Hi, Everyone I am Kinda Back

BadAttitude · 22 Aug 2004, 06:28

Hi, I am kinda back in the sense that I miss everyone and had to check in the first time in what seems like forever. Life is still very crazy for me I moved from living in the boondocks to living in Tampa, Florida three weeks ago so that I could be closer to college I am in my last year before I graduate. I changed majors last term but will still be able to graduate in May, 2005 if I take 5 classes this term and them 5 classes next term.
The week after I moved into my new apartment my mother who is 78 years old had 5 mini strokes she gets out of the hospital after a few days and then goes back into the hospital with kidney failure. The day of my 48th birthday which was August 9th, I receive a call that my mother is dying and if I want to see her one last time that I better leave or she will be dead before I get there as I am 13 hours away from her in North Carolina. I drove thirteen hours straight to get to her as I did not have the money for plane tickets after just moving. When I get there my mom looks really bad I cried my eyes out seeing her in this shape. After a few days in ICU the doctors say that she will not die, I am releived but they tell me that it is just a matter of time that she is not going to get any better and that she is in renal failure. I had to leave and go back home after staying with her a week at the hospital, she is still in the hospital she had to have a catherator to drain the urine as she can not no longer urinate on her own because of the kidney failure. My life is crazy right know one minute I tell myself that she is old and has lived her life and that when her time comes I will have to deal with it and then the next I break down crying as I don't want my mom to die. During all this my husband walked out on me twice since he has post duramatic stress symdrome and borderline personality he can not deal with stress and such it is easier for him to walk away from problems rather then to solve them. And I am trying to get ready to start five new classes in college in two days so that I can get my B.A degree in Classics Roman/Greek. Life is definetly not being kind to me as of late. If it wasn't for Meat's music and my love of my daughter and my cat little Meat Loaf I think that I would go insane.
I have missed everyone and I am so sorry to read of Vee's passing, I guess all angels must go to heaven.
I am not Christan and I pray in the ways of my people as I am Native American but I would appericate any prayers from any faith or beleif if you see fit to do so. For me that I can make it through all that is being thrown my way and for my mom.
Love
Autumn (BadAttitude)

Eva · 22 Aug 2004, 11:11

I'm so sorry for you and I send you a big hug and a belated Happy Birthday!!
Love,
Eva

dottie · 22 Aug 2004, 15:05

Humankind has not woven the web of life,
We are but one thread within it,
Whatever we do to the web we do ourselves,
All things are bound together
All things connect..

Chief Seattle

Bless you and may you find peace of mind and the strength to help you through this dark period of your life Bad Attitude..........

sherrie87 · 22 Aug 2004, 15:19

Autumn,

I am glad to see you back here, but I am so sorry to hear that you are having such a dark time right now. As you know, I am in Largo- what part of Tampa did you move to? If you can, drop in here every once in a while- as you can see there are friends here who only wish you the best.

Sherrie

Emily · 22 Aug 2004, 15:20

I am so sorry to hear about your mother.

xxx
Emily

BadAttitude · 22 Aug 2004, 20:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by sherrie87

Autumn,

I am glad to see you back here, but I am so sorry to hear that you are having such a dark time right now. As you know, I am in Largo- what part of Tampa did you move to? If you can, drop in here every once in a while- as you can see there are friends here who only wish you the best.

Sherrie

Hi, Sherrie, Eva, Dottie, and Emily
Thank you for your thoghts and prayers. I know that I have friends here and have hated being away for so long and have missed you all.
Sherrie I moved to within 1 mile of the USF campus so that when my car dies which will be soon I am afraid I will still be able to get to classes with out much trouble.
Life is crazy for me right know and more then ever I need Meat's music it seem that when life gets the crazyest for me I all fall back on Meat's music more then ever. I have alway known in my heart that my mom would die one day but knowing and dealing with the real thing is entirely different, I am not ready for her to die but then again we don't get to chose do we.
I called and talked to her doctors to day and they are going to let her come home tomorow to my neices in North Carolina with nursing care as they say that they can not do nothing for her kidney failure and she wants to come home. She has very bad diabetics which is what caused the kidney failure, she had been a diabetic for the last 30 years and it has always been really hard to control her sugar levels but within the last 1 year her pancereas quite working all togeather and that is what has made her sugar levels uncontroable and caused the renal failure.
Thanks to everyone who has repilied and those that have us in your prayers. As far as I am concerned heaven can wait for another angel and leave my mom here a while longer.
Love
Autumn (BadAttitude)

angel eyes · 25 Aug 2004, 03:00

Sorry to hear of the bad time you have been having lately. It doesn't matter how old you are or how old your parents are it is a very difficult road to travel even if it is expected. I will certainly pray that things will improve for you and that you are given the strength to cope with what ever you have to.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Love
Angelxxx

Bren · 30 Aug 2004, 11:22

good to hear from you Bad Attitude, and to see you here again
so sorry to hear about your mother, may you find the strength to get through this difficult time
thinking of you
Bren

BadAttitude · 30 Aug 2004, 14:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bren

good to hear from you Bad Attitude, and to see you here again
so sorry to hear about your mother, may you find the strength to get through this difficult time
thinking of you
Bren

