Tale From The Shop Counter

Chris · 12 May 2003, 22:07

Hi all,

I work in a newsagents and this amused me today.

A lad (about 7 years old) came in and was acting like a right little brat being rude to my staff and everything.

He came up to the counter and said "Oy, How much are these?"

I thought, I'm not serving him until he says please and thank you. so I replied "How much are these what?"

"How much are these mints?" he said.

"How much are these mints what?" said I

"How are much are these mints Mr.?" He said

(I was getting bored now) "Whats the magic word?" Said I

"How much are these mints Mr. Abracadabra!!!!!!!" He said.

At which point I started laughing hysterically.

meshurp · 12 May 2003, 22:11

original sin · 12 May 2003, 22:12

i don't know if i should laugh or cry at this

You could probably write a book on the daft things people say in the shop. I was looking for something in our local earlier and couldn't think ofthe name so gave a very bad description and it felt like i ewas in a monty python sketch

Bren · 12 May 2003, 22:39

most amusing Chris!

Ben · 12 May 2003, 23:58

LOL, :P

White of High · 13 May 2003, 15:57

Great!

mumfej · 13 May 2003, 18:23

love the story,
My husband is a butcher he says people ask for allsorts of things and not always meat things, my hairdresser said she went into a butchers and asked for vegetarian burgers (what a barbie) ,But the silly tails we hear must remind us how often we go into a shop and don`t say thankyou,

Tim · 13 May 2003, 21:36

Hahah, funny story Chris!!!

And is your husband a Butcher??? no way, i'm the Butcher around here

Chris · 13 May 2003, 22:41

We get all sorts of nutters in on a regular basis. We had a lady in a few motnhs ago asked me what the winning lottery numbers of rthe following day were!!

Apparently, she said, they draw the lottery a few days earlier adn only pretend that it is live on telly. this means that they can tell all the newsagents the winning numbers so we know not to sell that set of numbers to anyone!!!!!

Is it me??

heat · 13 May 2003, 22:47

Probably

Heat
xxx

Ben · 14 May 2003, 16:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris

We get all sorts of nutters in on a regular basis. We had a lady in a few motnhs ago asked me what the winning lottery numbers of rthe following day were!!

Apparently, she said, they draw the lottery a few days earlier adn only pretend that it is live on telly. this means that they can tell all the newsagents the winning numbers so we know not to sell that set of numbers to anyone!!!!!

Is it me??

Sounds to me like you attract the chris, lol

original sin · 14 May 2003, 17:25

If there is any element of truth in what that lady thought.......
Chris do ya think you could email me the numbers

Ben · 14 May 2003, 18:09

yeah and me!! :P

Chris · 14 May 2003, 19:52

I can provide you with a set of winning numbers. I cannot guarantee that they are this weeks numbers but they will come out eventually!!!!

original sin · 14 May 2003, 22:50

I've been saying that for the last 8 years Chris!!!

How much longer

Maybe we should have an on line syndycate win a couple of million and have Meat do us a private concert

......now thats an idea

Chris · 03 Jun 2003, 21:32

Well, thought i would bounce this back up a bit....

Today I have been performing the annual tidy out of the lost property cupboard. All items left by customers in out three shops get chucked into a cupboard. This is then saved until the first week in June when it is sorted out and donated to Oxfam. This years inventory is:

Umbrellas (16)
Keys - Assorted House and Car keys (165)
False teeth - Upper sets (3), lower sets (2)
Walking Sicks/Crutches (19)
Hearing Aids (3)
Wallets (19)
Hats & Caps (12

Shoes - 1, Gents Laft Black Leather Shoe
Pushchairs - 1
Mobile Phones - 17
Sweeping Brushes - 1
Buckets - 3
Walkmans - 7
Cassettes/CD's - 27
Bottles of wine - 6
Trousers - 1 pair, Gents waist size 34"
Boxer Shorts - 2 pairs, size Medium
Bras - 1, Size 34D, Red!!
Thermos Flasks - 2 (1 containing Soup!!)
Drill Bits - 1, !/4" Masonary Bit - Blunt
Dog Leashes - 17
Bus passes - 93
Bags - Handbags/Schoolbags/ etc - 24
Assorted Combs/Hairbrushes - 58
Books - 43

I will add to this list as and when I sort more junk out!!!

