Then slap yourself silly and f*ck off to spare some young lady trouble...:roll:

:twisted: So you're saying instead of going out with a condom, I should stay at home "slapping myself silly"? :wtf:

I've never heard it called THAT before :shock:

Well, it's also called "safe sex"...but hey...you can look at that condom while slapping yourself...that is called..."the safest sex EVER"...

:twisted: I thought you had to be in a bank to have safe sex :wtf:

Which means that bankers have the safest sex of all :lmao:

My dear...I am very much afraid that this is not an option for you...:twisted:

Think of something more accessible for you...like let's see...PUB??? :shock:

:twisted: If those cellar walls could talk....... :bleh:

I've lived a thousand years in darkness
Banished all alone
Inside my mind with just my madness
Behind these walls of stone

Yeah, hun...the song was based on your life I am afraid...

:twisted: Think you misheard.

It's based on my WIFE :wink:

She into S&M, dear??? :shock:

POOR...:pics:

:twisted: Well what you think the lyrics are about? :shock:


I've lived a thousand years in darkness = Her blindfold fetish.


Banished all alone = When I lock her in the kitchen to make me breakfast.


Inside my mind with just my madness = She's mad about me :mrgreen: (or is that mad AT me? :roll: )


Behind these walls of stone = T'was a misprint.Original lyric = Up against a wall of stone.
No comment on that one :roll:

Wait a minte, are we talking about slapping or "slapping"?:confused:

I very much doubt that people like,...bankers, have sex at all:wtf:


:lmao:

:twisted: I have no idea :wtf:



You finally found the career option for you huh? :p


I really should be trying to clean this up :oops:

I'm showing such a bad example here :doh:

But nothing new there :roll:

Think you got something VERY wrong here...;)

I've lived a thousand years in darkness - she can't stand your looks apparently and, therefore, you need to wear paper bag constantly...:twisted:

Banished all alone - when you come home drunk you have to sleep on the porch...:evil:

Inside my mind with just my madness - your obsession with HER...can't think of NOTHING and NOBODY BUT her...:heart:

Behind these walls of stone - yeah...that bathroom needs re-painting, honey...how about it??? :retard:

:mrgreen:

:twisted: Ok, OK, the truth of the matter

I've lived a thousand years in darkness - She's getting on a bit, and insists on having the light OFF.

Banished all alone - She's alone cause i'm always sent to the dog house.

Inside my mind with just my madness - She's a bit :nuts:

Behind these walls of stone - She's in happy achres asylum as we speak :wtf:

I've lived a thousand years in darkness - She's gonna kill you at the first opportunity...hope you know it, dear...you're SO DEAD...

Banished all alone - Being on her own is the BEST company considering the alternative

Inside my mind with just my madness - But not as much :nuts: as her spouse

Behind these walls of stone - She's in happy achres asylum as we speak :wtf: - and this is where they have met...she was a nurse...and you,

apparently were high security patient...

Oh...forgot to ask...should I bring you some arsenic when I visit next?

Do they feed you well there??? :??:

I think they might be neglecting some food groups in your diet...let me help...

I've lived a thousand years in darkness - No real repost huh? :mrgreen:

Banished all alone - Hunni, with those multipal personalities, you are NEVER alone :p


Inside my mind with just my madness - Funny how the :nuts: can think the sane are ga ga.
Makes sence actually :roll:


Behind these walls of stone - No, you THOUGHT you were a nurse.
That's why you were there.
Really authentic though folks, she even had the Ann Summers uniform :wink:




Hey, if you wanna give me some food, a curry would be nice right about now :mrgreen:

I've lived a thousand years in darkness - No real repost huh? :mrgreen: -

The truth is hard to swallow when you're choking on your pride...:(

Banished all alone - Hunni, with those multipal personalities, you are NEVER alone :p -

I know, love...those multiple personalities of yours haunt me even when I throw you out on your ass outside...at least one of you always stays behind somehow...:twisted:


Inside my mind with just my madness - Funny how the :nuts: can think the sane are ga ga.
Makes sence actually :roll:

I know, love, I know...I will do everything possible to find you another doctor...this one doesn't seem to be able to help anymore...:shock:


Behind these walls of stone - No, you THOUGHT you were a nurse.
That's why you were there.
Really authentic though folks, she even had the Ann Summers uniform :wink:

Hun...it's time for your enema...turn around, baby...:evil:


Meet me in the pub...I already left you there all the curry spiced with...let's not go there...that you can handle...or not...:cool:

:twisted: She's rambling again :nuts: .

Time for your medication dear :yep:

Think i'll go score some food now :mrgreen:

Ahhh...retreat is a beautiful thing...when the battle is lost...there nothing left but to retreat...I do understand...I seriously DO understand...:cool:

*Pats Flying Mouse on the head*...:(

Don't cry, Flying Mouse...next time, honey...I will LET you win...:lmao:

So sorry you had to give up so soon...:twisted:

:twisted: Well I had to go and eat before I get ready to come to the asylum to see you dear.

I'll be there soon :wink:

Can't wait, hun...

And oh yes...since this thread is called off-topic condom talk...you can leave yours at home...

I am sure you will have no need for it for a long long time now...:lmao:

:twisted: Don't know, that redhead nurse was giving me the eye the other night :roll:

Hun...you forgot your medication again...:(

The "redhead nurse" you were drooling over the other night was nothing but a prize cow from the farm nearby...:lol:

So sorry, hun...you know I do wish you only well, right???

:lmao:

:twisted: No, the thing that was "me talking to a cow" has actually a hat stand standing next to a sideboard :wtf:

You'd taken a little too much medication dear :nuts:

My dear dear love...:heart:

WE DON'T HAVE HAT STAND STANDING NEXT TO THE SIDEBOARD!!! :shock:

Poor baby...*cries and cries*...

Here...come to mommy...she will rock you to sleep...:lmao: