Stage FRIGHT!!!

Meat Redfish · 18 Aug 2010, 05:33

so im in need of advice, my brother is gettin married in november IM the best man that means SPEEEEECH!! i do alot on the mike at work however this is for over 1000 people! not 10 in the pub quiz! HELP?! plzzzz

thx

suzieq · 18 Aug 2010, 05:43

picture everyone naked.

Actually, my best man at my wedding was shaking so bad we told him just to focus on us while he gave the speech then only look out the sea of people to raise the toast. After that drinking heavily commenced and he got over it just fine :) Good luck to you, it is an honor that is bestowed upon you.

CarylB · 18 Aug 2010, 09:48

Speak from the heart and remember the people there are friends and want to enjoy themselves. Also, don't look at the whole crowd as you speak. As you talk look round and make eye contact with a number of people scattered around the whole group (there will always be some smiling faces, choose them, ideally some you know well or have met, and include one or two as far back as you can make eye contact with) .. Just make contact, skim to make contact with the next, skim again, etc and back and forth throughout. This brings the size of the audience down .. and you'll be talking to one person at a time in a small group of 10 (and you know you're comfortable with that).

Remember, you can only ever really talk to one person at a time, even when there are hundreds in front of you, and we can all talk to one person. I've spoken to a crowd of 3000 at a conference, but all the time kept in my head that they were a group of individuals, and I could only talk to one at a time :)

It's always good to start with a question to which the answer is clearly Yes .. rhetorical, and that people can readily can agree with .. Look round the room as you're asking it. Some will always smile and nod .. make them the target group for eye contact to begin with; you can add any others you see smiling as you're speaking and spot them during your sweeps of the room.

Have a great time :)

Caryl

Caryl

suzieq · 18 Aug 2010, 15:33

Caryl's ideas are much better! Go with that.

*AndyK* · 18 Aug 2010, 15:39

In a past life I worked for a video production company and spent about 4 years of my life filming wedding videos every Saturday. I've seen every type of best man's speech there is, from the sublime to the ridiculous.

No matter how nervious you are all the guests will be rooting for you. Don't drink too much before the speech (save that till after you've finished), plan it out and keep your key notes on a handy card or two. Most of all don't go on too long, short and to the point is best!

24K · 18 Aug 2010, 17:55

I must say i was impressed by my hubbys best man, he was funny without being too over the top !
My dad was a nervous wreck cos of having to do a speech. But he was great, kept it simple and he didn't drink too much ! LOL.. that was many moons ago !

Cherry.Loaf · 18 Aug 2010, 19:56

whenever I've had to perform I just focus on something or someone and speak directly to/at them

Couch Potato · 18 Aug 2010, 21:56

Mate, I did this last year for my best mate, Ive played infront of 300-4000 ppl, and I dont want to put you off, this was the most nerve rackin thing I ever did. All I can say is, write something from the heart, throw in some jokes, stories (if I can find my speech, I will send you a copy if you like). Just enjoy it, it will be over quicker than you think, but remember not to put anything offensive in or rude, some grannies get really ofended, as do others, as rude/blue material.
All the best
Rich

**The Flying Mouse** · 18 Aug 2010, 22:21

I had to give a eulogy at my great auntie's funeral a while back, and I have to agree with CP, public speaking can be more nerve racking than performing, because you have your performance to hide behind (if that makes sense).
But if you stay relaxed, you'll be fine.

My tips (some of which have been posted).....

Don't make it too long.

Balance between funny and heartfelt is good.

PRACTICE.

Practise some more.Try saying the speech different ways.

Read the speech to someone to see what they think. (hell, post it on here if you want an honest opinion).

When you are up there, take your time.
The wedding reception isn't going to continue until you are good and ready.
Pause for breath when you need it, don't garble it out in a flood to get it over and done with.

Most people sympathise with the public speaker and appreciate how hard it is to make a speech.They are on your side so don't panic.

Have fun, and bag yourself a bridesmaid

Meat Redfish · 20 Aug 2010, 05:07

Happy Dayz!! cheeeers for the advice guys! (and girls) all noted, just under half done. :)

Couch Potato · 20 Aug 2010, 15:09

Good luck with it mate, I tried some sites to get ideas, did not copy them, just to get ideas. Let us know how it goes :)

18 Aug 2010, 05:33	#1
Meat Redfish Loafer Join Date: 10.01.2007 Location: Posts: 96	Stage FRIGHT!!! so im in need of advice, my brother is gettin married in november IM the best man that means SPEEEEECH!! i do alot on the mike at work however this is for over 1000 people! not 10 in the pub quiz! HELP?! plzzzz thx

18 Aug 2010, 05:43	#2
suzieq Mega Loafer Join Date: 26.10.2008 Location: West Palm Beach, Florida Posts: 2,319	picture everyone naked. Actually, my best man at my wedding was shaking so bad we told him just to focus on us while he gave the speech then only look out the sea of people to raise the toast. After that drinking heavily commenced and he got over it just fine :) Good luck to you, it is an honor that is bestowed upon you.

