Poor poor me....

Chris · 01 Apr 2004, 11:49

was so poor growing up... If I wasn't born a boy.... I'd have had
nothing to play with.

A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody
home," I went over. Nobody was home.

During sex, my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other
night she called me from a hotel.

One day as I came home early from work ... I saw a guy jogging naked.
said to the guy... "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?"
He said, "Because you came home early,"

Its been a rough day. I got up this morning put on a shirt and a button
fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid
to go to the bathroom.

I was such an ugly kid........ When I played in the sandbox the cat kept
covering me up.

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a
radio.

I was such an ugly baby... My mother never breast fed me. She told me
that she only liked me as a friend.

I'm so ugly... My father carries around the picture... of the kid who
came with his wallet.

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my
father....... I'm very sorry....... We did everything we could...... But
he pulled through.

I'm so ugly... My mother had morning sickness....... AFTER I was born

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger
to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

Once when I was lost...... I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me
find my parents. I said to him.... "Do you think we'll ever find them?"
He said,"I don't know kid... There are so many places they can hide."

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.

I'm so ugly... I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big
I'd get.

I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look
in the mirror, I feel like throwing up; What's wrong with me?"
He said "I don't know but your eyesight is perfect."

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My
doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

KebLou · 01 Apr 2004, 11:51

Chris somewhere you should have put:

I was so ugly when my mother gave birth the docter slapped her.

Oh well that was good, hope it wasn't true.

Heli · 01 Apr 2004, 12:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by keb

Chris somewhere you should have put:

I was so ugly when my mother gave birth the docter slapped her.

Oh well that was good, hope it wasn't true.

I hope it isn't true either!

If its not then that was funny! Depressing but funny!

Keep Rocking · 01 Apr 2004, 16:40

Chris,
in what a strange kind of mood are you in today?

Those two threads of you made me smile a lot.
Yvonne

DIZZY DRUMMER · 01 Apr 2004, 17:01

Dr Chris

Thanks - I needed cheering up - That was just the tonic - I've tears (of joy) rolling down my face with laughing so much

ROFL

Gez · 02 Apr 2004, 12:29

Good ones Chris....

Were you so Ugly that your mum had to tie meat to your feet for the dog to play with you...

or.....did you have blinds on your cot

black dog · 02 Apr 2004, 15:36

Chris I love this thread. It really brightens up the day to have something to laugh at

KebLou · 02 Apr 2004, 15:56

I know what you mean, I love being able to get away and have a laugh.

01 Apr 2004, 11:49	#1
Chris Mega Loafer Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Somewhere in the real world. Posts: 7,527	Poor poor me.... was so poor growing up... If I wasn't born a boy.... I'd have had nothing to play with. A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home," I went over. Nobody was home. During sex, my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. One day as I came home early from work ... I saw a guy jogging naked. said to the guy... "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said, "Because you came home early," Its been a rough day. I got up this morning put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom. I was such an ugly kid........ When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up. I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. I was such an ugly baby... My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. I'm so ugly... My father carries around the picture... of the kid who came with his wallet. When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father....... I'm very sorry....... We did everything we could...... But he pulled through. I'm so ugly... My mother had morning sickness....... AFTER I was born I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. Once when I was lost...... I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him.... "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said,"I don't know kid... There are so many places they can hide." My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. I'm so ugly... I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror, I feel like throwing up; What's wrong with me?" He said "I don't know but your eyesight is perfect." I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

01 Apr 2004, 11:51	#2
KebLou Mega Loafer Join Date: 02.03.2004 Location: The Arena of the Unwell Posts: 3,177	Chris somewhere you should have put: I was so ugly when my mother gave birth the docter slapped her. Oh well that was good, hope it wasn't true.

01 Apr 2004, 16:40	#4
Keep Rocking Super Loafer Join Date: 06.11.2003 Location: Sitting on the steps outside, looking so restless and reckless and lost! Posts: 820	Chris, in what a strange kind of mood are you in today? Those two threads of you made me smile a lot. Yvonne

01 Apr 2004, 17:01	#5
DIZZY DRUMMER Always Ready For A Bang Join Date: 30.11.2003 Location: Left In The Dark .......... AGAIN Posts: 6,389	Dr Chris Thanks - I needed cheering up - That was just the tonic - I've tears (of joy) rolling down my face with laughing so much ROFL

02 Apr 2004, 12:29	#6
Gez Knicker thief Join Date: 17.04.2003 Location: auch...not on the fence Posts: 5,633	Good ones Chris.... Were you so Ugly that your mum had to tie meat to your feet for the dog to play with you... or.....did you have blinds on your cot

02 Apr 2004, 15:36	#7
black dog Mega Loafer Join Date: 21.11.2003 Location: Cornwall Posts: 1,667	Chris I love this thread. It really brightens up the day to have something to laugh at

02 Apr 2004, 15:56	#8
KebLou Mega Loafer Join Date: 02.03.2004 Location: The Arena of the Unwell Posts: 3,177	I know what you mean, I love being able to get away and have a laugh.