off topic condom talk.

mszee · 03 Feb 2007, 17:27

Quote:

Originally Posted by THE FLYING MOUSE

I still maintain that it's a great chat up line to slide up to a young lady at the bar, pull out the condom, and say "this thing is 14 years old.Don't you think it's time it saw some action?

"

Then slap yourself silly and f*ck off to spare some young lady trouble...

**The Flying Mouse** · 03 Feb 2007, 17:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by mszee

Then slap yourself silly and f*ck off to spare some young lady trouble...

So you're saying instead of going out with a condom, I should stay at home "slapping myself silly"?

I've never heard it called THAT before

mszee · 03 Feb 2007, 17:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by THE FLYING MOUSE

So you're saying instead of going out with a condom, I should stay at home "slapping myself silly"?

I've never heard it called THAT before

Well, it's also called "safe sex"...but hey...you can look at that condom while slapping yourself...that is called..."the safest sex EVER"...

**The Flying Mouse** · 03 Feb 2007, 17:41

I thought you had to be in a bank to have safe sex

Which means that bankers have the safest sex of all

mszee · 03 Feb 2007, 17:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by THE FLYING MOUSE

I thought you had to be in a bank to hafe safe sex

Which means that bankers have the safest sex of all

My dear...I am very much afraid that this is not an option for you...

Think of something more accessible for you...like let's see...PUB???

**The Flying Mouse** · 03 Feb 2007, 17:57

If those cellar walls could talk.......

mszee · 03 Feb 2007, 18:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by THE FLYING MOUSE

If those cellar walls could talk.......

I've lived a thousand years in darkness
Banished all alone
Inside my mind with just my madness
Behind these walls of stone

Yeah, hun...the song was based on your life I am afraid...

**The Flying Mouse** · 03 Feb 2007, 18:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by mszee

I've lived a thousand years in darkness
Banished all alone
Inside my mind with just my madness
Behind these walls of stone

Yeah, hun...the song was based on your life I am afraid...

Think you misheard.

It's based on my WIFE

mszee · 03 Feb 2007, 18:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by THE FLYING MOUSE

Think you misheard.

It's based on my WIFE

She into S&M, dear???

POOR...

**The Flying Mouse** · 03 Feb 2007, 18:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by mszee

She into S&M, dear???

POOR...

Well what you think the lyrics are about?

I've lived a thousand years in darkness = Her blindfold fetish.

Banished all alone = When I lock her in the kitchen to make me breakfast.

Inside my mind with just my madness = She's mad about me

(or is that mad AT me?

)

Behind these walls of stone = T'was a misprint.Original lyric = Up against a wall of stone.
No comment on that one

**RadioMaster** · 03 Feb 2007, 18:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by THE FLYING MOUSE

So you're saying instead of going out with a condom, I should stay at home "slapping myself silly"?

I've never heard it called THAT before

Wait a minte, are we talking about slapping or "slapping"?

Quote:

Originally Posted by THE FLYING MOUSE

I thought you had to be in a bank to have safe sex

Which means that bankers have the safest sex of all

I very much doubt that people like,...bankers, have sex at all

**The Flying Mouse** · 03 Feb 2007, 18:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by RadioMaster

Wait a minte, are we talking about slapping or "slapping"?

I have no idea

Quote:

Originally Posted by RadioMaster

I very much doubt that people like,...bankers, have sex at all

You finally found the career option for you huh?

I really should be trying to clean this up

I'm showing such a bad example here

But nothing new there

mszee · 03 Feb 2007, 18:30

Think you got something VERY wrong here...

I've lived a thousand years in darkness - she can't stand your looks apparently and, therefore, you need to wear paper bag constantly...

Banished all alone - when you come home drunk you have to sleep on the porch...

Inside my mind with just my madness - your obsession with HER...can't think of NOTHING and NOBODY BUT her...

Behind these walls of stone - yeah...that bathroom needs re-painting, honey...how about it???

**The Flying Mouse** · 03 Feb 2007, 18:33

Ok, OK, the truth of the matter

I've lived a thousand years in darkness - She's getting on a bit, and insists on having the light OFF.

