That Elephant Makes Me Feel Inadequate ...

daveake · 20 Mar 2009, 17:23

Real complaints logged by a holiday company ...

A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate".

A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she’d been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the “do not disturb” sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.

"The beach was too sandy."

A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.

"Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."

"We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake."

"No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."

"It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home."

"My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

"I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller."

"The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?"

"There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners."

"We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."

"We had to queue outside with no air conditioning."

"It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

"I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite."

"I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

"It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned."

"On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."

"We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."

mszee · 20 Mar 2009, 17:47

This is ABSOLUTELY hysterical...and, unfortunately, very believable...lol

**allrevvedup** · 21 Mar 2009, 13:55

Quote:

"My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

brilliant

dant796 · 21 Mar 2009, 17:03

This is hysterical! Sadly, very very believable too - maybe because my countryman are not exactly renowned for our urbane, insightful and tactful remarks while visiting abroad ...

Here are a couple of gems I recall hearing myself while traveling in Europe with American tour groups:

In Russia, one older lady in our tour group kept asking at each shop, "Do they take money here or just rubles?"

In a bus tour of the Alps, while driving through the Austrian countryside after having left Germany, one passenger exclaimed, "Now that's what I call Barvaria!"

20 Mar 2009, 17:23	#1
daveake 200% is the new 110% Join Date: 13.03.2005 Location: Newbury Posts: 2,983	That Elephant Makes Me Feel Inadequate ... Real complaints logged by a holiday company ... A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate". A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she’d been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the “do not disturb” sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room. "The beach was too sandy." A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time. "Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women." "We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake." "No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled." "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home." "My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked." "I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller." "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?" "There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners." "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white." "We had to queue outside with no air conditioning." "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel." "I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite." "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts." "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned." "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all." "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."

20 Mar 2009, 17:47	#2
mszee Mega Loafer Join Date: 28.03.2006 Location: And you think you're down under??? Posts: 26,252	This is ABSOLUTELY hysterical...and, unfortunately, very believable...lol

21 Mar 2009, 17:03	#4
dant796 Loafer Join Date: 11.05.2006 Location: Under the bridge Posts: 79	This is hysterical! Sadly, very very believable too - maybe because my countryman are not exactly renowned for our urbane, insightful and tactful remarks while visiting abroad ... Here are a couple of gems I recall hearing myself while traveling in Europe with American tour groups: In Russia, one older lady in our tour group kept asking at each shop, "Do they take money here or just rubles?" In a bus tour of the Alps, while driving through the Austrian countryside after having left Germany, one passenger exclaimed, "Now that's what I call Barvaria!"