A swift half
Usually involving a trip to a public bar, and seven pints.
12 inches
Unless it's a ruler or pizza, then it really means 6 if you are lucky.
Not much happened
Usually said when arriving home after "A swift half". Really means that everything happened, I had a great night but I'm not going to tell you as you will moan at me for enjoying myself or for the traffic cones on everyones doorstep between here and the pub.
I don't know
Really means I don't know what to say that won't get me into trouble, so I'll shut up.
I don't find her attractive
Nice breasts.
I can see why he likes her
Nice arse.
Do we have to?
There are a million and one things I would rather do, including shoving a red-hot poker through my face.
I love you
Can we have sex now?
It doesn't smell that bad
That was an impressive fart, why can't you realise that?
It's supposed to do that
Sort of.
Barman, this pint is off
I'm a bit short of cash, please help me.
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