Bren · 03 Jun 2003, 21:54

Chris

what does go on in your shop?some of the items i can understand people absentmindedly forgetting

,but some of them

the mind boggles as to how you couldforget them,or not notice you'd lost them

Chris · 03 Jun 2003, 21:58

I agree entirely!!!

How the chuff do you manage to leave a bra behind in the shop??

Asha · 03 Jun 2003, 22:04

Or you're false teeth??
Or you're crutches, how'd you get out of the shop? crawling?

This is really mindbogling......
At my work people tend to forget clothes or they're toothbrushes, but he, I work in a hospital....

How in the world do you forget those things in a shop???

A very astounded,
Asha

Bren · 03 Jun 2003, 22:04

exactly!!

Testify · 03 Jun 2003, 22:59

i would have loved to have been a fly on the wall chris!!!

Chris · 21 Jul 2003, 20:16

I am bouncing this topic up once more in order to have a little rant. Nothing major and I hope i don't offend anyone but:

Why the hell do people seem to think that my one aim in life is to get as much of their spit and saliva on my hands as possible.

What part of "that will be £5.27 please love" sounds like "please take twenty pounds from your purse, stick it in your mouth and drool over it at much as possible."

This is one thing that is really starting to p... me off. Surely there is no reason for doing it. Do the people not realise that there are germs adn thigns in their mouths. And also, it is disgusting. Would you lick your credit card before handing it over in a resteraunt? No? Then why feel the need to do this with your notes!!!!

I do not want to have to be washing my hands after serving every customer because of the gunk on them. So people, please think when opening your wallets.

Rant over!!!!

(PS it is invariably women who do this!!)

**The Flying Mouse** · 21 Jul 2003, 22:10

It's not always the customer at fault Chris

.
I met Carol in town before and decided to get some KFC to bring home in a taxi.Carol abandoning her diet for the day

.
I asked the Indian guy behind the counter for a carton of gravy.
He told me that they didn't have any beans left.
I said no,I want gravy.
He again told me that they had no beans.
I pointed to the menu board at a big picure of a carton of gravy (which was unfortunatly on the same picture of a carton of beans) and said I want some gravy.
He told me we havn't got any beans,we've got gravy.

Chris · 21 Jul 2003, 22:22

I refer to the notice that I keep pinned to my office wall (OK, it's actually the kitchenette in the bedsit above the shop where we store stock! But it's an office to me!)

The customer is always right
Ignorant
pigheaded
misinformed
rude
obnoxious
cheeky
and down right irritable
but NEVER wrong!

EDIT

Forgot to say, the place where all us staff hang out - American but great!!!

EDIT 2

Brilliant, the site address ahd the word s u c k s in so I cannot post it!!! It is www.customers s u c k.com

Asha · 22 Jul 2003, 00:44

Went to check out that site, Chris. There are some very Funny things there. I was in stiches

Asha

12 May 2003, 22:07	#1
Chris Mega Loafer Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Somewhere in the real world. Posts: 7,527	Tale From The Shop Counter Hi all, I work in a newsagents and this amused me today. A lad (about 7 years old) came in and was acting like a right little brat being rude to my staff and everything. He came up to the counter and said "Oy, How much are these?" I thought, I'm not serving him until he says please and thank you. so I replied "How much are these what?" "How much are these mints?" he said. "How much are these mints what?" said I "How are much are these mints Mr.?" He said (I was getting bored now) "Whats the magic word?" Said I "How much are these mints Mr. Abracadabra!!!!!!!" He said. At which point I started laughing hysterically.

