Things not to say to a police officer ...
 

Here, you can finish this beer for me ... I've got five more! :p

So what that I was driving with a speed limit of 90 MPH...YOU were driving much faster!!!

What? Speed limit of 50mph?
Yeah sure, for each passenger! And I´ve got two of them!

Can I hold your gun while you're writing up that ticket?

I'm BTK

Why do you want me to blow into the bag - are your chips too hot!!!!????

Does your head go all the way to the top of that hat???

Is that your truncheon or are you just pleased to see me?????

Is it a real emergency or are you late for your tea break???

There is a certain forum member sitting over there *points* who will confirm that when detained in the capital, the best thing to say might not be a rousing rendition of "Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner"

Can I buy you a donut??? *wink wink*

So now I know who put the cont in constable

are you a fireman?

Of course I don't know what speed I was doing. How can I watch the road and the speedo when I'm this drunk?

I'm drunk?! Thank f*ck for that - I thought my steering was knackered!

My wife fell out of the car 2 miles ago? Thank goodness...I thought I went deaf!!!

Oink

can i just finish this call:cool:

Of course i don't know how fast i was going. The needle stops at 130.

Oi mate, just remember my taxes pay your salary.

And that hooker I met at the AIDS clinic said you were a nice guy.

That uniform makes your ass look really big.

Do you smell pig shite?

I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

Do u fancy a race?:shock: