Poor poor me....
 

was so poor growing up... If I wasn't born a boy.... I'd have had
nothing to play with.

A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody
home," I went over. Nobody was home.

During sex, my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other
night she called me from a hotel.

One day as I came home early from work ... I saw a guy jogging naked.
said to the guy... "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?"
He said, "Because you came home early,"

Its been a rough day. I got up this morning put on a shirt and a button
fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid
to go to the bathroom.

I was such an ugly kid........ When I played in the sandbox the cat kept
covering me up.

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a
radio.

I was such an ugly baby... My mother never breast fed me. She told me
that she only liked me as a friend.

I'm so ugly... My father carries around the picture... of the kid who
came with his wallet.

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my
father....... I'm very sorry....... We did everything we could...... But
he pulled through.

I'm so ugly... My mother had morning sickness....... AFTER I was born

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger
to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

Once when I was lost...... I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me
find my parents. I said to him.... "Do you think we'll ever find them?"
He said,"I don't know kid... There are so many places they can hide."

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.

I'm so ugly... I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big
I'd get.

I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look
in the mirror, I feel like throwing up; What's wrong with me?"
He said "I don't know but your eyesight is perfect."

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My
doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

Chris somewhere you should have put:

I was so ugly when my mother gave birth the docter slapped her.

Oh well that was good, hope it wasn't true.

I hope it isn't true either!

If its not then that was funny! Depressing but funny!

Chris,
in what a strange kind of mood are you in today? :twisted:
Those two threads of you made me smile a lot.
Yvonne

Dr Chris http://e4u.deltait.com.au/dressed/bek191.gif


Thanks - I needed cheering up - That was just the tonic - I've tears (of joy) rolling down my face with laughing so much


ROFL :nuts: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

Good ones Chris....

Were you so Ugly that your mum had to tie meat to your feet for the dog to play with you...

or.....did you have blinds on your cot :wink:

Chris I love this thread. It really brightens up the day to have something to laugh at

I know what you mean, I love being able to get away and have a laugh.