View Full Version : An Incredible Day, that never ended.
Well this is a story called, "An Incredible Day, that never ended." I start a line, and someone who reads my line, then posts another sentence, that doesn't have to completely go with the story. It has to make a little sence. So an example would be.....
RSG Says:
One day, I was walking down the road and....
Darti Says:
and I saw Santa Claus!
The story will continue with further participation. Please reply, I'd love to see where this will end up. The first line is....
The Incredible Day (That Never Ended)
I woke up this morning knowing something really incredible was going to happen today.
...my heart was soaring, and my mood was happy...
walked down the stairs and made some coffee
...humming to myself, my mind turning over the events of the previous evening...
The Flying Mouse
17 Oct 2003, 11:00
Just to be on the safe side,I checked the Product Liability & Warning Labels thread in the Off Topic section to make sure I hadn't goofed 8O .It looked like i'd gotten away with it,or had I........
djeeeeez...what's that outside? is that an UFO or what????
No its the girl you kissed last night
damn, she's ugly. i must have been really really drunk.
Suddenly the telephone rang
Um my post disappeared :?
Brrr Brrr
...i reached to answer the phone, but suddenly a hand reached out and stopped me....
..I screamed, it had a hairy palm..
Then i look at his face and you just won't believe what i saw
What the hell is Meat Loaf doing in my living room?
shadow1000001
17 Oct 2003, 16:04
I almost passed out from the shock :!:
He was yelling to me: don't you ever ever stop rocking!
MBrevard
17 Oct 2003, 16:23
But something was terribly wrong, because, as I reached out to touch his shoulder, my hand went right through his body!!!
I felt a cold chill go through me.
shadow1000001
17 Oct 2003, 19:37
I was terrified :!:
suddenly there was a noise in the kitchen.....
Kitty Kat
17 Oct 2003, 20:26
a loud scratching sound coming from under the floor
MBrevard
17 Oct 2003, 21:51
I turned in Meat's direction and couldn't believe my eyes as I watched him slowly fade away--what was happening here??!!
...suddenly i remembered that the phone was still ringing....
shadow1000001
18 Oct 2003, 08:31
I felt so dazed and confused.
MBrevard
18 Oct 2003, 09:17
I rushed to the phone, grabbed it up and yelled, "Who IS it?? Who's there??!!"
It was Meatloaf he said 'I've found a black and and white cat with weird feet (extra toes) do you know who he belongs To? he looks like he might be stoned
osie
shadow1000001
18 Oct 2003, 10:02
I was shocked. That sounded like the cat I had lost almost 7 yrs ago.
Oh no a time travelling feline a strange sound emitted from the phone line and then all went black
Rosie was it another power cut?
shadow1000001
18 Oct 2003, 10:08
I must have passed out.
When i woke up I was in a strange place a cave, with music playing
Rosie
there were drawings on the wall, had I gone back in time?
Nope - i hadn't gone back in time - it's all coing back..the strange smell from that ciggarette, the empty bottle of tequila on the table...and what was that bloke's name???
I'm tryint to remember was it Meat Pie, Bread loaf I wish I could remember and what the hell is that awful smell
Rosie
..i looked around to see who'd farted, and as i did so, the fridge door flew open....
and out fell the remains of???????????????????
Rosie
The Flying Mouse
18 Oct 2003, 17:35
:twisted: A half brained zombie biker.Whatever happened to Saturday night? he asked.......
..from behind me, someone screamed...'EDDDIIIIEEEEEEEEE'......
Your my Rock and Roll Hero :!:
shadow1000001
18 Oct 2003, 21:50
What the hell is going on here, I thought to myself.
...suddenly nad without warning...
..i woke up, in bed, my alarm clock ringing....
shadow1000001
18 Oct 2003, 23:05
What a dream!!
MBrevard
18 Oct 2003, 23:55
Or was it...as I looked over at my bedtable, I couldn't believe my eyes!!!!
..there was a set of false teeth on the table, the shower was running, and that flase leg sure as hell wasn't mine!!!!!
shadow1000001
19 Oct 2003, 04:10
I realised that I am drinking way to much now!
...suddenly, the shower stopped, and i heard someone get out.....
shadow1000001
19 Oct 2003, 09:21
I slowly turned around and saw....
he was singing and waving a chopper 'Bat of hell'
Rosie
and joined by Old Leather Face
who said.......... where did you get that.........................