Banished all alone - She's alone cause i'm always sent to the dog house.

Inside my mind with just my madness - She's a bit

Behind these walls of stone - She's in happy achres asylum as we speak

mszee · 03 Feb 2007, 18:40

I've lived a thousand years in darkness - She's gonna kill you at the first opportunity...hope you know it, dear...you're SO DEAD...

Banished all alone - Being on her own is the BEST company considering the alternative

Inside my mind with just my madness - But not as much

as her spouse

Behind these walls of stone - She's in happy achres asylum as we speak

- and this is where they have met...she was a nurse...and you,

apparently were high security patient...

Oh...forgot to ask...should I bring you some arsenic when I visit next?

Do they feed you well there???

I think they might be neglecting some food groups in your diet...let me help...

**The Flying Mouse** · 03 Feb 2007, 18:46

I've lived a thousand years in darkness - No real repost huh?

Banished all alone - Hunni, with those multipal personalities, you are NEVER alone

Inside my mind with just my madness - Funny how the

can think the sane are ga ga.
Makes sence actually

Behind these walls of stone - No, you THOUGHT you were a nurse.
That's why you were there.
Really authentic though folks, she even had the Ann Summers uniform

Hey, if you wanna give me some food, a curry would be nice right about now

mszee · 03 Feb 2007, 18:56

I've lived a thousand years in darkness - No real repost huh?

-

The truth is hard to swallow when you're choking on your pride...

Banished all alone - Hunni, with those multipal personalities, you are NEVER alone

-

I know, love...those multiple personalities of yours haunt me even when I throw you out on your ass outside...at least one of you always stays behind somehow...

Inside my mind with just my madness - Funny how the

can think the sane are ga ga.
Makes sence actually

I know, love, I know...I will do everything possible to find you another doctor...this one doesn't seem to be able to help anymore...

Behind these walls of stone - No, you THOUGHT you were a nurse.
That's why you were there.
Really authentic though folks, she even had the Ann Summers uniform

Hun...it's time for your enema...turn around, baby...

Quote:

Hey, if you wanna give me some food, a curry would be nice right about now

Meet me in the pub...I already left you there all the curry spiced with...let's not go there...that you can handle...or not...

**The Flying Mouse** · 03 Feb 2007, 18:59

She's rambling again

.

Time for your medication dear

Think i'll go score some food now

mszee · 03 Feb 2007, 19:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by THE FLYING MOUSE

She's rambling again

.

Time for your medication dear

Think i'll go score some food now

Ahhh...retreat is a beautiful thing...when the battle is lost...there nothing left but to retreat...I do understand...I seriously DO understand...

*Pats Flying Mouse on the head*...

Don't cry, Flying Mouse...next time, honey...I will LET you win...

So sorry you had to give up so soon...

**The Flying Mouse** · 03 Feb 2007, 19:33

Well I had to go and eat before I get ready to come to the asylum to see you dear.

I'll be there soon

mszee · 03 Feb 2007, 19:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by THE FLYING MOUSE

Well I had to go and eat before I get ready to come to the asylum to see you dear.

I'll be there soon

Can't wait, hun...

And oh yes...since this thread is called off-topic condom talk...you can leave yours at home...

I am sure you will have no need for it for a long long time now...

**The Flying Mouse** · 03 Feb 2007, 19:42

Don't know, that redhead nurse was giving me the eye the other night

mszee · 03 Feb 2007, 19:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by THE FLYING MOUSE

Don't know, that redhead nurse was giving me the eye the other night

Hun...you forgot your medication again...

The "redhead nurse" you were drooling over the other night was nothing but a prize cow from the farm nearby...

So sorry, hun...you know I do wish you only well, right???

**The Flying Mouse** · 03 Feb 2007, 19:46

No, the thing that was "me talking to a cow" has actually a hat stand standing next to a sideboard

You'd taken a little too much medication dear

mszee · 03 Feb 2007, 19:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by THE FLYING MOUSE

No, the thing that was "me talking to a cow" has actually a hat stand standing next to a sideboard

You'd taken a little too much medication dear

My dear dear love...

WE DON'T HAVE HAT STAND STANDING NEXT TO THE SIDEBOARD!!!

