26 Jun 2008, 04:08
|
#1 |
|
No Day But Today
 Join Date: 29.05.2006
Location:
 Sitting on the steps outside looking so restless and reckless and lost!
Posts: 9,089
|
Best Divorce letters ever !
Dear wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever ! the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving a way to West Virginia together! Have a great lif e! Dear Ex-Husband Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & ; I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.  Brilliant !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
|
|
|
26 Jun 2008, 05:08
|
#2 |
|
Junior Loafer
 Join Date: 14.06.2008
Location:
 Austin, TX
Posts: 39
|
|
|
|
|
|
26 Jun 2008, 10:32
|
#3 |
|
Nutty Tart From Hell
Join Date: 25.05.2007
Location:
 liverpool
Posts: 8,390
|
Thats great..poetic justice..lol
|
|
|
|
|
26 Jun 2008, 10:50
|
#4 |
|
Mega Loafer
Join Date: 15.09.2003
Location:
Maidstone. England
Posts: 1,378
|
They are brilliant x
|
|
|
|
|
26 Jun 2008, 10:56
|
#5 |
|
Nutty Tart From Hell
Join Date: 25.05.2007
Location:
liverpool
Posts: 8,390
|
She should of bought him a cheap pair of boxers and a prok chop and sent it through the post to him ..lol
|
|
|
|
|
04 Jul 2008, 09:41
|
#6 |
|
Mega Loafer
Join Date: 13.10.2003
Location:
 Grinning, Ducking & Running
Posts: 3,668
|
That saved my day, thanks. 
|
|
|
|
|
04 Jul 2008, 14:27
|
#7 |
|
"Most things that i worry about, never happen anyway"
Join Date: 29.11.2003
Location:
Liverpool
Posts: 5,356
|
funny
|
|
|
|
|
05 Jul 2008, 16:08
|
#8 |
|
Sweet But Sadistic
Join Date: 18.06.2003
Location: Lincolnshire/Essex depending on the time of year!
Posts: 4,098
|
Loving it, if only everything s*** in life worked out this way!
|
|
|
|
|
06 Jul 2008, 20:40
|
#9 |
|
Armed ba$tard and Jo's other half.
Join Date: 06.08.2002
Location:
In the middle of nowhere near the end of the line.
Posts: 16,104
|
 Shouldn't this be in the jokes thread?  Oh screw it 
|
|
|
|