12 May 2003, 22:11	#2
meshurp Super Loafer Join Date: 19.04.2003 Location: In The World, somewhere... Posts: 444

12 May 2003, 22:12	#3
original sin Sinner Join Date: 15.04.2003 Location: cyber space Posts: 2,457	i don't know if i should laugh or cry at this You could probably write a book on the daft things people say in the shop. I was looking for something in our local earlier and couldn't think ofthe name so gave a very bad description and it felt like i ewas in a monty python sketch

12 May 2003, 22:39	#4
Bren The Bat Join Date: 23.03.2003 Location: Roosting on a Silver-Black Phantom Bike. Posts: 10,017	most amusing Chris!

12 May 2003, 23:58	#5
Ben Mega Loafer Join Date: 19.03.2003 Location: Kent, England Posts: 4,163	LOL, :P

13 May 2003, 15:57	#6
White of High Nature's Siegfried Join Date: 27.05.2002 Location: Budapest, Hungary Posts: 2,930	Great!

13 May 2003, 18:23	#7
mumfej Rookie Join Date: 09.05.2003 Location: England Posts: 8	love the story, My husband is a butcher he says people ask for allsorts of things and not always meat things, my hairdresser said she went into a butchers and asked for vegetarian burgers (what a barbie) ,But the silly tails we hear must remind us how often we go into a shop and don`t say thankyou,

13 May 2003, 21:36	#8
Tim The Butcher Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Westervoort, The Netherlands Posts: 10,321	Hahah, funny story Chris!!! And is your husband a Butcher??? no way, i'm the Butcher around here

13 May 2003, 22:41	#9
Chris Mega Loafer Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Somewhere in the real world. Posts: 7,527	We get all sorts of nutters in on a regular basis. We had a lady in a few motnhs ago asked me what the winning lottery numbers of rthe following day were!! Apparently, she said, they draw the lottery a few days earlier adn only pretend that it is live on telly. this means that they can tell all the newsagents the winning numbers so we know not to sell that set of numbers to anyone!!!!! Is it me??

13 May 2003, 22:47	#10
heat Rampant Loafer... Join Date: 29.07.2002 Location: welshy wales Posts: 5,706	Probably Heat xxx

14 May 2003, 17:25	#12
original sin Sinner Join Date: 15.04.2003 Location: cyber space Posts: 2,457	If there is any element of truth in what that lady thought....... Chris do ya think you could email me the numbers

14 May 2003, 18:09	#13
Ben Mega Loafer Join Date: 19.03.2003 Location: Kent, England Posts: 4,163	yeah and me!! :P

14 May 2003, 19:52	#14
Chris Mega Loafer Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Somewhere in the real world. Posts: 7,527	I can provide you with a set of winning numbers. I cannot guarantee that they are this weeks numbers but they will come out eventually!!!!

14 May 2003, 22:50	#15
original sin Sinner Join Date: 15.04.2003 Location: cyber space Posts: 2,457	I've been saying that for the last 8 years Chris!!! How much longer Maybe we should have an on line syndycate win a couple of million and have Meat do us a private concert ......now thats an idea

03 Jun 2003, 21:32	#16
Chris Mega Loafer Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Somewhere in the real world. Posts: 7,527	Well, thought i would bounce this back up a bit.... Today I have been performing the annual tidy out of the lost property cupboard. All items left by customers in out three shops get chucked into a cupboard. This is then saved until the first week in June when it is sorted out and donated to Oxfam. This years inventory is: Umbrellas (16) Keys - Assorted House and Car keys (165) False teeth - Upper sets (3), lower sets (2) Walking Sicks/Crutches (19) Hearing Aids (3) Wallets (19) Hats & Caps (12 Shoes - 1, Gents Laft Black Leather Shoe Pushchairs - 1 Mobile Phones - 17 Sweeping Brushes - 1 Buckets - 3 Walkmans - 7 Cassettes/CD's - 27 Bottles of wine - 6 Trousers - 1 pair, Gents waist size 34" Boxer Shorts - 2 pairs, size Medium Bras - 1, Size 34D, Red!! Thermos Flasks - 2 (1 containing Soup!!) Drill Bits - 1, !/4" Masonary Bit - Blunt Dog Leashes - 17 Bus passes - 93 Bags - Handbags/Schoolbags/ etc - 24 Assorted Combs/Hairbrushes - 58 Books - 43 I will add to this list as and when I sort more junk out!!!

