Johnson ...

**allrevvedup** · 12 Feb 2010, 12:26

"All i ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy"

Spike Milligan

Sue K · 12 Feb 2010, 12:32

Money doesn't always bring happiness. People with ten million dollars are no happier than people with nine million dollars. ~ Hobart Brown ...

mszee · 12 Mar 2010, 04:24

Saw this on facebook and thought it's pretty good:

Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

**The Flying Mouse** · 03 Apr 2010, 15:22

Goons are not a very reliable source of information.

Sue K · 03 Apr 2010, 15:54

... A racially integrated community is a chronological term timed from the entrance of the first black family to the exit of the last white family ... Saul Alinsky ...

lol ... i like that much ... lol ... and i'm happy to report i DO live in a racially integrated community ... imo ... beCAUSE... we haven't moved ... lol ...WE'S KEEPIN' IT REEEEAL !!! ... rolling ...

snider22 · 03 Apr 2010, 16:01

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

Sue K · 03 Apr 2010, 16:11

In music one must think with the heart and feel with the brain. ~ George Szell

melon · 03 Apr 2010, 18:06

Have courage when you're under fire - Kevin Sheedy

Sue K · 04 Apr 2010, 00:18

If God wanted us to be brave, why did he give us legs ? ... Marvin Kitman ...

lol ... that's funny ... lol ...

09 Sep 2009, 12:30	#379
daveake 200% is the new 110% Join Date: 13.03.2005 Location: Newbury Posts: 2,983	Overheard by someone in Waitrose, where 3 girls were shoplifting very very blatantly. When caught by one of the staff, they reacted violently, hysterically shouting "Don't touch me" and "I won't be f~cking coming here again".

09 Sep 2009, 16:34	#380
Betty ˙·٠•● ♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♪ ●•٠·˙ Join Date: 12.11.2006 Location: Niedersachsen Posts: 6,387	Me to a colleague: "Do you know from which country that is?" Said colleague: "London!" ummm... ok...

16 Sep 2009, 17:36	#382
duke knooby Mega Loafer Join Date: 24.06.2005 Location: belfast Posts: 17,909	songs by Duke Special

16 Sep 2009, 17:44	#383
allrevvedup "Most things that i worry about, never happen anyway" Join Date: 29.11.2003 Location: Liverpool Posts: 5,360	One quote that's been repeated to me recently is "Falling is easy it's getting back up that becomes the problem" Which is especially true when it concerns falling off a cliff

17 Sep 2009, 20:55	#384
~Helen~ Mega Loafer Join Date: 01.11.2007 Location: Manchester Posts: 1,958	I was talking to a customer today who appeared to be slightly hard of hearing. The Government says we have to ask our customers who telephone us, for some equalities data - 'so we know who our customers are'. Anyway, I had gotten successfully through age, and nationality, and on to... "Do you consider yourself to have a disability?" "Married", the man replied.

17 Sep 2009, 22:30	#385
Hypnobabe mszee's Mistress with sexy goddess boots Join Date: 13.07.2005 Location: Hitting the highway like a battering ram... Posts: 7,686	Me: So Archie, what do you think of my new car? Archie (6): It's the same as the old one. Except it's a different colour. And the inside is different. And it's smaller.

27 Sep 2009, 19:57	#386
mszee Mega Loafer Join Date: 28.03.2006 Location: And you think you're down under??? Posts: 26,252	From Mr. Andy King: Real life is for people who can't handle internet... I personally thought this was a classic...lol

17 Jan 2010, 02:59	#388
Sue K Mega Loafer Join Date: 20.04.2003 Posts: 13,041	Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. ~ Theodore Roosevelt ...

08 Feb 2010, 01:45	#389
mszee Mega Loafer Join Date: 28.03.2006 Location: And you think you're down under??? Posts: 26,252	'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll create a life. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.'

08 Feb 2010, 13:29	#390
allrevvedup "Most things that i worry about, never happen anyway" Join Date: 29.11.2003 Location: Liverpool Posts: 5,360	"It is an ironic habit of human beings to run faster when we have lost our way." - Rollo May

12 Feb 2010, 12:22	#391
Sue K Mega Loafer Join Date: 20.04.2003 Posts: 13,041	I never trust a man unless I've got his pecker in my pocket ~ Lyndon B Johnson ...

12 Feb 2010, 12:26	#392
allrevvedup "Most things that i worry about, never happen anyway" Join Date: 29.11.2003 Location: Liverpool Posts: 5,360	"All i ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy" Spike Milligan

12 Feb 2010, 12:32	#393
Sue K Mega Loafer Join Date: 20.04.2003 Posts: 13,041	Money doesn't always bring happiness. People with ten million dollars are no happier than people with nine million dollars. ~ Hobart Brown ...

12 Mar 2010, 04:24	#394
mszee Mega Loafer Join Date: 28.03.2006 Location: And you think you're down under??? Posts: 26,252	Saw this on facebook and thought it's pretty good: Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

03 Apr 2010, 15:22	#395
The Flying Mouse Armed ba$tard and Jo's other half. Join Date: 06.08.2002 Location: In the middle of nowhere near the end of the line. Posts: 16,104	Goons are not a very reliable source of information.

03 Apr 2010, 15:54	#396
Sue K Mega Loafer Join Date: 20.04.2003 Posts: 13,041	... A racially integrated community is a chronological term timed from the entrance of the first black family to the exit of the last white family ... Saul Alinsky ... lol ... i like that much ... lol ... and i'm happy to report i DO live in a racially integrated community ... imo ... beCAUSE... we haven't moved ... lol ...WE'S KEEPIN' IT REEEEAL !!! ... rolling ...

03 Apr 2010, 16:01	#397
snider22 Guest Join Date: 23.11.2008 Location: Posts: 525	The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

03 Apr 2010, 16:11	#398
Sue K Mega Loafer Join Date: 20.04.2003 Posts: 13,041	In music one must think with the heart and feel with the brain. ~ George Szell

03 Apr 2010, 18:06	#399
melon Long Distance Loafer Join Date: 17.07.2007 Location: Perth, Australia Posts: 4,586	Have courage when you're under fire - Kevin Sheedy

04 Apr 2010, 00:18	#400
Sue K Mega Loafer Join Date: 20.04.2003 Posts: 13,041	If God wanted us to be brave, why did he give us legs ? ... Marvin Kitman ... lol ... that's funny ... lol ...