Post your thoughts - Page 93

Hypnobabe · 10 Feb 2006, 15:30

Wonderful.... except for the embarrassing incident yesterday where I tried to go and fill up at the petrol station only to discover I didn't have the knack of getting it on the central stand and had to spend 5 shameful minutes trying only to turn round and go home again.......

Gez · 10 Feb 2006, 21:18

.........woman drivers

Leah · 11 Feb 2006, 14:50

I'm going to see the Darkness tonight at Sheffield, looking forward to it!

dottie · 16 Feb 2006, 17:55

[QUOTE=dottie][QUOTE=dottie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by dottie

Well my quest is progressing faster than even I would have imagined...

Going down to Addlestone next week, to view and copy my childhood files, also I will have a social worker who will hopefully be able to answer any questions I might have...

And yes I have plenty of those!

What an unbelievable day have attended the Runnymede Centre in Addlestone where my childhood care records were held in the archives....

Masses of information and reports regarding myself, my sister, my brother, my parents and foster parents, and children homes that we livedi n for periods of time.

All are going to be copied and sent to me, plus some original paper work written by my father, which the case worker has agreed to let me have the originals!!!!

Found some distressing news as well, evidently had another baby sister who died when she was 28 days old from pneunomia, and we weren't ever told about this ......

Also found evidence that my mother who deserted us when I was 2 years old was certified as mentally deficient and suffering a severe form of epelipsy, and gave us up because she couldn't cope.........

Such happiness and such sadness, but now I can move forward, I also have the forms for the Salvation Army Tracing service, which I can use some of the information when it arrives to help me trace our mothers movements, and ascertain whether she is dead or alive.....

So glad that at last I have some answers.......

Its been worth the wait, and will give me the impetus to go on..........

love dottie
xxx

dottie · 16 Feb 2006, 18:13

found this and thought it was appropriate considering I am now starting on a voyage of discovery........

Foster children move from place to place,
With memories that walk the night alone,
Nor is the love theirs that they must embrace.

Yet most survive with a peculiar grace,
Even though their hearts should turn to stone,
As they move about from place to place.

Perhaps within themselves they find a place,
To furnish as they would a mobile home,
Finding scraps of things they can embrace.

A memory like some such fingered lace,
Thoughts and dreams that only they have known,
Moving as they do from place to place.

Their childhood impossible to trace,
In the years of yearning after they have grown,
Filled with love they've chosen to embrace.

Yet with their losses etched upon their face,
Pain for which no penance can atone,
How can they move and move, from place to place
Surrending the love they must embrace.

two of these lines I found to be so relevant

"Their childhood impossible to trace,
In the years of yearning after they have grown"

One could possibly argue - better late than never, to find a childhood lost so long ago........
__________________

My quest for answers has now well and truly started to unfold, happiness and sadness in fair proportions, but ultimately a link to the past so that I may move forward.........

Rockette · 17 Feb 2006, 02:39

Just found this one by Peggie Kirkland and thought of Dottie's voyage.

The expansive oceans of our lives
Are filled with seas of experiences
Trifling, important, lively, boring
Calming, frightening, safe and treacherous
But always learning and growing, growing and learning

Rock me gentle sea
Cradle me in the bosom of your tiny ripples
Let me feel at one with your seeming
Ending-never, peace and serenity
As I make my way through this day
Happy, unaware of the impending storms;
There is only peace, gentle peace

But did I speak too quickly?
What is this turbulence that has erupted?
Oh please, not now
I am, was, at one with you
Oh no, the ship of my life has tilted to one side
I think it's going to capsize
I feel it heaving with the waves
As they whip themselves into a fury
Determined to prove their omnipotence
And I one sailor trying to navigate the choppy waters
But I cannot do this alone.
I make a conscious effort to inhale the salty air
Slowly, slowly. slowly, slowly
My body goes limp and
I release the wheel and cover the compass

I realize that the direction of this ship
Is not in my hands.
I let go and let the Divine Creator take charge
And I awake yawning, stretching, rubbing my eyes
As I behold a glorious new day.

dottie · 17 Feb 2006, 12:40

spoke to my sister in Oz ,last night, and she informed me that she had known oh so many things that had happened to us, but wanted to hide them away, for fear of being hurt again, I've explained that this is something I need to do to for one, to find the burial place of my little baby sister who I never knew, find her name and leave some sort of token.

To trace my mother again, my sister informed me that she had had contact with her although fleeting so many years ago, why I don't understand didn't someone think that I might want to know?

Still I'm on the right course now, and will continue my quest no matter where it leads, with or without help from anyone around me.....