Poor baby...*cries and cries*...

Here...come to mommy...she will rock you to sleep...

03 Feb 2007, 17:41	#4
The Flying Mouse Armed ba$tard and Jo's other half. Join Date: 06.08.2002 Location: In the middle of nowhere near the end of the line. Posts: 16,104	I thought you had to be in a bank to have safe sex Which means that bankers have the safest sex of all

03 Feb 2007, 17:57	#6
The Flying Mouse Armed ba$tard and Jo's other half. Join Date: 06.08.2002 Location: In the middle of nowhere near the end of the line. Posts: 16,104	If those cellar walls could talk.......

03 Feb 2007, 18:30	#13
mszee Mega Loafer Join Date: 28.03.2006 Location: And you think you're down under??? Posts: 26,252	Think you got something VERY wrong here... I've lived a thousand years in darkness - she can't stand your looks apparently and, therefore, you need to wear paper bag constantly... Banished all alone - when you come home drunk you have to sleep on the porch... Inside my mind with just my madness - your obsession with HER...can't think of NOTHING and NOBODY BUT her... Behind these walls of stone - yeah...that bathroom needs re-painting, honey...how about it???

03 Feb 2007, 18:33	#14
The Flying Mouse Armed ba$tard and Jo's other half. Join Date: 06.08.2002 Location: In the middle of nowhere near the end of the line. Posts: 16,104	Ok, OK, the truth of the matter I've lived a thousand years in darkness - She's getting on a bit, and insists on having the light OFF. Banished all alone - She's alone cause i'm always sent to the dog house. Inside my mind with just my madness - She's a bit Behind these walls of stone - She's in happy achres asylum as we speak

03 Feb 2007, 18:40	#15
mszee Mega Loafer Join Date: 28.03.2006 Location: And you think you're down under??? Posts: 26,252	I've lived a thousand years in darkness - She's gonna kill you at the first opportunity...hope you know it, dear...you're SO DEAD... Banished all alone - Being on her own is the BEST company considering the alternative Inside my mind with just my madness - But not as much as her spouse Behind these walls of stone - She's in happy achres asylum as we speak - and this is where they have met...she was a nurse...and you, apparently were high security patient... Oh...forgot to ask...should I bring you some arsenic when I visit next? Do they feed you well there??? I think they might be neglecting some food groups in your diet...let me help...

03 Feb 2007, 18:46	#16
The Flying Mouse Armed ba$tard and Jo's other half. Join Date: 06.08.2002 Location: In the middle of nowhere near the end of the line. Posts: 16,104	I've lived a thousand years in darkness - No real repost huh? Banished all alone - Hunni, with those multipal personalities, you are NEVER alone Inside my mind with just my madness - Funny how the can think the sane are ga ga. Makes sence actually Behind these walls of stone - No, you THOUGHT you were a nurse. That's why you were there. Really authentic though folks, she even had the Ann Summers uniform Hey, if you wanna give me some food, a curry would be nice right about now

03 Feb 2007, 18:59	#18
The Flying Mouse Armed ba$tard and Jo's other half. Join Date: 06.08.2002 Location: In the middle of nowhere near the end of the line. Posts: 16,104	She's rambling again . Time for your medication dear Think i'll go score some food now

03 Feb 2007, 19:33	#20
The Flying Mouse Armed ba$tard and Jo's other half. Join Date: 06.08.2002 Location: In the middle of nowhere near the end of the line. Posts: 16,104	Well I had to go and eat before I get ready to come to the asylum to see you dear. I'll be there soon

03 Feb 2007, 19:42	#22
The Flying Mouse Armed ba$tard and Jo's other half. Join Date: 06.08.2002 Location: In the middle of nowhere near the end of the line. Posts: 16,104	Don't know, that redhead nurse was giving me the eye the other night

03 Feb 2007, 19:46	#24
The Flying Mouse Armed ba$tard and Jo's other half. Join Date: 06.08.2002 Location: In the middle of nowhere near the end of the line. Posts: 16,104	No, the thing that was "me talking to a cow" has actually a hat stand standing next to a sideboard You'd taken a little too much medication dear