Late for work

Chris · 18 May 2003, 20:20

Feel free to use as many of these excuses as you like! (no responsibility accepted for people whose boss does not have a sense of humour!!)

I will be late for work because...
~ I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss,
who fired me for not s showing up for work. Okay?

~ I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that
deadline to meet...

~ I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food Giant.

~ Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey,
how about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you?
No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.

~ I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come
to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.

~ The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this
jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I'm startled.

~ The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.

~ I prefer to remain an enigma.

~ I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is
completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter
transportation.

~ I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian.

~ I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates.

~ I refuse to travel to my job until there is a commuter tax. I insist on
paying my fair share.

~ I've used up all my sick days...so I'm calling in dead!

~ I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an
hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop,
reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop
only by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly e*log(pi) clocks
in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled
up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early.

Tim · 19 May 2003, 16:33

THanks Chris, last friday i was an hour late for work... just over slept but... no problem, said it was the cause of delay by the train!!! Funny, they believed it.

18 May 2003, 20:20	#1
Chris Mega Loafer Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Somewhere in the real world. Posts: 7,527	Late for work Feel free to use as many of these excuses as you like! (no responsibility accepted for people whose boss does not have a sense of humour!!) I will be late for work because... ~ I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not s showing up for work. Okay? ~ I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet... ~ I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food Giant. ~ Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling. ~ I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information. ~ The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I'm startled. ~ The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet. ~ I prefer to remain an enigma. ~ I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation. ~ I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian. ~ I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates. ~ I refuse to travel to my job until there is a commuter tax. I insist on paying my fair share. ~ I've used up all my sick days...so I'm calling in dead! ~ I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly e*log(pi) clocks in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early.

19 May 2003, 16:33	#2
Tim The Butcher Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Westervoort, The Netherlands Posts: 10,321	THanks Chris, last friday i was an hour late for work... just over slept but... no problem, said it was the cause of delay by the train!!! Funny, they believed it.