**Ankie** · 17 Feb 2006, 12:52

Thinking of you, Dottie.

Love and hugs,
Ankie Xxx

Hypnobabe · 17 Feb 2006, 18:09

Dottie, wishing you much luck with your search, hope you find everything you're looking for and it turns out to be much more than you hoped it would be x

Bren · 18 Feb 2006, 16:41

good luck with that Dottie, hope you find the answers you are looking for.
thinking of you.

djfierce · 18 Feb 2006, 16:50

good luck dottie.

Jen · 18 Feb 2006, 21:16

I'm cat-sitting this weekend for some friends who are off getting married

Wish me luck...

...hurry up monday!

Chris · 18 Feb 2006, 21:25

Poor cats

Jen · 18 Feb 2006, 21:29

Chris · 18 Feb 2006, 21:39

Jen trained the cats well over the weekend

Jen · 18 Feb 2006, 21:45

...you know me so well

Paul191 · 18 Feb 2006, 21:47

wow, that was wonderful Dottie. That was the first few posts that i have read all the way through which are not Meat related. I'm so glad your on the right track now anyway.

Gez · 21 Feb 2006, 21:00

THE SMURFS

Gez · 21 Feb 2006, 21:17

Keab42 · 22 Feb 2006, 20:51

bleah, too much work.

Caelan · 22 Feb 2006, 21:14

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ early bedtime today

Rockette · 23 Feb 2006, 03:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gerry

Now, this is one I can really relate to. Thanks, Gerry!!

georgy7856 · 27 Feb 2006, 01:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by georgy7856

Why have i made my life so difficult now because i didnt speak up and say the truth 30 years ago?

Makes it very hard to do so now

It is all okay everything is fine and all concerned are a-okay with it,,, so far so good

(then again something is bound to come along and put a spanner in the works )but that is just me thinking i am not supposed to have free flowing life and not be happy

Ageing Bat · 28 Feb 2006, 11:47

*sigh*.....bored.....*sigh*

Hypnobabe · 28 Feb 2006, 12:51

It's my wedding anniversary today - been married six years... Well officially it's the 29th of February, but that only comes round once every four years!

10 Feb 2006, 15:30	#2301
Hypnobabe mszee's Mistress with sexy goddess boots Join Date: 13.07.2005 Location: Hitting the highway like a battering ram... Posts: 7,686	Wonderful.... except for the embarrassing incident yesterday where I tried to go and fill up at the petrol station only to discover I didn't have the knack of getting it on the central stand and had to spend 5 shameful minutes trying only to turn round and go home again.......

10 Feb 2006, 21:18	#2302
Gez Knicker thief Join Date: 17.04.2003 Location: auch...not on the fence Posts: 5,633	.........woman drivers

11 Feb 2006, 14:50	#2303
Leah Mega Loafer Join Date: 03.04.2005 Location: Cleethorpes, North East coast of England Posts: 1,510	I'm going to see the Darkness tonight at Sheffield, looking forward to it!

16 Feb 2006, 18:13	#2305
dottie queen post- whore extraordinaire Join Date: 29.01.2003 Location: Still Rockin' at "72" Posts: 13,181	found this and thought it was appropriate considering I am now starting on a voyage of discovery........ Foster children move from place to place, With memories that walk the night alone, Nor is the love theirs that they must embrace. Yet most survive with a peculiar grace, Even though their hearts should turn to stone, As they move about from place to place. Perhaps within themselves they find a place, To furnish as they would a mobile home, Finding scraps of things they can embrace. A memory like some such fingered lace, Thoughts and dreams that only they have known, Moving as they do from place to place. Their childhood impossible to trace, In the years of yearning after they have grown, Filled with love they've chosen to embrace. Yet with their losses etched upon their face, Pain for which no penance can atone, How can they move and move, from place to place Surrending the love they must embrace. two of these lines I found to be so relevant "Their childhood impossible to trace, In the years of yearning after they have grown" One could possibly argue - better late than never, to find a childhood lost so long ago........ __________________ My quest for answers has now well and truly started to unfold, happiness and sadness in fair proportions, but ultimately a link to the past so that I may move forward.........

17 Feb 2006, 02:39	#2306
Rockette Mega Loafer Join Date: 10.06.2005 Location: I think! Posts: 4,805	Just found this one by Peggie Kirkland and thought of Dottie's voyage. The expansive oceans of our lives Are filled with seas of experiences Trifling, important, lively, boring Calming, frightening, safe and treacherous But always learning and growing, growing and learning Rock me gentle sea Cradle me in the bosom of your tiny ripples Let me feel at one with your seeming Ending-never, peace and serenity As I make my way through this day Happy, unaware of the impending storms; There is only peace, gentle peace But did I speak too quickly? What is this turbulence that has erupted? Oh please, not now I am, was, at one with you Oh no, the ship of my life has tilted to one side I think it's going to capsize I feel it heaving with the waves As they whip themselves into a fury Determined to prove their omnipotence And I one sailor trying to navigate the choppy waters But I cannot do this alone. I make a conscious effort to inhale the salty air Slowly, slowly. slowly, slowly My body goes limp and I release the wheel and cover the compass I realize that the direction of this ship Is not in my hands. I let go and let the Divine Creator take charge And I awake yawning, stretching, rubbing my eyes As I behold a glorious new day.

17 Feb 2006, 12:40	#2307
dottie queen post- whore extraordinaire Join Date: 29.01.2003 Location: Still Rockin' at "72" Posts: 13,181	spoke to my sister in Oz ,last night, and she informed me that she had known oh so many things that had happened to us, but wanted to hide them away, for fear of being hurt again, I've explained that this is something I need to do to for one, to find the burial place of my little baby sister who I never knew, find her name and leave some sort of token. To trace my mother again, my sister informed me that she had had contact with her although fleeting so many years ago, why I don't understand didn't someone think that I might want to know? Still I'm on the right course now, and will continue my quest no matter where it leads, with or without help from anyone around me.....

17 Feb 2006, 12:52	#2308
Ankie Office manager Join Date: 25.04.2002 Posts: 1,883	Thinking of you, Dottie. Love and hugs, Ankie Xxx

17 Feb 2006, 18:09	#2309
Hypnobabe mszee's Mistress with sexy goddess boots Join Date: 13.07.2005 Location: Hitting the highway like a battering ram... Posts: 7,686	Dottie, wishing you much luck with your search, hope you find everything you're looking for and it turns out to be much more than you hoped it would be x

18 Feb 2006, 16:41	#2310
Bren The Bat Join Date: 23.03.2003 Location: Roosting on a Silver-Black Phantom Bike. Posts: 10,017	good luck with that Dottie, hope you find the answers you are looking for. thinking of you.

18 Feb 2006, 16:50	#2311
djfierce Mega Loafer Join Date: 15.06.2005 Location: Posts: 3,596	good luck dottie.

18 Feb 2006, 21:16	#2312
Jen Arrrgh! Join Date: 01.03.2003 Location: Edinburgh Posts: 2,938	I'm cat-sitting this weekend for some friends who are off getting married Wish me luck... ...hurry up monday!

18 Feb 2006, 21:25	#2313
Chris Mega Loafer Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Somewhere in the real world. Posts: 7,527	Poor cats

18 Feb 2006, 21:29	#2314
Jen Arrrgh! Join Date: 01.03.2003 Location: Edinburgh Posts: 2,938

18 Feb 2006, 21:39	#2315
Chris Mega Loafer Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Somewhere in the real world. Posts: 7,527	Jen trained the cats well over the weekend

18 Feb 2006, 21:45	#2316
Jen Arrrgh! Join Date: 01.03.2003 Location: Edinburgh Posts: 2,938	...you know me so well

18 Feb 2006, 21:47	#2317
Paul191 Mega Loafer Join Date: 26.11.2005 Location: Posts: 1,530	wow, that was wonderful Dottie. That was the first few posts that i have read all the way through which are not Meat related. I'm so glad your on the right track now anyway.

21 Feb 2006, 21:00	#2318
Gez Knicker thief Join Date: 17.04.2003 Location: auch...not on the fence Posts: 5,633	THE SMURFS

21 Feb 2006, 21:17	#2319
Gez Knicker thief Join Date: 17.04.2003 Location: auch...not on the fence Posts: 5,633

22 Feb 2006, 20:51	#2320
Keab42 Astrophysicist At Large Join Date: 19.04.2003 Location: Beneath his dreaming tree Posts: 4,284	bleah, too much work.

22 Feb 2006, 21:14	#2321
Caelan life is one big adventure Join Date: 23.06.2005 Location: some town in Alberta called Leduc Posts: 5,550	ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ early bedtime today

28 Feb 2006, 11:47	#2324
Ageing Bat Young at heart. Slightly older in other places. Join Date: 20.11.2003 Location: Here! Posts: 1,311	sigh.....bored.....sigh

28 Feb 2006, 12:51	#2325
Hypnobabe mszee's Mistress with sexy goddess boots Join Date: 13.07.2005 Location: Hitting the highway like a battering ram... Posts: 7,686	It's my wedding anniversary today - been married six years... Well officially it's the 29th of February, but that only comes round once every four years!