I need some advice!
 

Hey folks.
I aint too great right now my ex just told me he thinks hes got a girl pregnant. When i asked how long hed been going wi her he first said 6 months n then 2 weeks-thething is we were together from jan-may n have only bn split a month. I dont know what to beleive. Theres an alarm bell ringing tellin me that he has lied to me b4 and -so mad rite now. But a tiny part of me is sayin hes bn my best bud 4 7yrs n i dont want to let him go.
What would y'all do?
sorry
leeann
xx

Boot him out on his ass. How could he have been your best mate when he's been shagging around behind your back? Commitment in a relationship is a two way deal, not one way.

Pud :twisted:

Really and truely you know you can never trust him again, you are scared of being alone but in your heart you know he has to go....kick him out.

:twisted: Get rid of him.


If he can cheat on you he doesn't respect you, never mind love you.

You don't need a scumbag like that in your life.

i know you guys are right n thats the hard thing lol I mean you dont tell some1 u were going wi some1 for 6mnths n then say 2 weeks- does he honestly think i wldnt mind? /what do i tell hime tho?
Sorry for landing this in here im kinda all over the place @ the mo
hugs
leeann
xx

Hugs to you Leean, I know it's hard being cheated on, but the other guys are right - it doesn't matter how much you love him or how much you think of him as your best mate, if he's cheated on you once, you taking him back tells him he'll get away with it again...

And whatever he's going through, HE got himself into it - it's not YOUR responsibility to make him feel better for having been an a***ole...

Dump him... don't even think twice... and go and find yourself a bloke who'll appreciate you for the wonderful Meat Loaf fan that you are!

You tell him that a relationship is based on trust and although in time you may be able to forgive him, you'll never be able to forget what he's done, nor fully trust him again.

Pud :twisted:

as little as possible, people who do something like this dont deserve a full explanation.

You can still be his friend without being emotionally involved with him (speaking from personal experience) . Move on, get on with your life and just keep him as a platonic friend.

CHSIB

What for?

Because she still cares for him. He can't be trusted as a partner, but he can still make a good platonic friend. I wouldn't trust my ex as a partner, but as a friend, I'd trust him with my life.

Well, if that should be the case...I would say...take a break anyway...get over him COMPLETELY...then you can maybe become friends...

If she still cares for him...she will just be hanging in limbo trying to maintain a friendship right away...

That makes good sense.:-)

There's no trust anymore when that happens because although you'd like to deny it and say it never happened, you know it did.

What is going to happen is, he's going to use you as a fall back. When things aren't going good he calls you up, you get all excited thinking it's meant to be but all he wants to do is sow the oats.

There's plenty more genuine guys out there for whom cheating wouldn't even be a consideration to them and that they want to be with you for who you are.

As a b/f he's an idiot and as friend he's an even bigger fool for messing you around like that.

It'll take time and seem hard but we've all had to do it and however long it takes to find someone else you'll be better off, believe me.


Doctor Phil signing off :D

Oh how do I know what you mean Jan! My ex-husband and I are at last the friends we should have stayed without complicating it with marriage and kids!

Finish it now, but stay friends .... ex's make the best friends, because you know where you stand with them!!

I have an ex as a friend now; but to get to that friendship, after he had left our relationship for someone else, we had to be completely out of each other's lives for over two years, and he had had to make a major change in his (other problems). Now, we have a great friendship, which is much better than when we were a pair, a status I would never trust again. So, think complete separation for now; see what happens in a year or two - enough time to see everything clearly.

Once a cheater always a cheater !
If he can do this then personally he should not be given the time of day, your worth a whole lot more than that and I hate to say this but by staying with him you are being a doormat, he sees that he still has you to come back to so sees no harm in what he's doing, be strong tell him it's over as you can no longer trust him and then rebuild your life without him in it though that may be hard to start with it'll get easer then mabe see him as a friend but nothing more.

Good luck

it's interesting that women always think it's good to stay friends with each other....never really worked for me.

Basically very true, until he loses someone he really loved by her doing the same to him as he had done to others. It's amazing the pain and self-righteousness and anger that comes out of cheating guys when they are the victim of a cheating partner.
Also, eventually cheaters get older and often get too tired or too ill to chase anymore. So they either stay alone, because word has spread and no woman will trust them, or stay with a partner they don't really love, to avoid living alone. Then they can't understand why they are lonely.
Have known both kinds in my life.

Some women need an emotional crutch (different from crotch ;)) and find rejection difficult to accept. Hanging on to what they once had, to some degree, gives them a certain level of comfort knowing that they haven't been fully rejected.

Pud :twisted:

I honestly can say the same for men...it's not about gender...it's about personality and attitude to life...and, of course, certain place in time...most of us been there and done that...or will be there and will do THAT...

Still and all...at the end of the day...life goes on...

Statistically men will stray more than women and they'll find another partner quicker than a female would after a break-up. That's got to be an indicator that men (in general) can move on quicker than women and don't dwell too much on a failed relationship or the feelings of the other.

Pud :twisted:

Its also a great indicator that men cant use the washing machine!!