Quotes of the day ....

*AndyK* · 22 Apr 2007, 12:54

What profoundly stupid or hilarious things have you heard people say today?

"See, I was right apart from everything"

being one the best I've heard so far today

**The Flying Mouse** · 22 Apr 2007, 19:13

"I can't hit a 20 today with a wet hankie"

Said by Dinky, one of our pub regulars, while I was having a game of darts with him.

**RadioMaster** · 22 Apr 2007, 20:28

in a pub this afternoon, the next table:

"How's your little one doing? How old is he now? 5, 6?"
"He just turned 30"

MeatGrl1 · 23 Apr 2007, 03:19

"This is one hell of a scenic view!"

Jack - Black Top

LMFAO

Pudding · 23 Apr 2007, 08:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by MeatGrl1

"This is one hell of a scenic view!"

Jack - Black Top

LMFAO

I think the thread was meant to mean quotes from 'real' people and not ones off the telly, otherwise we'll end up with a movie quotes thread

"talk to me goose"

Some woman - "How old is your baby?"
Me - "Two and a half months"
Some woman - "Is that 10 weeks?"

Pud

mszee · 23 Apr 2007, 17:13

Me: So Steve isn't here today - does it mean he bought that house?

My boss: I hope so...he is moving in today...

**RadioMaster** · 23 Apr 2007, 18:12

not really a quote, but someone told me today they've been to the animal shelter, and there was a black sex-doll sitting next to one cage fully clothed. Person from the shelter shall have said they found it the other night and clothed it to make it attract less attention from the visitors....

R. · 23 Apr 2007, 23:48

I read this somewhere else ...

Quote:

Chris is playing with his marbles...and that's why you took the site down???

mszee · 23 Apr 2007, 23:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by R.

I read this somewhere else ...

This is unbelievable...I reckon this is the first time I was quoted...and by the big boss himself!!!!WOW!!!

*AndyK* · 24 Apr 2007, 15:02

From this morning's marathon service review meeting ..

We're actively doing nothing about that issue.

**Monstro** · 24 Apr 2007, 15:23

Wasn't today but was on a benefit form a client filled in........

"I know I'm suicidal as I've killed myself fourteen times"

Pudding · 25 Apr 2007, 11:42

At a BBQ at some friends today.

My mate "so what's that shitty smell?"
Me "it's shit mate, you've just stood in some"

Pud

mszee · 25 Apr 2007, 16:02

From big unnamed American Corporation:

One Group: We need this system built as soon as possible

Second Group: We need requirements to know what is it that you want us to build.

One Group: We can't give it to you - it's proprietory information...

This has been going on for over 4 years now...the system isn't built yet...

Chris · 07 May 2007, 19:31

Me: Do you offer a fax service?
ShopKeeper: Yes
Me: How much is it please?
SK: 10p per page
Me: OK, can I send 5 pages please?
SK: No, the lad who works where who knows how to work the machine doesn't work Mondays.

Hypnobabe · 07 May 2007, 19:53

My four year old son, Charlie: "What's the time mummy?"

Me: "it's dinner time"

Charlie: "No it isn't, dinner's not a number"

**RadioMaster** · 07 May 2007, 19:54

at the hospital:

doc: has there ever been cases of diabetes in your family?
my father: no, except for my mother in her last years
doc: Is your mother part of your family?

Hypnobabe · 07 May 2007, 19:58

Not recently, but...

My mate Angie to her then three year old niece Emily: "Look Emily, there's a bird!"

Emily: "Actually, it's a jackdaw... but it's LIKE a bird..."

Talk about being put firmly in your place...

LucyK! · 07 May 2007, 20:05

Ohh I was talking about Jackdaws on Friday - are they not birds??!?! I'm concerned that a three year old knows the answer to this!

LucyK! · 07 May 2007, 20:26

I thought they were birds! I know I have my moments but I knew I couldn't be that wrong

I've been reliably informed that they like shiney things, so why I didn't know that I don't know, they're one of my kind!

samurai7 · 08 May 2007, 02:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucy!

Ohh I was talking about Jackdaws on Friday - are they not birds??!?! I'm concerned that a three year old knows the answer to this!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucy!

I thought they were birds! I know I have my moments but I knew I couldn't be that wrong

I've been reliably informed that they like shiney things, so why I didn't know that I don't know, they're one of my kind!

Are you sure you're not bonde?

*AndyK* · 08 May 2007, 11:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by Son Of Meat Loaf

Are you sure you're not blonde?

She's a malteser ...

**Monstro** · 08 May 2007, 12:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by AndyK

She's a malteser ...

PMSL, love that expression (and so true)!!!!

mszee · 08 May 2007, 14:57

What is a malteser?

*AndyK* · 08 May 2007, 15:03

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maltesers

mszee · 08 May 2007, 15:04

Gotcha...make me one too...

Is it something like our Milk Duds?

22 Apr 2007, 12:54	#1
AndyK Relentless Join Date: 21.11.2003 Location: Over the top..... seeing what's on the other side Posts: 18,694	Quotes of the day .... What profoundly stupid or hilarious things have you heard people say today? "See, I was right apart from everything" being one the best I've heard so far today

22 Apr 2007, 19:13	#2
The Flying Mouse Armed ba$tard and Jo's other half. Join Date: 06.08.2002 Location: In the middle of nowhere near the end of the line. Posts: 16,104	"I can't hit a 20 today with a wet hankie" Said by Dinky, one of our pub regulars, while I was having a game of darts with him.

22 Apr 2007, 20:28	#3
RadioMaster The German Join Date: 11.03.2006 Location: some kind of hunting lodge for rich weirdos... Posts: 15,778	in a pub this afternoon, the next table: "How's your little one doing? How old is he now? 5, 6?" "He just turned 30"

23 Apr 2007, 03:19	#4
MeatGrl1 No Day But Today Join Date: 29.05.2006 Location: Sitting on the steps outside looking so restless and reckless and lost! Posts: 9,089	*"This is one hell of a scenic view!"* Jack - Black Top LMFAO

23 Apr 2007, 17:13	#6
mszee Mega Loafer Join Date: 29.03.2006 Location: And you think you're down under??? Posts: 26,252	Me: So Steve isn't here today - does it mean he bought that house? My boss: I hope so...he is moving in today...

23 Apr 2007, 18:12	#7
RadioMaster The German Join Date: 11.03.2006 Location: some kind of hunting lodge for rich weirdos... Posts: 15,778	not really a quote, but someone told me today they've been to the animal shelter, and there was a black sex-doll sitting next to one cage fully clothed. Person from the shelter shall have said they found it the other night and clothed it to make it attract less attention from the visitors....

24 Apr 2007, 15:02	#10
AndyK Relentless Join Date: 21.11.2003 Location: Over the top..... seeing what's on the other side Posts: 18,694	From this morning's marathon service review meeting .. We're actively doing nothing about that issue.

24 Apr 2007, 15:23	#11
Monstro Promoted to Wario's spellchecker Join Date: 17.09.2005 Location: London Posts: 12,947	Wasn't today but was on a benefit form a client filled in........ "I know I'm suicidal as I've killed myself fourteen times"

25 Apr 2007, 11:42	#12
Pudding I'm A Prize Fight Lover... Join Date: 22.10.2003 Location: New Zealand Posts: 5,532	At a BBQ at some friends today. My mate "so what's that shitty smell?" Me "it's shit mate, you've just stood in some" Pud

25 Apr 2007, 16:02	#13
mszee Mega Loafer Join Date: 29.03.2006 Location: And you think you're down under??? Posts: 26,252	From big unnamed American Corporation: One Group: We need this system built as soon as possible Second Group: We need requirements to know what is it that you want us to build. One Group: We can't give it to you - it's proprietory information... This has been going on for over 4 years now...the system isn't built yet...

07 May 2007, 19:31	#14
Chris Mega Loafer Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Somewhere in the real world. Posts: 7,527	Me: Do you offer a fax service? ShopKeeper: Yes Me: How much is it please? SK: 10p per page Me: OK, can I send 5 pages please? SK: No, the lad who works where who knows how to work the machine doesn't work Mondays.

07 May 2007, 19:53	#15
Hypnobabe mszee's Mistress with sexy goddess boots Join Date: 13.07.2005 Location: Hitting the highway like a battering ram... Posts: 7,686	My four year old son, Charlie: "What's the time mummy?" Me: "it's dinner time" Charlie: "No it isn't, dinner's not a number"

07 May 2007, 19:54	#16
RadioMaster The German Join Date: 11.03.2006 Location: some kind of hunting lodge for rich weirdos... Posts: 15,778	at the hospital: doc: has there ever been cases of diabetes in your family? my father: no, except for my mother in her last years doc: Is your mother part of your family?

07 May 2007, 19:58	#17
Hypnobabe mszee's Mistress with sexy goddess boots Join Date: 13.07.2005 Location: Hitting the highway like a battering ram... Posts: 7,686	Not recently, but... My mate Angie to her then three year old niece Emily: "Look Emily, there's a bird!" Emily: "Actually, it's a jackdaw... but it's LIKE a bird..." Talk about being put firmly in your place...

07 May 2007, 20:05	#18
LucyK! The Monster Is Luce Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Posts: 7,547	Ohh I was talking about Jackdaws on Friday - are they not birds??!?! I'm concerned that a three year old knows the answer to this!

07 May 2007, 20:26	#19
LucyK! The Monster Is Luce Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Posts: 7,547	I thought they were birds! I know I have my moments but I knew I couldn't be that wrong I've been reliably informed that they like shiney things, so why I didn't know that I don't know, they're one of my kind!

08 May 2007, 14:57	#23
mszee Mega Loafer Join Date: 29.03.2006 Location: And you think you're down under??? Posts: 26,252	What is a malteser?

08 May 2007, 15:03	#24
AndyK Relentless Join Date: 21.11.2003 Location: Over the top..... seeing what's on the other side Posts: 18,694	http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maltesers

08 May 2007, 15:04	#25
mszee Mega Loafer Join Date: 29.03.2006 Location: And you think you're down under??? Posts: 26,252	Gotcha...make me one too... Is it something like our Milk Duds?