I apologize ahead of time for this one!!
When the waters finally subsided, and Noah led all the animals onto dry land, he was distraught by a pair of snakes who refused to leave.
Arms on hips, he glared down at them. "So, why don't you leave?"
"Because we can't go do what the Lord has asked," replied one of the snakes.
"You mean you can't go forth and multiply? Why not??"
The snake said sadly, "Because we're adders."
Okay! Okay! I TOLD you it was a bad one!! 
How about another one?
Two nuns were driving down a desolate highway when they ran out of remembered that they had passed a gas station just a few miles back so they started the tiresome walk back.
Once back at the gas station, the nuns explained their problem and asked for some gas and a can to put it in. The attendant explained that they no longer loaned out gas cans as travelers so often failed to return them. The nuns asked him if he had any suggestions and the gas jockey pointed to a trash heap out behind the garage, suggesting that the nuns might find something there in which to carry the fuel back to their car.
After rummaging through the trash for quite some time, the only thing the nuns could find in which to put some gas was an old baby's training potty. Filling the potty with gas, they made the long walk back to their car.
About this time, a drunk happened along and saw this sight on the side of the road. He slammed on the brakes, slid to a stop, jumped out and staggered over to the nuns. Not saying a word, he watched as they poured from the potty into the tank.
Just as the nuns were about to start the car, the drunk straightened up and exclaimed..."Lordie me, Sisters - you sure got more faith than I got!"
They say 'Third time's a charm'...shall we give it a try...?
A Christian in ancient Rome was being pursued by a lion. He ran through the city streets and into the woods, dodging back and forth among the trees.
Finally it became obviously that it was hopeless--the lion was going to catch him. So he turned suddenly, faced the beast and dropped to his knees. "Lord," he prayed desperately, "make this lion a Christian."
Instantly the lion dropped to its knees and prayed, "For this meal of which I am about to partake..."
Love,
MB
xxx