10 Sep 2006, 16:40
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#1 |
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Armed ba$tard and Jo's other half.
 Join Date: 06.08.2002
Location:
 In the middle of nowhere near the end of the line.
Posts: 16,104
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More Real Quiz show answers.
 Some of these had me in stitches  UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE Bamber Gascoigne: What was Ghandi's first name? Contestant: Goosey, Goosey? THE WEAKEST LINK Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet? Contestant: Jool carriageway. Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius? Contestant: Bombay. Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes? Contestant: Crocodiles. Anne Robinson: Wh...? Contestant (interrupting): Pass! Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling entertainers or chocolate salesmen? Contestant: Chocolate salesmen. Anne Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...? Contestant: (long pause) Joe? Anne Robinson: Who was a famous Indian leader, whose name begins with G, revered by millions, who was assassinated and received a state funeral? Contestant: Geronimo! NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SET Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.? Contestant: William Shakespeare. CHRIS SEARLE SHOW, BBC BRISTOL Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna? Caller: Japan. Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again. Caller: Er... Mexico? FAMILY FORTUNES 1) Something a blind man might use? - A Sword 2) A song with the word Moon in the title? - Blue Suede Moon 3) Name the capital of France? - F 4) Name a bird with a long Neck? - Naomi Campbell 5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? - A burglar 6) Where is the Taj Mahal? - Opposite the Dental Hospital 7) What is ******'s first name? - Heil  A famous Scotsman? - Jock9) Some famous brothers? - Bonnie and Clyde. 10) A dangerous race? - The Arabs 11) Something that floats in a bath? - Water 12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? - A horse 13) Something you wear on a beach? - A deckchair 14) A famous Royal? - Mail 15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? - A bicycle with wings 16) A famous bridge? - The Bridge Over Troubled Waters 17) Something a cat does? - Goes to the toilet 1 Something you do in the bathroom? - Decorate19) A method of securing your home? - Put the kettle on 20) Something associated with pigs? - The Police 21) A sign of the Zodiac? - April 22) Something people might be allergic to? - Skiing 23) Something you do before you go to bed? - Sleep 24) Something you put on walls? - A roof 25) Something slippery? - A conman 26) A kind of ache? - A fillet of fish 27) A jacket potato topping? - Jam 2 A food that can be brown or white? - A potato29) Something sold by gypsies? - Bananas 30) Something red? - My sweater RADIO LINCS PHONE-IN Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world? Contestant: Barcelona. Presenter: I was really after the name of a country. Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain. STEVE WRIGHT SHOW, RADIO 2 Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube? Contestant: India. Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway? Contestant: Espresso. Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney. Contestant: Sydney. THIS MORNING Judy Finnegan: The American TV show 'The Sopranos' is about opera. True or false? Contestant: True? Judy Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show,so I'll give you that. BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last? Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days. BOB HOPE BIRTHDAY QUIZ, LBC Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons? Contestant: Four BBC GMR, PHIL WOOD SHOW Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible? Contestant: Er.. Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor... Contestant: Blimey? Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run... Contestant: (Silence) Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I... Contestant: Walked? DARYL'S DRIVETIME, VIRGIN RADIO Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels? Contestant: Holland? Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet. Contestant: Iceland? Ireland? Daryl Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel? Contestant: No |
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10 Sep 2006, 16:44
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#2 |
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Mega Loafer
Join Date: 28.03.2006
Location:
 And you think you're down under???
Posts: 26,252
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Well, that certainly is FUNNY..haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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10 Sep 2006, 16:51
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#3 |
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No Day But Today
Join Date: 29.05.2006
Location:
 Sitting on the steps outside looking so restless and reckless and lost!
Posts: 9,089
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Contestans are stupid but have you heard this one... PRESENTER: Are you peckish? BLOKE: No I'm Turkish! !!!!
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10 Sep 2006, 17:11
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#4 |
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Mega Loafer
Join Date: 26.11.2005
Location:
Posts: 1,530
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Had me in fits of Laughter!
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10 Sep 2006, 17:13
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#5 |
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The German
Join Date: 11.03.2006
Location:
 some kind of hunting lodge for rich weirdos...
Posts: 15,778
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Naomi Campbell!!
how about that: Presenter: What´s the name of the bobbles cheerleaders are waving with? Contestant: Tampons |
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10 Sep 2006, 18:58
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#6 |
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Ooh weee ooOOoh!
 Join Date: 14.04.2002
Location:
In the Land of the Manc's
Posts: 445
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Lol, hit-ler is ******'d out
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10 Sep 2006, 19:25
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#7 |
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Mega Loafer
Join Date: 19.03.2003
Location:
Kent, England
Posts: 4,163
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some people!! lol
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10 Sep 2006, 19:25
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#8 |
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On the other hand, You have different fingers
Join Date: 17.05.2006
Location:
 Belfast
Posts: 8,833
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