Dear wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had
cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of
your soaps.
You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything
that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you're cheating on me or
you don't love me anymore; whatever ! the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don't try to find me.
Your SISTER & I are moving a way to West
Virginia together!
Have a great lif e!
Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true you
& I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from
what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining &
griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that
came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised
me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't
comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused
with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99
price tag was still on them, & ; I prayed it was a coincidence that my
sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it
out.
So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my
job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you
were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said that
the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take
care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S.
I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was
born Carl.
I hope that's not a problem.
Brilliant !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!