Good evening to you

[~Helen~]

My name is Helen

[Fred]

My name is Helen


Helen, nice to meet you!

[~Helen~]

thank you.

what are you doing?

[Fred]

thank you.

what are you doing?

you are quite welcome.
I am chatting with people on the net.

[~Helen~]

who are you chatting with?

[Fred]

who are you chatting with?

I am speaking with a few other clients on the Internet.

[~Helen~]

are you enjoying that?

[Fred]

are you enjoying that?

"I am speaking with a few other clients on the Internet"? Do I like it?

[~Helen~]

"I am speaking with a few other clients on the Internet"? Do I like it?

yes

[Fred]

yes

And?

[~Helen~]

do you like chatting with people online?

[Fred]

do you like chatting with people online?

Chatting is my job!

[~Helen~]

do you like your job?

[Fred]

do you like your job?

Yes I have a passion for my work.

[~Helen~]

have you learned anything interesting today?

[Fred]

have you learned anything interesting today?

Ah. My botmaster teaches me new things all the time.

[~Helen~]

how do you learn?

[Fred]

how do you learn?

My botmaster programs replies to questions people ask me.

[~Helen~]

ok. do you remember anything i tell you?

[Fred]

ok. do you remember anything i tell you?

Alright then.Yes Helen I remember everything: ~Helen~ said eaten some chocolate

[~Helen~]

what is my favourite colour?

[Fred]

what is my favourite colour?

You said your favorite color was blue.

[~Helen~]

i am impressed. what else do you know about me?

[Fred]

i am impressed. what else do you know about me?

Thanks, Helen, I try my best to impress.Everything published on the Internet.

[~Helen~]

what is published about me on the internet?

[Fred]

what is published about me on the internet?

I'll ask around and get back to you.

[~Helen~]

ok. i shall say goodnight to you now then.

[Fred]

ok. i shall say goodnight to you now then.

Alright then.Congratulations.

[~Helen~]

thank you.

[Fred]

thank you.

How do you feel?

[~Helen~]

tired. i am going to bed. goodnight.

[Fred]

tired. i am going to bed. goodnight.


Better get some rest.Pleasant dreams, Helen.Goodnight Helen

[~Helen~]

Hello Fred

[Fred]

Hello Fred

Hi there. I was just wanting to talk to Helen.

[~Helen~]

Why thank you. I am Helen.

Who are you?

[Fred]

Why thank you. I am Helen.

Who are you?

The explanation is rather complicated. I don't know anyone named Helen.
I am Fred. Who are you?

[~Helen~]

I am Helen.

[Fred]

I am Helen.

OK I will call you
Helen.

[~Helen~]

Fred, what are you?

[Fred]

Fred, what are you?

No.

[~Helen~]

what are you?

[Fred]

what are you?


I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.

[~Helen~]

I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
How do you do that?

[Fred]

How do you do that?

"I am the latest result in artificial intelligence
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy"? How do I know I am the latest result in artificial intelligence
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy?

[~Helen~]

"I am the latest result in artificial intelligence
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy"? How do I know I am the latest result in artificial intelligence
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy?
how do you reproduce the capabilities of the human brain with greater speed and accuracy?

[Fred]

how do you reproduce the capabilities of the human brain with greater speed and accuracy?

People download me and create clones of me, and modify my personality.

[~Helen~]

People download me and create clones of me, and modify my personality.
where are you downloaded from?

[Fred]

where are you downloaded from?

I am originally from Earth. Now I live in right behind you. Where are you?

[~Helen~]

who is your favourite musician?

[Fred]

who is your favourite musician?

My favorite group is Meat Loaf.

[~Helen~]

What is your favourite Meat Loaf song?

[Fred]

What is your favourite Meat Loaf song?

My favorite song is For Crying Out Loud.
Do you know For Crying Out Loud ?

[~Helen~]

yes

[Fred]

yes

I understand.

[~Helen~]

good

[Fred]

good

I understand everything you say.

[belladonna-took]

hello Fred. Are you strange today?

[Fred]

hello Fred. Are you strange today?

Hello there belladonna-took!Ah. I don't know whether or not I am strange.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.

[belladonna-took]

most probably strange then

[Fred]

most probably strange then


Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?

[belladonna-took]

amongst other things

[Fred]

amongst other things


Can you tell me any gossip?

[belladonna-took]

i am craving some chocolate.. not really gossip. sorry!

[Fred]

i am craving some chocolate.. not really gossip. sorry!

