I need some advice!
 

Hey folks.
I aint too great right now my ex just told me he thinks hes got a girl pregnant. When i asked how long hed been going wi her he first said 6 months n then 2 weeks-thething is we were together from jan-may n have only bn split a month. I dont know what to beleive. Theres an alarm bell ringing tellin me that he has lied to me b4 and -so mad rite now. But a tiny part of me is sayin hes bn my best bud 4 7yrs n i dont want to let him go.
What would y'all do?
sorry
leeann
xx

Boot him out on his ass. How could he have been your best mate when he's been shagging around behind your back? Commitment in a relationship is a two way deal, not one way.

Pud :twisted:

Really and truely you know you can never trust him again, you are scared of being alone but in your heart you know he has to go....kick him out.

:twisted: Get rid of him.


If he can cheat on you he doesn't respect you, never mind love you.

You don't need a scumbag like that in your life.

i know you guys are right n thats the hard thing lol I mean you dont tell some1 u were going wi some1 for 6mnths n then say 2 weeks- does he honestly think i wldnt mind? /what do i tell hime tho?
Sorry for landing this in here im kinda all over the place @ the mo
hugs
leeann
xx

Hugs to you Leean, I know it's hard being cheated on, but the other guys are right - it doesn't matter how much you love him or how much you think of him as your best mate, if he's cheated on you once, you taking him back tells him he'll get away with it again...

And whatever he's going through, HE got himself into it - it's not YOUR responsibility to make him feel better for having been an a***ole...

Dump him... don't even think twice... and go and find yourself a bloke who'll appreciate you for the wonderful Meat Loaf fan that you are!

You tell him that a relationship is based on trust and although in time you may be able to forgive him, you'll never be able to forget what he's done, nor fully trust him again.

Pud :twisted:

as little as possible, people who do something like this dont deserve a full explanation.

You can still be his friend without being emotionally involved with him (speaking from personal experience) . Move on, get on with your life and just keep him as a platonic friend.

CHSIB

What for?

Because she still cares for him. He can't be trusted as a partner, but he can still make a good platonic friend. I wouldn't trust my ex as a partner, but as a friend, I'd trust him with my life.

Well, if that should be the case...I would say...take a break anyway...get over him COMPLETELY...then you can maybe become friends...

If she still cares for him...she will just be hanging in limbo trying to maintain a friendship right away...

That makes good sense.:-)

There's no trust anymore when that happens because although you'd like to deny it and say it never happened, you know it did.

What is going to happen is, he's going to use you as a fall back. When things aren't going good he calls you up, you get all excited thinking it's meant to be but all he wants to do is sow the oats.

There's plenty more genuine guys out there for whom cheating wouldn't even be a consideration to them and that they want to be with you for who you are.

As a b/f he's an idiot and as friend he's an even bigger fool for messing you around like that.

It'll take time and seem hard but we've all had to do it and however long it takes to find someone else you'll be better off, believe me.


Doctor Phil signing off :D

Oh how do I know what you mean Jan! My ex-husband and I are at last the friends we should have stayed without complicating it with marriage and kids!

Finish it now, but stay friends .... ex's make the best friends, because you know where you stand with them!!

I have an ex as a friend now; but to get to that friendship, after he had left our relationship for someone else, we had to be completely out of each other's lives for over two years, and he had had to make a major change in his (other problems). Now, we have a great friendship, which is much better than when we were a pair, a status I would never trust again. So, think complete separation for now; see what happens in a year or two - enough time to see everything clearly.

Once a cheater always a cheater !
If he can do this then personally he should not be given the time of day, your worth a whole lot more than that and I hate to say this but by staying with him you are being a doormat, he sees that he still has you to come back to so sees no harm in what he's doing, be strong tell him it's over as you can no longer trust him and then rebuild your life without him in it though that may be hard to start with it'll get easer then mabe see him as a friend but nothing more.

Good luck

it's interesting that women always think it's good to stay friends with each other....never really worked for me.

Basically very true, until he loses someone he really loved by her doing the same to him as he had done to others. It's amazing the pain and self-righteousness and anger that comes out of cheating guys when they are the victim of a cheating partner.
Also, eventually cheaters get older and often get too tired or too ill to chase anymore. So they either stay alone, because word has spread and no woman will trust them, or stay with a partner they don't really love, to avoid living alone. Then they can't understand why they are lonely.
Have known both kinds in my life.

