Going to chime in here after Jules as well...
Meat,
You are tired. It has been a long and hard year. This is not the time to make any permanent decisions, and things will look very different after you get home and rest for a while. You are being entirely too hard on yourself, and the next time you go out on tour perhaps it should be taken into account what did not work well in this one, and where improvements could be made in the future to aid you to feel more at ease. Life is a continuing journey, and not a chapter that suddenly ends. If you are looking for support you have it.... I know of few artists who have a following such as this one anywhere. Take your time before making decisions and posting please.... there is nothing pushing you to make this the very minute that it all ends.
I hope there is someone close to you to give you a hug, and to perhaps hide your laptop for a few days....
Take care of yourself and feel better.
Much love,
Di