Rosie
Where do you think 'you can do it when you B&Q it'
Rosie
Do they sell those lampshades made out of human skin asked Leather Face :??:
Yes sir, over by the inflatable fish stand
Rosie
See the octogenarian over there, he can help you, we are politically correct, no ageism here
I tried he's deaf !!!!!!!!!! and my sign language had me thrown out of the shop on to the pavement right in the path of!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Of Chris Eubanks Blue American truck
And everything went black
Rosie
As I recovered I became aware of...
a bright light in the distance.....................
Rosie
...and in front of the light, i could see a shadowy figure.....
with incredible make-up
Rosie
..that had obviously been applied with a trowel.....
..and this person was coming straight for me.....
OH WHAT IS THAT IN HIS HAND........
...it's soft, round and squidgy....what on earth could it be???....
,,looks more like a Burger King Whopper to me....
I knew I should gone to Specsavers!!!!
Rosie
their doing 2 for 1, now 2 outta of 3 aint bad
shadow1000001
19 Oct 2003, 21:03
I am so confused right now!
Should I Run? I was so confused, I ran towards this thing with the whopper burger and..........
and screamed I AM A VEGETARIAN
...so can i just have the cheese off it then???
shadow1000001
19 Oct 2003, 23:57
It was looking at me with a blank look in it's eyes
he'd forgotten to take his prozac
Instead of Prozac he took........Viagra!!!! 8O
..and never laid down again... :lol:
shadow1000001
21 Oct 2003, 16:21
...I didn't know what to do...
Kitty Kat
21 Oct 2003, 22:53
he took a hot bath to reduce the swelling :wink: :wink:
..but that made matters worse,and he was firmly wedged in the bath...
shadow1000001
22 Oct 2003, 08:22
Time to get the butter out :twisted:
Its got to be Flora because it is full of unpolysaturated fats she said
But unfortunately it grows bigger and bigger and the butter didnot work!
Call the Fire Brigade :!:
But how? The telephone is downstairs! And he is stuck in the bath!
quick reach for the mobile which is on the edge of the bath
He almost got it but hey! it fell in the bath!
shadow1000001
22 Oct 2003, 10:00
I dialed 911.
and nearly electrocuted himself at the same time :lol:
...a passer by, walking the dog, heard the scream.....
..and sent in the dog, which was a St. Bernard, and well used to rescuing people in tricky situations :lol:
shadow1000001
22 Oct 2003, 16:08
The dog bounded into the bathroom.
whipped off his brandy barrell and barked do you want a swig..?
The Flying Mouse
22 Oct 2003, 16:21
:twisted: Don't ask stupid questions I said as I grabbed the barrell...
..and drank the lot - hiccup
The Flying Mouse
22 Oct 2003, 16:23
:twisted: After drinking the brandy,the dog seemed oddly attractive.....
hiccup, h..e..l...p...m...e.. p..l...e..a..s..e.. he said trying so hard not to cry
shadow1000001
22 Oct 2003, 18:48
I gave my head a shake and took another swig.
..and I thought the barrell was empty said the St. Bernard..
shadow1000001
22 Oct 2003, 19:04
It is now, I replied :twisted:
..well we'd better see about removing you from this bath tub then, hadn't we..
shadow1000001
22 Oct 2003, 19:13
How are we going to do that? I ran out of ideas after the butter :twisted:
Well barked the St. Bernard, I'll grip your leg between my teeth, and pull, and you can push with all of your might
shadow1000001
22 Oct 2003, 19:19
Okay, are you ready? 1....2.....3 :!:
there was a loud slushing, slooshing, slubbery, slobbery sound
shadow1000001
22 Oct 2003, 19:24
The dog was beginning to lose his grip.
Oh my god he slipped and fell into the bath, now there were two of them stuck in the bath :lol:
shadow1000001
22 Oct 2003, 19:31
I called 911 again :D
this time he got through to the fire brigade, and a member of the group sweet answered the phone (if your ancient you'll understand this) :lol:
Send the fire brigade, send the fire brigade
shadow1000001
22 Oct 2003, 19:44
I went outside to wait for them.
(Cute Dottie :lol: )
I waited and waited, and eventually came an officer from another incident down the road, he said, "Down the road, some guy named Micheal Aday, was play this Blind Before I Stop album really loud! and there were a lot of complaints down the road.", Then right after the officer said, "Now, where's that brandy with a big grin on his face." :D
Then gasped in horror as the dog sank his teeth in to....
his balls, and screamed hey dog your supposed to be rescuing that man and his dog out of the bath, get to it
..the dog looked up at him, an evil glint in his eye....
shadow1000001
23 Oct 2003, 15:56
I was getting quite nervous. I had seen that look before :twisted:
from my mother in law. the dog looks like my mother in law!