03 Jun 2003, 21:54	#17
Bren The Bat Join Date: 23.03.2003 Location: Roosting on a Silver-Black Phantom Bike. Posts: 10,017	Chris what does go on in your shop?some of the items i can understand people absentmindedly forgetting ,but some of them the mind boggles as to how you couldforget them,or not notice you'd lost them

03 Jun 2003, 21:58	#18
Chris Mega Loafer Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Somewhere in the real world. Posts: 7,527	I agree entirely!!! How the chuff do you manage to leave a bra behind in the shop??

03 Jun 2003, 22:04	#19
Asha Mega Loafer Join Date: 05.05.2003 Location: Somewhere out there Posts: 1,356	Or you're false teeth?? Or you're crutches, how'd you get out of the shop? crawling? This is really mindbogling...... At my work people tend to forget clothes or they're toothbrushes, but he, I work in a hospital.... How in the world do you forget those things in a shop??? A very astounded, Asha

03 Jun 2003, 22:59	#21
Testify ragamuffin Join Date: 21.05.2003 Location: xxx daydreaming xxx Posts: 5,023	i would have loved to have been a fly on the wall chris!!!

21 Jul 2003, 20:16	#22
Chris Mega Loafer Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Somewhere in the real world. Posts: 7,527	I am bouncing this topic up once more in order to have a little rant. Nothing major and I hope i don't offend anyone but: Why the hell do people seem to think that my one aim in life is to get as much of their spit and saliva on my hands as possible. What part of "that will be £5.27 please love" sounds like "please take twenty pounds from your purse, stick it in your mouth and drool over it at much as possible." This is one thing that is really starting to p... me off. Surely there is no reason for doing it. Do the people not realise that there are germs adn thigns in their mouths. And also, it is disgusting. Would you lick your credit card before handing it over in a resteraunt? No? Then why feel the need to do this with your notes!!!! I do not want to have to be washing my hands after serving every customer because of the gunk on them. So people, please think when opening your wallets. Rant over!!!! (PS it is invariably women who do this!!)

21 Jul 2003, 22:10	#23
The Flying Mouse Armed ba$tard and Jo's other half. Join Date: 06.08.2002 Location: In the middle of nowhere near the end of the line. Posts: 16,104	It's not always the customer at fault Chris . I met Carol in town before and decided to get some KFC to bring home in a taxi.Carol abandoning her diet for the day . I asked the Indian guy behind the counter for a carton of gravy. He told me that they didn't have any beans left. I said no,I want gravy. He again told me that they had no beans. I pointed to the menu board at a big picure of a carton of gravy (which was unfortunatly on the same picture of a carton of beans) and said I want some gravy. He told me we havn't got any beans,we've got gravy.

21 Jul 2003, 22:22	#24
Chris Mega Loafer Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Somewhere in the real world. Posts: 7,527	I refer to the notice that I keep pinned to my office wall (OK, it's actually the kitchenette in the bedsit above the shop where we store stock! But it's an office to me!) The customer is always right Ignorant pigheaded misinformed rude obnoxious cheeky and down right irritable but NEVER wrong! EDIT Forgot to say, the place where all us staff hang out - American but great!!! EDIT 2 Brilliant, the site address ahd the word s u c k s in so I cannot post it!!! It is www.customers s u c k.com

22 Jul 2003, 00:44	#25
Asha Mega Loafer Join Date: 05.05.2003 Location: Somewhere out there Posts: 1,356	Went to check out that site, Chris. There are some very Funny things there. I was in stiches Asha