How To Keep A Healthy Level of Insanity

shadow1000001 · 12 Dec 2003, 04:34

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffiene addiction, switch to expresso.

4. In the memo field of all your cheques, write "for sexual favors".

5. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".

6. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

7. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh histerically after they answer.

8. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

9. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

10. When money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won! I won!".

11. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, Run for your lives, they're loose!!!

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity:

12. Tell your children over dinner, "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

black dog · 12 Dec 2003, 09:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadow1000001

12. Tell your children over dinner, "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

Thay doesn't sound like insanity. That sounds like sense.

DIZZY DRUMMER · 12 Dec 2003, 13:09

Shadow1000001 wrote:

7. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh histerically after they answer.

This would be great in my line of work, as I work in a hospital and have to check peoples details lol I think I may get sacked though

Bigmomma · 12 Dec 2003, 13:24

these are great maria, thanks but i think if i tried either the zoo
or the ATM trick the kids would disown me for good

now that
is a great idea, kids lets go to the zoo

heat · 12 Dec 2003, 18:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadow1000001

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

Used to do this to amuse ourselves on a sunday afternoon when i was in Uni - t'was great fun!!!!!

ChrissybabezNI · 12 Dec 2003, 19:03

When you get into work start playing Nine to Five. Don't turn it off til you leave at five...

Chris · 12 Dec 2003, 21:47

Quote:

When money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won! I won!".

I tried!! The bank manager now thinks i am a nutter!!!!

Chris

PS. We work longer than nine to five so cannot play it. But you have no idea how pissed the boss gets when you wander round work singing little shopp pf horrors all day!!

12 Dec 2003, 04:34	#1
shadow1000001 Mega Loafer Join Date: 10.07.2003 Location: Red Deer, Alberta, Canada Posts: 2,580	How To Keep A Healthy Level of Insanity 1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 3. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffiene addiction, switch to expresso. 4. In the memo field of all your cheques, write "for sexual favors". 5. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy". 6. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 7. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh histerically after they answer. 8. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go". 9. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day. 10. When money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won! I won!". 11. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, Run for your lives, they're loose!!! And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity: 12. Tell your children over dinner, "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

12 Dec 2003, 13:09	#3
DIZZY DRUMMER Always Ready For A Bang Join Date: 30.11.2003 Location: Left In The Dark .......... AGAIN Posts: 6,389	Shadow1000001 wrote: 7. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh histerically after they answer. This would be great in my line of work, as I work in a hospital and have to check peoples details lol I think I may get sacked though

12 Dec 2003, 13:24	#4
Bigmomma Super Loafer Join Date: 07.07.2003 Location: Somewhere in time in my mind......... Posts: 655	these are great maria, thanks but i think if i tried either the zoo or the ATM trick the kids would disown me for good now that is a great idea, kids lets go to the zoo

12 Dec 2003, 19:03	#6
ChrissybabezNI Super Loafer Join Date: 18.11.2003 Location: Carrickfergus, Northern Ireland Posts: 352	When you get into work start playing Nine to Five. Don't turn it off til you leave at five...