Some women need an emotional crutch (different from crotch ;)) and find rejection difficult to accept. Hanging on to what they once had, to some degree, gives them a certain level of comfort knowing that they haven't been fully rejected.

Pud :twisted:

I honestly can say the same for men...it's not about gender...it's about personality and attitude to life...and, of course, certain place in time...most of us been there and done that...or will be there and will do THAT...

Still and all...at the end of the day...life goes on...

Statistically men will stray more than women and they'll find another partner quicker than a female would after a break-up. That's got to be an indicator that men (in general) can move on quicker than women and don't dwell too much on a failed relationship or the feelings of the other.

Pud :twisted:

Its also a great indicator that men cant use the washing machine!!

And they are also probably the ones that compile statistical facts...:lmao:

.....but I wont do THAT :whistle: :))

:lmao:

Hey folks
Thank you! As of today i have realised that he was with her the full time he was with me and tbh theres only so much hurt i can take from one guy. Looking back it would explain alot of things. Part of me wants to delete his number and forget i ever knew him but part of still wnats to hold on to what left of some unusual friendship but i guess that doing so would hurt even more. When we were split we had very little contact and i was back to being my gd old self- when all this came up i burst into tears n dont understand why. SO now im walking with a lot of anger, questions and resentment. Im confused and wish i could believe hiom but i cant!
Hugs
leeann
xx

And this too shall pass...

It will get better...trust me...no contact whatsoever will help even better...

New love will do wonders...there is no better cure for love than a new love!!!

mszee is absolutely right - a new love will work wonders!!! One day soon you'll be able to be friends with him and then you'll wonder what you actually ever saw in him, but for now it'll hurt like hell!!!

update!! After constantly arguin for the past 2days last nite he called and his number is no longer in my phone. He told me to forget all about him and not contact ever so i asked him to do the same. Although losing him has upset me im taking this time to make a new strat in my life- im looking for new work, starting college in sept, kicking my butt into gear regarding my own happiness and trying to improve home relationships. Im only18 and im making a fresh start without the stress of chris!!! Yay! Thank you all for helping me so much these past few days!
hugs
leeann

Congratuations hun !

Here's wishing you all the best with your brand new life :)).

Sounds like things turned out for a better...good luck!!!

Cheers hun
hugs
leeann
xx

I think losing a leg would upset me more, but then I'd have comfort in knowing I can have a replacement plastic leg. Perhaps you should get yourself a replacement plastic (or rubber) bloke, low maintenance, don't argue back and you can stuff it in your wardrobe when you get a bit bored.

Pud :twisted:

Coin-operated boy.... great song... not to mention brilliant idea. :D

great idea lol. Saw himw today in passing- looked at the ground n cried but i think that was jjust coz i hadnt had enuff time to sort my head out lol
Got my eye on another guy who goes to some healthy eating thing but thurs. is my last chance to actually speak to him n see if he wants to go for a drink or sumthing
Any tips?
hugs
leeann
xx

Just go for it!! The worst thing that can happen is he says no but if you dont ask you'll be regretting it for ages!! Dont take it too seriously tho cos this will be your rebound date and they rarely work out but they can be great fun!!!

will keep that in mind hun:)
hugs
leeann
xx

Just do it...

now why did that just bring meat loaf to mind mszee lol Your right just gotta go for it. You never know if u dont ask lol

Well, that's what Meat would do...and Brian Boetano...:lmao:

:mrgreen:

Very true..

Did you speak to him? I'm dying to know!!!

Boy, you're one heck of a curious George!!! :lmao:

I know i'm a gemini its our nature!!

Not really....every Gemini I ever knew wasn't in the least curious...but then again...they were all men...:lmao:

And i absolutely hate it when people know gossip that i dont know!!!

Let's get off this thread...but as this forum is concerned...you've come to the right place...:lmao:

Ok but i really hope Leeann went for it cos having fun really does help!!!

ok final update- didnt speak coz he wasnt there- it was just his mum n granny that turned up lol. Never mind:)
hugs
leeann
xx

Never mind hun there'll be another one along soon!! Just keep looking

There is always that next time, of course...