Quotes of the day ....

[Wario]

I cant stand it when people are attracted to me. But sitting down it feels much better.

[AndyK]

From the shoutbox ...


[Today 11:52] you need to get a life. :P

[daveake]

We have a winner :lol:

[mszee]

From the shoutbox ...

LMAO....................

[Monstro]

Sort of catching up on sport news after being on the road all day, on the BBC "as it happened" (qualifying) website for tomorrows grand prix........

Boy_from_Brum on Twitter: "It's like this. You want someone to get you there as smooth as you like in a Roller; hire Jenson Button. You want to make that flight in a taxi with seconds to spare; hire Lewis Hamilton. You want some building supplies delivered from B&Q, hire anyone from Ferrari!"

Love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[MeatGrl1]

At the restaurant tonight;

Waiter: Their like an orgasm in your mouth ! (Talking about this prawn dish)
My sister: I'll have to come back and try that then !!

:shock: :lmao: !!

[~Helen~]

"If you don't like the smell of it Helen, don't eat it. Your dad can have it tomorrow" - can only be my mum!

[Monstro]

We're watching X Factor and Belle Amie are on (girl group), Simon says no-one else out there so we obviously talk about why Girls Aloud aren't about at the mo, and Anji says.......

"Well they're doing their own stuff now, Cheryl's even working on her second album now........... don't know why though, they're still slagging off her last one"

Nearly spat out me whiskey lol

[Monstro]

We're watching X Factor and Belle Amie are on (girl group), Simon says no-one else out there so we obviously talk about why Girls Aloud aren't about at the mo, and Anji says.......

"Well they're doing their own stuff now, Cheryl's even working on her second album now........... don't know why though, they're still slagging off her last one"

Nearly spat out me whiskey lol

[The Flying Mouse]

:twisted: Did a couple of singing spots last night at a charity event for Help For Heroes, and this afternoon Jo and I were discussing a local duo who also appeared on the bill known as Deja Vu.

Jo........ "Deja Vu, i'm sure i've seen them before" :lmao:

[The Flying Mouse]

:twisted: Jo and I were walking through the graveyard earlier when a lady said "excuse me, i'm trying to find a relatives grave.Are they in alphabetical order?" :lmao:

That would make the grave nearest the gate that of Aaron Aardvark.

[Sue K]

:twisted: Jo and I were walking through the graveyard earlier when a lady said "excuse me, i'm trying to find a relatives grave.Are they in alphabetical order?" :lmao:



I can understand her confusion. Afterall, check any obituary section in a newspaper and you'll see folks DIE in alphabetical order ... :twisted: ... lol ...

[Monstro]

It's Anji's 30th next week......

Me "Don't worry hun, I'll still love you when you're 30"

Anji "wish I'd loved you when you were 30"

God she's quick sometimes lol

[duke knooby]

from bbc web site 4 mins ago

More News Top Stories


* Blair's 'regret' over Iraq dead
* Health trust to cut 1,600 posts
* Extra time to quiz Yeates suspect
* We are united on deficit - Balls
* MI5 officer to give 7/7 evidence

i liked the deficit one

[Sue K]

I overheard this clip of discussion when passing two teachers on the street yesterday morning ...

... "at least if there was outdoor recess we'd have something to hold over their heads" ...

So, LOOK OUT, kiddies in Philadelphia !!! Your teachers have "cabin fever" and may be ready to go "postal" !!! ... hehe ...

peace... t ... xo

[The Flying Mouse]

:twisted: Jo.............


aaaaaaah, you're not dense, don't listen to him.


:lawl:

[Sue K]

The side of cellphone conversation I heard while riding bus to work:

" yeah and did you hear ? John o'deed... Yeah, another one bites the dust ... hehe... and his f*cking kid found him... Can you believe that ?" ...

[Hypnobabe]

From my usual source, last night: "your head's full of flowers, but not pollen!"

[The Flying Mouse]

:twisted: Conor (my nephew) The country I don't want to be naughty in the most is America.

Mum - Why?

Conor - Judge Judy


:lmao:


Again, on Judge Judy.........

Conor - If a baby snatches a lollypop out of his mothers hand then Judge Judy would sue the baby.


I don't think Conor should be allowed to see any more daytime TV :nuts:

[Evil One]

My neighbour shouting at her husband: "Great! Now I smell of ~~~~ing dog shit!" I have no idea to the context. :bleh:

[The Flying Mouse]

I have no idea to the context. :bleh:

:twisted: We need that information. :bleh:
Go find out.
By stealth if possible, if not, just knock on the door and ask.

[Evil One]

Then there's the possibilty that I may end up smelling of dog shit. :shock:

[Monstro]

Be careful what you walk in

[The Flying Mouse]

Then there's the possibilty that I may end up smelling of dog shit. :shock:

:twisted: Dude, we all take one for the team now and then :yep:

[The Flying Mouse]

:twisted: I'm on ebay looking at a CD player and the item discription says "from a smoke free, pet free home".

Jo - "I'm not giving up smoking so you can get that".

Shortly followed with the afterthought.......

"Unless we put it in a room where we don't smoke".


God help me :facepalm: :lmao:

[Monstro]

Stolen from a m8 who found it on twitter.......


Didn't think they did Bin collections on a bank holiday

[allrevvedup]

Stolen from a m8 who found it on twitter.......


Didn't think they did Bin collections on a bank holiday

keeping a bad drummer in business with jokes like that

[samurai7]

My brother, on getting fat:

I love my food, me. It's all I ever eat!

:mrgreen:

[Sue K]

Not a quote really, I suppose, but I did have to explain to my mother-in-law why people were going in and out of the house that's for sale two doors down from ours. It's the people who own the house. They haven't moved, simply put the house up. She just couldn't comprehend people putting their house up for sale... and staying there ... lol ... Pity me... PLEASE ... SOMEbody ... lol ... xo

[Hypnobabe]

Nuclear war - tuck and roll!!!!

[Sue K]

Again, from my mother-in-law, who's been diagnosed with stomach cancer (and please bear in mind, she's 78yo and VERY old school) :

Phone call to her in hospital :

me : Has the cancer doctor been in to see you yet?

mnl: No, just some colored fella. He came in and told me the results of the test and what they were probably going to do, but no. No cancer doctor yet.

****

To find, yes, that was her cancer doctor... lol ... I asked my husband, what, did she think the janitor was coming in telling her all this ?... lol ... good gravy davy in the morning ...

[Sue K]

another mother-in-lawism ...

"Don't bother reading the other side of the paper. It's in Puerto Rican".

Pronounced ~ "PortaReekin".

And of course, she means "Spanish".

[Evil One]

"You irritate the hole in my ~~~~ing crotch!" - an ugly old woman bellowing across the road at another ugly old woman. :shock:

[duke knooby]

read this on another site where they were commenting on the problems sony is currently having... and it made me laugh

"Apple are experts at making people think they are in some exclusive club rather than having their choices limited. Sony’s problem is that their software is clunky as ~~~~ and is always the worst thing about their products so it doesn’t give off that air of smug you get from Apple."

(that air of smug you get from apple... i loved that bit)

[Sebastian.]

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lv2c0pT6qA1qhsihio1_500.png

Marge: Have you noticed any change in Bart?
Homer: New glasses?
Marge: No…he looks like something might be disturbing him.
Homer: Probably misses his old glasses.
Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart’s activities but then I’d be afraid of smothering him.
Homer: Yeah, and then we’d get the chair.
Marge: That’s not what I meant.
Homer: It was, Marge, admit it.

[snowy]

My daughter has to write a fact file about someone famous and has chosen the Rock God himself on which to base her work. (Well trained from a young age). The first page has the basic details, name, birth, even birth name but under Death she has written 'He's not dead yet'.
I'm still laughing:lol:

[The Flying Mouse]

:twisted: Jo - I want to clone Scoobie, 'cause then i'll have two gorgeous little boys running round.

Me - You already do :mrgreen: <------ said with a cheesy smile

Jo - You're not a little white Westie :nope:


That's great that is :shock:

[Sue K]

Tv news broadcast: What were you doing in 1994 ?

Me: Oh... That was the year I discovered Meat Loaf... or was that ...

Husband: We got married...

Me: Oh... ummm... hehe... or was Meat in 1993 ? ... Oh, Sweetie... I'm getting old and never remember that date... hehe ... :oops: ...

[The Flying Mouse]

:twisted: Posted by a friend on another forum.

Am I too young to buy a rug, I wonder?

:wtf: :lol:

[The Flying Mouse]

:twisted: News analyst Bob Beckel makes his feeling known concering Wikileaks founder Julian Assange..........

"A dead man can't leak stuff," Beckel said. "This guy's a traitor, he's treasonous, and he has broken every law of the United States."
I didn't know you could commit treason to a country you don't hold citizenship too :shock:

And this is the best part :mrgreen:

"And I'm not for the death penalty, so...there's only one way to do it: illegally shoot the son of a bitch."

F*cking love it :lmao:

[Hypnobabe]

From a Uni friend yesterday: "Transylvania? Is that abroad?!"

[The Flying Mouse]

:twisted: I rang a pal of mine up but his phone went to answer phone.

Me - No answer.

Jo - You're better off ringing him when you can get hold of him.

Me - How am I supposed to know if he's available to answer the call or not before I ring him? :lol:

[AndyK]

"I do" ... Lucy on Saturday! :))

[The Flying Mouse]

:twisted: *while watching a political debate on TV*
Jo - "Dick Cheney, he was a deterctive wasn't he?"

Me - "That was Dick Tracy" :facepalm: :lol:

[Hypnobabe]

At various points during the Resident Evil movie marathon on Saturday: "zom-nom-nom-nom-nom...."

[AndyK]

My Wife: "Andy, the freezer's broke"
Me: "In what way is the freezer broke?"
My Wife: "I can't work it"

[The Flying Mouse]

:twisted: On the subject of Celeb BB...........

I told them no.

:mrgreen:

[melon]

:twisted: On the subject of Celeb BB...........

:mrgreen:

I want to like that that post, like, a million-billion times

Sent from my HTC Incredible S using Forum Runner

[AndyK]

The prize for observation within an environment goes to Biggles for:

"That's that bloke off the One Show"

[LucyK!]

Followed closely by Sean's "just spat my b@stard tea all over the place!"

[Monstro]

Followed closely by Sean's "just spat my b@stard tea all over the place!"

And followed by Sean's "Get off my bloody telly!!!"

[Sebastian.]

The prize for observation within an environment goes to Biggles for:

"That's that bloke off the One Show"

Nothing gets passed me!

[Hypnobabe]

According to one of my usual giggle-fest conversations with a certain forum member coughCathiecough the sequel to Les Mis is going to be called Houses for Cowses.....