The Road To Enlightenment - The Teachings Of Zen
 

Follow these sage words of wisdom and you won't go far wrong...


1. Do not walk behind me, for i may not lead. Do not walk in front of me, for i may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just F**K off and leave me alone.


2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.


3. The darkest hour is just before the dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbours milk, then now's the best time.


4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.


5. Don't be irreplacible. If you're not irriplacible, then you can't be promoted.


6. No one is listening until you fart.


7. Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else.


8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.


9. If you think that nobody cares if you are alive or dead, then try missing a couple of mortgage payments.


10. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in thier shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have thier shoes.


11. If at first you don't suceed, then skydiving is not for you.


12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.


13. If you lend someone £20, and you never see them again, it was probably a good investment.


14. Some days you are the bug. Some days you are the windshield.


15. Don't worry - it only seems kinky the first time.


16. Good judgement comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.


17. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.


18. A closed mouth gathers no foot.


19. Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.


20. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.


21. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.


22. Experience is something you don't get untill just after you need it.

My personal faves are number 15 and 20.... :roll: :twisted: :lol:

Heat, you got them right i agree. :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

You and Mrs. Mouse are absolutely right :lmao:

Re: The Road To Enlightenment - The Teachings Of Zen
 

This is so true...

So so true I didn't know you had met my inlaws!!!!


Rosie

Cute Rosie :lmao:

I have one to add - the difference between erotic and kinky.
Erotic is using a feather - kinky is using the whole chicken :roll: :roll:

Heat, you are so right, i love it!

where do you get them from! :P

This has really made my day heat! :twisted: :lmao:

So true Kitty Kat, so true :lmao:

took this into work - definately cheered everyone up - thanks

"If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs .. then perhaps you don't know what's really going on ..."

well I have n't got a clue what is going on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Rosie

Very funny ones. :lmao:

Hope more Zen rules will come soon Heat.

Always remember - He that laughs last, did not get the joke!