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Old 20 Jul 2004, 11:16   #1
Fallen Angel
Youth Gone Wild
 
Join Date: 19.09.2003
Location:  See the mad one over there....
Posts: 693
Default oppinions?

lonley tears fall on an empty pillow & memories of yesterday show. why did he leave her to face life on her own? Why did he let her go?
Now shes @ home all alone in the dark dreaming of what was & what could have been. As she dreams tears fill her eyes & the poor chld cries.

B.V: how could he know you loved him?
I've told him enough times & thought hed understand.
B.V:you say, want him back, so why did he leave u on ur own?
Thats something i'll never know as he aint gonna tell.
B.V: then just let him go!

She dries her eyes, washes her face & makes up a plan.
Shes gonna go out, find herself a man. gonna make her x feel as bad as he can.
out on town, she finds a man as sweet & as gentle as can be.
Sure enough she falls in love & the tears dry. her x is the one who starts dreaming.
finally they both realise love aint far away.

so if ur hearts broken...
dry ur eyes as love aint that far away.
hey yeah yeah, it aint htat far away. No!
dry ur eyes as love aint that far away.
(END)
thats one from this morning..what u think?
yes i have went mad!
hugs
leeann
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Old 20 Jul 2004, 11:48   #2
Rob The Badger
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The poem's good. But please don't use "@" or "x" instead of the words. It really detracts from the piece. [/grammer Nazi]
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Old 20 Jul 2004, 13:26   #3
Pudding
I'm A Prize Fight Lover...
 
Join Date: 22.10.2003
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rob The Badger
The poem's good. But please don't use "@" or "x" instead of the words. It really detracts from the piece. [/grammer Nazi]
At last something we can both agree on. it bugs me when people use 'text' shortening in everyday writing. It's lazy and Robs right it does detract from the piece.

Pud
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Old 23 Jul 2004, 13:12   #4
Fallen Angel
Youth Gone Wild
 
Join Date: 19.09.2003
Location:  See the mad one over there....
Posts: 693
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heres one from the heart:
title: to mom



spoken: walking down the street with a smile on my face but nobody knows how i really feel. most people think, im happy-go-lucky. but deep down i have a secret only i know which i wish to tell:end of spoken



she comes in late in the day with no expression in her eyes. suddenly she goes from the caring mother to the woman trying to stop me from smiling, dreaming & caring.



Why cant she understand, a child needs a helping hand?



even those who have grown.



Why cant she stop yelling at me with no valid reasons?



Maybe she thinks im stupid. and now i agree with that.



maybe i aint the adoring daughter she expected.



Who does she want me to be?



mom you know i love you but what do you expect me to do?



im sorry that im no angel & we dont see eye to eye. But i CANT be little miss perfect. unlike you!



You dont do things wrong do ya?



You dont want to follow your heart.



You think the world revolves only around you well let me tell you this: im a girl with dreams who wants to live her life. in your oppinon i cant do nothing right. its my life! people see me smiling but thats only a cover for the pain down inside. your digging your nails in, im gonna break right down the middle & you dont even know that.



Cant you understand, i wanna get away from here and live my life on my own. put all my past behind.



Mom i need you & i love you, but i have had enough. i dont wanna live like this, i dont wanna know you anymore. you've changed & you've hurt me without knowing so.



mom i love you(love you)



i gotta have you there(have you there)



but its time for me to go



goodbye oh



i'll see you some other time



in another place



goodbye(goodbye)



bye bye mama



(END)
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Old 25 Jul 2004, 20:09   #5
Gez
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