...they even wear the same lipstick!!!...
and they had the same awfull smell and both were druling!
...best thing then, is to leave this for the wife to deal with....
..as we all know by now, women are the very foundation of our being,
Kitty Kat
23 Oct 2003, 20:15
so she hosed them both down to remove the smell and then...
then said right to it, lets get this man and his dog out of this bath...
so i went to the local DIY centre and brought.....
2 bars of carbolic soap, 6 ft of twine, and a hedgecutter
What the heck is that for?
The soap was to be used to grease the man and his dog, the twine rigged up as a pulley, so that the dog and the man could be pulled back and forth, eventually freeing them. If this wasn't successful, we though we would just cut their limbs off :lol:
or we just wait untill Viagra is not working anymore.....
.. The man shouted Oh it looks like the Viagra is wearing off, I should be able to ease myself out of bath quite soon..
He climbed out of the bath. But the dog....
well....
It just ate all the viagra pills...
..andthen the St. Bernard slipped back into the bath and got well and truly stuck,,
shadow1000001
24 Oct 2003, 20:10
Time to try the hedgecutters :twisted:
..so glad you remembered them barked the St. Bernard :lol:
...'But which bit are you gonna cut off first?' he cried..... 8O
shadow1000001
25 Oct 2003, 09:54
You didn't want to have puppies, did you? :twisted:
...Too late I've already been castrated barked the St. Bernard
..no wonder youve got a high pitched howl then...
Well thats enough about my operation, get me outta of here :!:
Rob The Badger
25 Oct 2003, 22:58
I answered and was shocked to hear the voice of God. . .booming down the phone he said "I have a question for thee. . .".
The Flying Mouse
26 Oct 2003, 02:37
Have you got any idea where I can get tickets for Meat Loaf's tour....
..Try webmaster i said - only £380 a ticket...
Kitty Kat
26 Oct 2003, 13:55
or you can try the ticket touts. they hang out at......
shadow1000001
26 Oct 2003, 20:30
"Thank You", God replied.
"You're welcome" said i, "And while you're here do you have any idea how to get a St Bernard out of a bath?"
shadow1000001
27 Oct 2003, 01:20
"Let me get back to you on that one" God replied and then hung up in my ear.
Rob The Badger
27 Oct 2003, 09:59
After placing the receiver on the handset, I noticed something shuffling in the bushes outside. . .
slowly and stealthily i made my way to.....
Rob The Badger
27 Oct 2003, 11:01
. . .the door. . .
Oh my God you never guess what I saw :!:
Kitty Kat
27 Oct 2003, 13:57
A wolf with a red rose
shadow1000001
27 Oct 2003, 15:34
"Is that for me or the Saint Bernard?" I asked.
No said the wolf it is for the huge guy with an axe right behind you.
Rob The Badger
27 Oct 2003, 17:27
I kiss the axeman and give him the rose
Then the axeman said "let me see, if we use the axe to....
trim the stalk on the rose, it'll fit that vase nicely......
:lol:
AH!said the axeman, if we shatter the vase, we can use a shard of glass, to free the St Bernard, by cutting through the rope which is holding him,
careful now said the axeman, gently moving to and fro...
then he slipped on a bannana skin he hadn't noticed on the floor and.....
...did a somersault in mid-air and...
landed on a very suprised.....
Rob The Badger
27 Oct 2003, 21:55
. . .Gnome who happened to be traveling by. . .
shadow1000001
27 Oct 2003, 21:59
...carrying a big stick...
...and a ticket for....
sorry edited 'cos shadow got there first
where he was attending the annual general meeting of....
Rob The Badger
27 Oct 2003, 22:17
. . .Fairytale Characters Anonymous. . .
"i'll be late now" he said sighing and.....
Rob The Badger
27 Oct 2003, 22:30
...grunting and huffing about a white rabbit who just skipped by. . .
dusting himself down and still muttering, he hastened towards the....
shadow1000001
28 Oct 2003, 08:41
...the choo-choo train... :D
and who should be on board but Noddy and Big Ears
shadow1000001
28 Oct 2003, 15:33
The gnome was beside himself with joy.
he'd been meaning to get even with Big Ears for ages.....
shadow1000001
28 Oct 2003, 18:22
Maybe Noddy will help me thought the gnome.
Kitty Kat
28 Oct 2003, 20:28
But he can't do anything quietly with that damn bell on his hat so I will have to...
shadow1000001
28 Oct 2003, 20:30
...tape it to his head :twisted:
he looked away to hide the smirk on his face, then....
ran at me waving a great big...
shadow1000001
29 Oct 2003, 08:53
...jar of mayo...
