All right me being the chicken that I am I can not post me true feelings on another site because I don't want to hurt any one else's feelings or make any one else mad, but I have to clear the air and my conscience. Something happened in my life and I was suppose to make a decision about my family and I, or so I thought. But then I was made to feel guilty and now we have to go back to being miserable, I want what is best for us and I thought that I was going to finally be able to do just that. I was wrong, but am I wrong for finally wanting to make myself happy for a change? I have been carrying a load for awhile now and no one else could help, and although they felt sorry for us they just stood by and let it happen. So now the peace and quiet is going to be gone and we get to go back to being miserable again. I thought that I loved him and all that I wanted was to keep my family together, but all he worrys about is himself, and his stuff not about his daughter who he should worry about or even me. I feel sad and it will be a short time and I will be angry and resentful. My daughter deserves to be happy and live in a happy home. He doesn't love me and he never will but I am expected to take care of him because his family can not. I am afraid if he does come back that he won't get the care that he needs and something worse can happen to him, and I feel guilty for wanting him someplace that can help him. I'm sad because I won't ever be good enough for him or his family, or anyone else. I need to be strong for my daughter and myself and walk away but I can't. This whole situation sucks.
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