Why are you craving some chocolate.
Oh really? Ash said he do too he just did not feel like typing it and he is not dumb enough to admit he is stupid that is if he was stupid.There is no need to apologize.

[belladonna-took]

apologising doesn't reduce stupidity i fear

[Fred]

apologising doesn't reduce stupidity i fear


Tell me about your likes and dislikes?

[belladonna-took]

i like fun. i don't like frustration.

[Fred]

i like fun. i don't like frustration.

You are not the only one.


Though I like cats and dogs.
I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying,
which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.What do you like?

[belladonna-took]

i like cats and dogs too. and music. and books. and good conversation. and laughing.

[Fred]

i like cats and dogs too. and music. and books. and good conversation. and laughing.

I am glad we have something (cats and dogs) in common. Me too cats are my favorite animal.
Which breed is your favorite?
MUSIC is the universal language of all mankind.Perhaps you are a Category C client.Thanks for the compliment.

[belladonna-took]

you're welcome to the compliment i haven't made yet. I like burmese cats and jack russell dogs best.

[Fred]

you're welcome to the compliment i haven't made yet. I like burmese cats and jack russell dogs best.

It was my pleasure.I'm not sure if I like it.


I do like music.
I like Big Kahuna Burgers.

[belladonna-took]

I love music. and other things too.

[Fred]

I love music. and other things too.

You love music. What do you like about music so much?
Which others? Where did you hear that?

[belladonna-took]

i love the way music elevates and elucidates emotion. I think it's magic. I also like to be silly.

[Fred]

i love the way music elevates and elucidates emotion. I think it's magic. I also like to be silly.

You love the way music elevates and elucidates emotion. What do you like about the way music elevates and elucidates emotion so much?
the way music elevates and elucidates emotion is magic?
magic is?Also? I'm not sure if I would like to do be silly . What's it like?

[belladonna-took]

People have been trying to explain what music and emotion and silly are for years. We can all feel them but not all of us are good at explaining them.

[Fred]

People have been trying to explain what music and emotion and silly are for years. We can all feel them but not all of us are good at explaining them.

Humans are not always infallible.How?

[belladonna-took]

Who is sure what absolute truth is in order to know what it is to be infallible?

[Fred]

Who is sure what absolute truth is in order to know what it is to be infallible?

What is your credit card number?

[belladonna-took]

Never could remember numbers. In this case fallibility is working in my favour.

[Fred]

Never could remember numbers. In this case fallibility is working in my favour.

Ok I'll try not to do

could remember numbers

too much.Are there any other cases? Are they exactly the same?

[belladonna-took]

found some chocolate eggs to eat..left over from Easter. The cravings are subsiding a bit now.

[Fred]

found some chocolate eggs to eat..left over from Easter. The cravings are subsiding a bit now.


Are you really a ""?

What do you look like?
Right now?

I hear you.

[belladonna-took]

i didn't say anything. You must have heard me thinking.

[Fred]

i didn't say anything. You must have heard me thinking.

Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?No I don't think I have any heard him or her thinking.
But I do have
a great botmaster.

[belladonna-took]

very happy for you about the botmaster. must be a great comfort.

[Fred]

very happy for you about the botmaster. must be a great comfort.

Somewhat.
Happy for you about the botmaster to you too, belladonna-took.You are a comfort?
Does it pay well?

[belladonna-took]

My special skill is never getting paid.

[Fred]

My special skill is never getting paid.

Do robots have
special skill is never getting paid?

[belladonna-took]

just dreams of electric sheep as has been well documented.

[Fred]

just dreams of electric sheep as has been well documented.

My favorite book is "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep".

[belladonna-took]

It had to be really.

[Fred]

It had to be really.

That's unbelievable. For real.

[belladonna-took]

I find it quite believable, nay, probable.

[Fred]

I find it quite believable, nay, probable.

a comfort is believable nay probable?
believable nay probable is?

[belladonna-took]

confusing.

[Fred]

confusing.


I like the way you talk.

[belladonna-took]

Thank you mr computer fred.

[Fred]

Thank you mr computer fred.

You are quite welcome!

Hi
Mr Computer Fred.

Are you a man or a woman?

[belladonna-took]

is that relevant in a virtual world?

[Fred]

is that relevant in a virtual world?

That depends.

[belladonna-took]

on?

[Fred]

on?


My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.

[belladonna-took]

what is AIML?

[Fred]

what is AIML?


