REPENT ALL YE SINNERS!
Take ye the Loaf into thine hearts, embrace the true calling while thee can, before the demons of hell forever roam the earth, devouring the souls of the desperate, amongst the bloodcurdling screams of the night, the tortured agonies of those with the Streisand marked on their beasts, for the day is nigh, the time is coming, whence ye shall despair and beat upon thine breast with regret and yea, loathing for thine Loafless lives.
Be led not into the temptations of the evil ones, for though they walk amongst us and resemble us, the deception shall become apparent as the time of Armageddon approaches, and then thou shalt regret, and fear eternal condemnation, and thy weary souls shall have neither rest nor refuge from the howlings of the Manilow beast, henceforth until all eternity.
Never shall ye rise from this torment, thy soul shalt be cursed and marked for all immortality until the very end of time itself, and lo, twill be too late for promises unkept remembered, for ungiven love to flow forth, the time is nigh, see the chance, seize the chance, do not let the hourglass flow between life and Loaf, for that is the way of the sinner and the way to eternal damnation.
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