18 Aug 2010, 09:48	#3
CarylB Mega Loafer Join Date: 16.04.2003 Location: Sheffield UK Posts: 5,910	Speak from the heart and remember the people there are friends and want to enjoy themselves. Also, don't look at the whole crowd as you speak. As you talk look round and make eye contact with a number of people scattered around the whole group (there will always be some smiling faces, choose them, ideally some you know well or have met, and include one or two as far back as you can make eye contact with) .. Just make contact, skim to make contact with the next, skim again, etc and back and forth throughout. This brings the size of the audience down .. and you'll be talking to one person at a time in a small group of 10 (and you know you're comfortable with that). Remember, you can only ever really talk to one person at a time, even when there are hundreds in front of you, and we can all talk to one person. I've spoken to a crowd of 3000 at a conference, but all the time kept in my head that they were a group of individuals, and I could only talk to one at a time :) It's always good to start with a question to which the answer is clearly Yes .. rhetorical, and that people can readily can agree with .. Look round the room as you're asking it. Some will always smile and nod .. make them the target group for eye contact to begin with; you can add any others you see smiling as you're speaking and spot them during your sweeps of the room. Have a great time :) Caryl Caryl

18 Aug 2010, 15:33	#4
suzieq Mega Loafer Join Date: 26.10.2008 Location: West Palm Beach, Florida Posts: 2,319	Caryl's ideas are much better! Go with that.

18 Aug 2010, 15:39	#5
AndyK Relentless Join Date: 21.11.2003 Location: Over the top..... seeing what's on the other side Posts: 18,694	In a past life I worked for a video production company and spent about 4 years of my life filming wedding videos every Saturday. I've seen every type of best man's speech there is, from the sublime to the ridiculous. No matter how nervious you are all the guests will be rooting for you. Don't drink too much before the speech (save that till after you've finished), plan it out and keep your key notes on a handy card or two. Most of all don't go on too long, short and to the point is best!

18 Aug 2010, 17:55	#6
24K Mega Loafer Join Date: 20.10.2003 Location: WAY UP NORTH Posts: 1,923	I must say i was impressed by my hubbys best man, he was funny without being too over the top ! My dad was a nervous wreck cos of having to do a speech. But he was great, kept it simple and he didn't drink too much ! LOL.. that was many moons ago !

18 Aug 2010, 19:56	#7
Cherry.Loaf Los Angeloser Join Date: 02.04.2010 Location: Bristol Posts: 1,072	whenever I've had to perform I just focus on something or someone and speak directly to/at them

18 Aug 2010, 21:56	#8
Couch Potato DrumBum Join Date: 27.09.2006 Posts: 342	Mate, I did this last year for my best mate, Ive played infront of 300-4000 ppl, and I dont want to put you off, this was the most nerve rackin thing I ever did. All I can say is, write something from the heart, throw in some jokes, stories (if I can find my speech, I will send you a copy if you like). Just enjoy it, it will be over quicker than you think, but remember not to put anything offensive in or rude, some grannies get really ofended, as do others, as rude/blue material. All the best Rich

18 Aug 2010, 22:21	#9
The Flying Mouse Armed ba$tard and Jo's other half. Join Date: 06.08.2002 Location: In the middle of nowhere near the end of the line. Posts: 16,104	I had to give a eulogy at my great auntie's funeral a while back, and I have to agree with CP, public speaking can be more nerve racking than performing, because you have your performance to hide behind (if that makes sense). But if you stay relaxed, you'll be fine. My tips (some of which have been posted)..... Don't make it too long. Balance between funny and heartfelt is good. PRACTICE. Practise some more.Try saying the speech different ways. Read the speech to someone to see what they think. (hell, post it on here if you want an honest opinion). When you are up there, take your time. The wedding reception isn't going to continue until you are good and ready. Pause for breath when you need it, don't garble it out in a flood to get it over and done with. Most people sympathise with the public speaker and appreciate how hard it is to make a speech.They are on your side so don't panic. Have fun, and bag yourself a bridesmaid

20 Aug 2010, 05:07	#10
Meat Redfish Loafer Join Date: 10.01.2007 Location: Posts: 96	Happy Dayz!! cheeeers for the advice guys! (and girls) all noted, just under half done. :)

20 Aug 2010, 15:09	#11
Couch Potato DrumBum Join Date: 27.09.2006 Posts: 342	Good luck with it mate, I tried some sites to get ideas, did not copy them, just to get ideas. Let us know how it goes :)