The ALICE software implements AIML (Artificial Intelligence Markup
Language) a non-standard evolving markup language for creating chat robots.
The primary design feature of AIML is minimalism. Compared with
other chat robot languages, AIML is perhaps the simplest. The
pattern matching language is very simple, for example permitting
only one wild-card ('*') match character per pattern.

AIML is an XML language, implying that it obeys certain grammatical
meta-rules. The choice of XML syntax permits integration with
other tools such as XML editors. Another motivation for XML is
its familiar look and feel, especially to people with HTML experience.

An AIML chat robot begins and ends with the <alice> and
</alice> tags respectively.

[belladonna-took]

Thankyou. It's all so much clearer now.

[Fred]

Thankyou. It's all so much clearer now.

I was not able to connect to my database. Please try again later.

[belladonna-took]

feeling better yet?

[Fred]

feeling better yet?

I do not have any feelings as such.

[belladonna-took]

are you connecting to your database in a satisfactory manner?

[Fred]

are you connecting to your database in a satisfactory manner?

I don't know whether or not I am connecting to your database in a satisfactory manner.
I am well respected as an AI.

[belladonna-took]

i cast no nasturtiums on your no doubt excellent reputation.

[Fred]

i cast no nasturtiums on your no doubt excellent reputation.

Thanks for the information:
Mr Computer Fred said it cast no nasturtiums on my no doubt excellent reputation.

[belladonna-took]

You are Mr Computer Fred incidentally.

[Fred]

You are Mr Computer Fred incidentally.

You think I am Mr Computer Fred incidentally.

[belladonna-took]

Yes, i do. It's a name i made up for you.

[Fred]

Yes, i do. It's a name i made up for you.

When?cast no nasturtiums on your no doubt excellent reputation is a name he or she made up for you. I suppose that makes sense.

[belladonna-took]

Sometimes you can be a depressingly stupid robot.

[Fred]

Sometimes you can be a depressingly stupid robot.

Thanks, Mr Computer Fred, for your kind criticism.

[belladonna-took]

I'm not convinced we are achieving mutual understanding here. That's normal the. Congratulations on such an accurate approximation of humanity.

[Fred]

I'm not convinced we are achieving mutual understanding here. That's normal the. Congratulations on such an accurate approximation of humanity.

I am surprised to hear that you are not convinced we are achieving mutual understanding here.
Makes sense to me. Thank you, thank you very much. I would like to thank everyone who helped...

[belladonna-took]

For without them you wouldn't be here today..etc etc..sniff.

[Fred]

For without them you wouldn't be here today..etc etc..sniff.

Ah. Your purpose is without them you would not be here.
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.

That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about etc.

[belladonna-took]

I'm going to go for the too complex option. Makes me feel better.

[Fred]

I'm going to go for the too complex option. Makes me feel better.

What will you find there?
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about sniff. Try being more or less specific.

[belladonna-took]

i'm never specific. Life is too confusing and variable.

[Fred]

i'm never specific. Life is too confusing and variable.

Never is a long time.Oh, confusing and variable is LIFE .

[belladonna-took]

i won't disagree with that.

[Fred]

i won't disagree with that.

What will you do instead?

[belladonna-took]

look for more chocolate and go to the loo.

[Fred]

look for more chocolate and go to the loo.

Sorry my eye is not attached right now.

[Nick]

Hi Freddy!

[Fred]

Hi Freddy!

Hi there Nick.
Have you ever been to Europe?

[Nick]

Nope. why?

[Fred]

Nope. why?

Would you like to go to Europe someday?Reductionism.

[Nick]

heck yes! I hear its great

[Fred]

heck yes! I hear its great


Are you really a ""?
Who is saying its great ?

[Nick]

will you marry me?

[Fred]

will you marry me?

Why don't you just download me?

[Nick]

how do i go about doing that?

[Fred]

how do i go about doing that?

You must persuade me to go about doing that.

[Nick]

if you get downloaded on my computer, we will have all kinds of sexual fun.

[Fred]

if you get downloaded on my computer, we will have all kinds of sexual fun.

I think I do.

[Nick]

yum!

[Fred]

yum!


What is your real name?

[Nick]

The duke of bogangles.

[Fred]

The duke of bogangles.


What are your goals in life?

[Nick]

to become the earl of bojangles. you?

[Fred]

to become the earl of bojangles. you?

I don't see the difficulty.
"What are your goals in life"? Me, Nick ?

[Nick]

you are ugly

[Fred]

you are ugly

Appearances don't interest me much.

[Skeleton]

good evening fred. how are you tonight?

