Holiday Tips
 

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
   
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
   
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
   
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
   
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
   
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
   
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the centre of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
   
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
   
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
   
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Have a Great Holiday Season! :bleh:

Thanks, R....will do!!!

Happy Holidays to you too!!!

Wise words

;) Mmmm, Egg Nog. Must go buy some more. The first litre went down like a beer in a dust storm.

Really must try this Egg Nog stuff one day.

You never tried Egg Nogg? Wow...

Bezillion calories and worth every little one of them as far as I am concerned...

Me too

Monstro and Needmoremeat, you don't know what you are missing. And the good part is, you have all year to burn off the side effects.

Must be a Northern thing lol

:D I'm from the land downunder. :D It's not restricted to northern hemisphere. :D

Is that Where beer does flow and men chunder?

Well we on X-mas is a ham or turkey....pop, water, mixed drinks, and beer....Jello cookies Red and Green...pumpkin roll, little ham rolls, pickles dill and sweet, shrimp, cowboy beans, taco salad, potato salad, pretty much a bring your own....Other side of the family on dec 24 is..cookies, fudge, candy, meat balls, homemade bread, chesse tray, noodles, and carrot sticks YUCK! LOL thats our meal whats your's?

:D uh huh.