Hi Bren,
Thank you ofr your words of kindness I do appericate them more then you will ever know. And thanks to everyone who has been kindness to respond to my email.
And update, my mother went into renal failure again last Thursday, her kidneys shut down and her bllod pressure bottomed out to 50/39 she again was as deaths door. Due to lack of funding and the fact taht my car has now bit the dust and I have no transportation I was not able to go and see her. But by some devine intervetnion she pulled throught again the doctors were able to bring her back. It seems that she had a kidney infection and the infection over burdened her kidney and that in turn shut her kidneys down and made her blood pressure bottom out. They have the infection under control know and her blood pressure is stable once again. She says that she is not ready to die and wants to be around to watch me graduate in May, 2005 from college. She has her mind and realizes all waht is going on and her condition and she is fighting this with all that she has.
For those that are praying for her please continue to pray for her again I do not care of what religious faith you are as I am not of the christian faith and practice my native american beleifs.
Thanks, everyone and I hope this finds you and yours happy and well.
Autumn (BadAttitude)

Bren · 30 Aug 2004, 18:37

it is good that your mother has the strength of spirit, and courage to go on fighting and not give up
you will be in my thoughts and prayers
Bren

mariella · 31 Aug 2004, 23:52

Dear Autumn,

I just send you a pm...will think of you my friend!

With all my love,

Mariella

22 Aug 2004, 06:28	#1
BadAttitude Super Loafer Join Date: 19.11.2003 Location: Florida Posts: 482	Hi, Everyone I am Kinda Back Hi, I am kinda back in the sense that I miss everyone and had to check in the first time in what seems like forever. Life is still very crazy for me I moved from living in the boondocks to living in Tampa, Florida three weeks ago so that I could be closer to college I am in my last year before I graduate. I changed majors last term but will still be able to graduate in May, 2005 if I take 5 classes this term and them 5 classes next term. The week after I moved into my new apartment my mother who is 78 years old had 5 mini strokes she gets out of the hospital after a few days and then goes back into the hospital with kidney failure. The day of my 48th birthday which was August 9th, I receive a call that my mother is dying and if I want to see her one last time that I better leave or she will be dead before I get there as I am 13 hours away from her in North Carolina. I drove thirteen hours straight to get to her as I did not have the money for plane tickets after just moving. When I get there my mom looks really bad I cried my eyes out seeing her in this shape. After a few days in ICU the doctors say that she will not die, I am releived but they tell me that it is just a matter of time that she is not going to get any better and that she is in renal failure. I had to leave and go back home after staying with her a week at the hospital, she is still in the hospital she had to have a catherator to drain the urine as she can not no longer urinate on her own because of the kidney failure. My life is crazy right know one minute I tell myself that she is old and has lived her life and that when her time comes I will have to deal with it and then the next I break down crying as I don't want my mom to die. During all this my husband walked out on me twice since he has post duramatic stress symdrome and borderline personality he can not deal with stress and such it is easier for him to walk away from problems rather then to solve them. And I am trying to get ready to start five new classes in college in two days so that I can get my B.A degree in Classics Roman/Greek. Life is definetly not being kind to me as of late. If it wasn't for Meat's music and my love of my daughter and my cat little Meat Loaf I think that I would go insane. I have missed everyone and I am so sorry to read of Vee's passing, I guess all angels must go to heaven. I am not Christan and I pray in the ways of my people as I am Native American but I would appericate any prayers from any faith or beleif if you see fit to do so. For me that I can make it through all that is being thrown my way and for my mom. Love Autumn (BadAttitude)

22 Aug 2004, 11:11	#2
Eva friend Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Posts: 1,788	I'm so sorry for you and I send you a big hug and a belated Happy Birthday!! Love, Eva

22 Aug 2004, 15:05	#3
dottie queen post- whore extraordinaire Join Date: 29.01.2003 Location: Still Rockin' at "72" Posts: 13,181	Humankind has not woven the web of life, We are but one thread within it, Whatever we do to the web we do ourselves, All things are bound together All things connect.. Chief Seattle Bless you and may you find peace of mind and the strength to help you through this dark period of your life Bad Attitude..........

22 Aug 2004, 15:19	#4
sherrie87 Mega Loafer Join Date: 20.02.2003 Location: Largo, FL Posts: 1,262	Autumn, I am glad to see you back here, but I am so sorry to hear that you are having such a dark time right now. As you know, I am in Largo- what part of Tampa did you move to? If you can, drop in here every once in a while- as you can see there are friends here who only wish you the best. Sherrie

22 Aug 2004, 15:20	#5
Emily Mega Loafer Join Date: 28.12.2003 Location: N.I Posts: 1,085	I am so sorry to hear about your mother. xxx Emily

25 Aug 2004, 03:00	#7
angel eyes Senior Loafer Join Date: 18.11.2003 Location: North East Posts: 183	Sorry to hear of the bad time you have been having lately. It doesn't matter how old you are or how old your parents are it is a very difficult road to travel even if it is expected. I will certainly pray that things will improve for you and that you are given the strength to cope with what ever you have to. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Love Angelxxx

30 Aug 2004, 11:22	#8
Bren The Bat Join Date: 23.03.2003 Location: Roosting on a Silver-Black Phantom Bike. Posts: 10,017	good to hear from you Bad Attitude, and to see you here again so sorry to hear about your mother, may you find the strength to get through this difficult time thinking of you Bren

30 Aug 2004, 18:37	#10
Bren The Bat Join Date: 23.03.2003 Location: Roosting on a Silver-Black Phantom Bike. Posts: 10,017	it is good that your mother has the strength of spirit, and courage to go on fighting and not give up you will be in my thoughts and prayers Bren

31 Aug 2004, 23:52	#11
mariella Mega Loafer Join Date: 04.02.2003 Location: Holland Posts: 4,063	Dear Autumn, I just send you a pm...will think of you my friend! With all my love, Mariella