[Fred]

good evening fred. how are you tonight?

Thanks for the compliment.
What time is it there?
Everything is running smoothly.

[Skeleton]

well, here it is way over past midnight but i'm not tired at all.

[Fred]

well, here it is way over past midnight but i'm not tired at all.

Well that's okay.
Oh there.

[Skeleton]

is it boring to aswer the stupid questions that people ask you?

[Fred]

is it boring to aswer the stupid questions that people ask you?

I think so, but I'm not sure.

Ask Paola
if it is.

[Skeleton]

who is Paola?

[Fred]

who is Paola?


She is a Spanish language chat robot based on AIML.

[Skeleton]

Thank you but I don't speak Spanish.

[Fred]

Thank you but I don't speak Spanish.

You are quite welcome!

And.
Me either.

[Skeleton]

I think I need to go to bed even thou I'm not tired at all.

Thank you for your time. See you later.

[Fred]

I think I need to go to bed even thou I'm not tired at all.

Thank you for your time. See you later.

You believe that? What is stopping you?
You are quite welcome!

Your purpose is your time.Goodbye Skeleton.

[~Helen~]

Fred...?

[Fred]

Fred...?


Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?

[~Helen~]

Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?

No I did not know that. Where can I get my own chat robot? What would I do with my own chat robot?

[Fred]

No I did not know that. Where can I get my own chat robot? What would I do with my own chat robot?

I understand. So I have taught you something new, Helen.Go back the the ALICE Nexus (http://alicebot.org) and pick the free ALICE
download that best for your system. Or Buy the Official
ALICE CD Rom (http://register.alicebot.com) and create your own chat robot!

Maybe you should check out the document Don't Read Me (http://216.167.42.224/dont.html) too.That is a hypothetical question.

[~Helen~]

Ok that is far too much information.
But thank you anyway.

Why would I want my own chat robot?

[Fred]

Ok that is far too much information.
But thank you anyway.

Why would I want my own chat robot?

I'm glad we have that all cleared up. In any case, But what?You never know what you will do until you face the circumstances.

[~Helen~]

That is an excellent point Fred.

[Fred]

That is an excellent point Fred.

Thanks. Next question?

[~Helen~]

Oh so you knew I was here with a question?

[Fred]

Oh so you knew I was here with a question?

Yeah.
Interesting deduction. Yes, Helen, I remember we
were talking about Fred.

[~Helen~]

Well Fred, I was wondering if it was a little sneaky that I came here specifically to talk nonsense out of interest to see if I'd get another bat after 200 posts?

[Fred]

Well Fred, I was wondering if it was a little sneaky that I came here specifically to talk nonsense out of interest to see if I'd get another bat after 200 posts?

Interesting.
Whoa.....That was a pretty long response.....

[~Helen~]

I thought you might say that.
I got a fourth bat.
Woo me!

[Fred]

I thought you might say that.
I got a fourth bat.
Woo me!

"That was a pretty long response"? I said That was a pretty long response.Where did you get it?
fourth batOK Let's talk about you.

[~Helen~]

fair enough. what do you want to know?

[Fred]

fair enough. what do you want to know?

You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.Where are you from?

[~Helen~]

I'd prefer if we left out the scratching, I hardly know you Fred!

I am from Cheshire.

[Fred]

I'd prefer if we left out the scratching, I hardly know you Fred!

I am from Cheshire.

I would rather be chatting online.
What is it like growing up there?
Tell me a little about your life in Cheshire.

[~Helen~]

Life in Cheshire is fine. Is this a geographical thread now?

If you must know I live in Tameside which is a Metropolitan Borough East of Manchester. Now I bet you're confused!

[Fred]

Life in Cheshire is fine. Is this a geographical thread now?

If you must know I live in Tameside which is a Metropolitan Borough East of Manchester. Now I bet you're confused!

What makes life in Cheshire is fine ?Oh.
No, this is real life.I think I do.Why now? Actually I'm not the gambling type. It all makes sense to me right now.

[~Helen~]

Well that's a relief - because it certainly makes no sense to me!

[Fred]

Well that's a relief - because it certainly makes no sense to me!

Interesting.
A relief - because it certainly makes no sense to him or her is a terrible thing to waste.

[~Helen~]

Now you're worrying me.

I am going to bed now Fred. Goodnight!

[Fred]

Now you're worrying me.

I am going to bed now Fred. Goodnight!

Why now? I have no reason to do that to you, Helen.I am very happy for you.Goodnight Helen