Meat, you brought yourself to this forum. You did not come here for critical analysis but to share something of yourself, and most of us have felt privileged that you did. A true family understands, cares for, respects and protects the feelings of its members out of love; unconditional love, which means you don't need to perform to earn it, but receive it because of who and what you are, part of that family. You came to us here as family, and brought your inner child with all its honest openness and eager innocent excitement as well as its creativity. You shared your hopes and your fears with honesty and trust. That you have said "Keep this to yourselves .." shows that you felt there was trust in this family community. I too am sorry you decided to leave, but I understand why, and why you reacted in the way you did, particularly as in the last couple of weeks everything was going so well with the shows., and you were feeling the magic which is clearly as important to you as it is to us given your total commitment to give the very best.
When you set foot on stage there is true magic. You weave it, you are transported by it, and we are entranced by it. When you go on stage next .. and do what only you can do in the way only you do it .. look at that audience .. feel the love and excitement .. THAT's real .. and that says more than a few criticisms .. and somewhere I know you know that, and can hold it tight. And there are many thousands of us in the UK waiting to reinforce that.
Thank you so much for the special gift of sharing yourself with us for the time you did. Like many I wish I could put my arms round you and hug the hurt away, but hopefully the words here from so many who love you will reach out and do this. You will be sorely missed, but I wouldn't seek to persuade you to return just now. When trust is bruised it takes time to recover, more time even than hurt feelings.
My love to you and your precious, creative, loving and vulnerable inner child. May your magic be at your fingertips, may your star shine brightly and never falter, and may you have as much fun and pleasure as you give to us, singing what you damn well please. You are the magician, you decide what spells to weave. I am just happy to have my heart and soul taken to a far, far better place for the time you are on stage.
Caryl xo
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