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Old 15 Jun 2011, 09:34   #23
lorenzoduke
Mega Loafer
 
Join Date: 24.07.2006
Posts: 1,269
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'Drums' should have been 'drugs', that I'd agree with, if only because 'and rock n' roll' makes the singling out of drums seem odd and redundant.

'Spit' seems better to me, (Meat literally spits the word out too, it gets across the disdain really well) as does 'give a damn'. 'Give a ~~~~' wouldn't scan right with the hard k right before etiQUette.

'Hanged herself' would have been terrible in my view, just too blunt and at odds with the rest of the song. I'd have just changed 'I'll never know where she disappeared' to 'I'll never know why she disappeared', since this establishes that there must have been a motive for her 'choosing to go' rather than being 'taken away'.
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