Oh I'm so hungry can I have a sandwich first? Oh come to think of it couldn't we use the mayo as a lubricant to free the St. Bernard?
No, don't you ever waste ketchup and mayo. Too expensive and by the way: F*** the St. Bernard. let's get outta here.
Oh No! I am a member of the R.S.P.C.A. and if you don't help me I'll report you to Rolf Harris for animal cruelty :lol:
(Who the hell is Rolf Harris :roll: :mrgreen: ).
Okay, you're blackmailing me. Okay, fine to me. Pass me the goddamn mayo.
Right we've gotta this mixture just right,1 2 tablespoons of mayo and 10 of ketchup, mix together well, and smooth over the....
(Who the hell is Rolf Harris :roll: :mrgreen: ). Stars in a Animal Hospital programme on BBC1 in the UK, he's also an artist and singer
Okay, you're blackmailing me. Okay, fine to me. Pass me the goddamn mayo.
splish, splosh, splish, splosh, the St. Bernard started to move around, by jove I think we've done, I think we've really done it, but then....
then...oooo my god...the combination of mayo and ketchup is a disaster. The dog grows bigger and bigger and he becomes green. He's changing into the incredible Hulk! 8O
Meanwhile, back on the train...
Big Ears was just waking up from his afternoon nap. As he opened his eyes he saw......
shadow1000001
29 Oct 2003, 16:48
He shook his head wondering if he was dreaming or if this was real.
it was real! that's for sure! And the Hulk formely known as the St. Bernard was not exaclty in a good mood!
shadow1000001
29 Oct 2003, 16:55
What am I going to do now, I thought. He looks really mad at me. 8O
shaking bits of broken bathtub from his body the Hulk was running towards the train where.....
meat Loaf was waiting for the god damn train which was delayed :evil:
The Hulk skidded to a halt.....my God Meat Loaf is here. Hope this is going to be a long delay :D
shadow1000001
29 Oct 2003, 17:05
" I wonder if I could ask him for his autograph" thought the Hulk.
meat turned his head towards the Hulk formely known as St. Bernard and thought: My gosh...this guy looks like me....
:lol: :lol: The Hulk, formerly known as St Bernard, was gazing at Meat Loaf in awe. Meat said....
shadow1000001
29 Oct 2003, 18:46
"Wow, you really are huge!"
Kitty Kat
29 Oct 2003, 20:20
and my bite is much worse than my bark so
shadow1000001
29 Oct 2003, 22:06
...watch your back... :twisted:
screamed Meat to the Incredible Hulk formely known as St. Bernard!
unobserved, the gnome had finally managed to tape Noddy's bell to his head and......
...and big ears had booked in for an operation to have his ears pinned..
and Noddy was now running around in circles, a bemused expression on his face, because...
The Incredible Hulk had just kissed Meat Loaf...
This caused the Hulk to revert back to being the St Bernard, which ran off into the sunset in search of...
Noddy had gone dizzy and collapsed and Meat and Big Ears were discussing.....
Why the gnome hated Big Ears so much, it was because...
shadow1000001
30 Oct 2003, 15:36
...of something that happened to him in childhood...
that had so traumatised the gnome that he.......
shadow1000001
30 Oct 2003, 16:01
...has had a debilitating fear...
(Big Ears was the proud owner of a large collection of nodding dogs and he always carried his favouite with him).......
...and red post boxes....
that looked as if they might swallow him up as he walked past
..and they'd be all dark and black inside...
just thinking of it made the gnome quiver with fear and.......
ant.....
tici.......
pation............
shadow1000001
30 Oct 2003, 16:49
He was seriously considering going to a shrink about this :!:
So he looked one up in the telephonebook
shadow1000001
30 Oct 2003, 16:52
There were so many to choose from.
...and i reminded him that i only charge £45 an hour for the privilidge.....
EURO?
Thats about 60 Euro's...
well, forget the shrink. Too expensive, it sbetter to spend it on....
The gnome was shaking violently, his heart was beating faster, sweat was dripping from his chin and he......
..Now if only he could find his inflateable sheep.....
so he went back to the place were he was this morning
..but he still couldn't find his inflateable sheep...
So he looked under the bed and....
found his inflateable gnome instead....
Well, that'll do. So he took the inflatebale gnome outside and then
..he'd forgotten where he put his vaseline....
shadow1000001
30 Oct 2003, 17:25
so he grabbed the butter and...
...smeared it all over his...
shadow1000001
30 Oct 2003, 17:34
...inflatable gnome and his...
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