This Preacher dost not follow false idols, the one true way and path is that of the mighty Meat Loaf, who is this Mear Loaf of which thee speak, false prophet and messenger of BabBazz? It could be thought that ye are a member of one of these newfangled cult-like movements, if so, be warned brother in Loaf, for they shalt only lead thee astray from the one true way.

T'was a typo.



Thou should read more carefully, oh heathen brother of the Loaf martyrdom, for should thee pay more attention, thee will note that damnation occurs only to the sinful, disdainful and non-believers, not to the true Loafers within the faith, those whom follow the tolling bell of the Loaf and the gatekeeper of the pointed piano.


This music is ALL ABOUT sin.
You wanna preach against sex, drums, and rock n roll, you picked the wrong god :nuts:
Loaferism is a little more fun than that.


Lo, my heart is sorely troubled for thee, must be terrible to be caught in traps of confusion, sin and misery, whence the true way is not obvious to thee.

Confusion - noy guilty.
Sin - guilty as charged (I hope)
Misery - Not guilty.

The true way is pretty obvious.
Lock this thing if we don't get some decent happy sermons.
If I wanna be told i'm going to hell, i'll go to a real church.



Power and false idols corrupt thee, brother, hateful and vengeful talk shalt get thee nowhere in the eyes and graces of the Loaf and Loaves, thee shalt remain a mere Loafer of the lower order of the brethen of the Loaf, resulting in no crusade attendance for thee, thus halting any chances of progression, ruining thine chances to gaze upon the face of the Loaf and hear the Loaf in all his glory, hallelujah and Paradise.


*thee* doesn't need any help form power and false idols.
*thee* was already corrupt.

And power was made to be used.
So, do we get some decent happy sermons, or is this place getting locked up?

Guilt must way heavily on thy soul, child, for thee to deny the truth, cowering and threatening in this manner. Brother, thee should perhaps pay more attention. Happy is a state of mind and matter of interpretation. There shall be great rejoicing when the BabBazz is overcome, and the damned enter their eternal suffering, awash with their sins and punishment from henceforth onwards.

Did the preacher bite you...and if she did...where????

Can you all please repeat your last posts...only longer and slower???

I love your averta:)!!

See how the perfidious evil of the BabBazz infiltrates thine defences when thee lapse in concentration? Vigilance is the key to retaining thy purity in the Loaf.

Prithee pay more attention, brother Mouse, for thee has missed some teachings of the Loaf upon the way. Please direct to where thee has spied any words against these drums, rock'n'roll and sex thee mention.

Confusion must be guilt, for there is no denial of guilt present. Well done on taking that first step of the sinners walk of repentance, bother Mouse, now thee must keep walking int he Loaf. Misery is yet to be decided, doomsday is not upon us yet.

I draw the attention of the brethren to sermon number 115, a truly joyous occasion in the day of the Loaf, to which none paid any heed. If fire and brimstone is required to gain conversions of the masses into the glorious way of the Loaf and the gatekeeper of the pointed piano, then that is what this humble missionary and servant of our Loafy Lord shall do.


Sermon #115. Thee may attempt to cast out the truth, but ye are only dooming thyself to eternal damnation, those of us who see the light and the Loaf shall not be troubled by thine misery.

Whose?

False idols and misrepresentations.... that is one of the myriad of ways to misery and destruction.

:twisted: Well I think this has gone way off topic :lmao:

Think the chuch will now be closed until the next happy event :wink:
Book now through your friendly local archbishop :mrgreen:

Once more The Flying Mouse and mszee would like to thank everyone for making their wedding such a special occasion, and they hope you all enjoyed it as much as they did :up:

:twisted: I don't believe it.
I just don't believe it :shock:
I've just been sent a fax from the European Rights Committee, slateing me for religious intolerance, and demanding the church be reopened forthwith :wtf:

Apparently Rome was even gonna send the papal army in :yikes:

So I hereby order the church reopened.

God help us all :roll:






Fecking Brussels :bicker:

Amen...

This old Preacher 'tis a happy soul, see how the Loaf works in mysterious ways, brethren? There may be hope for the one known as the Mouse yet, the eternal pits of misery may yet be avoided, and the sun may yet overcome the impediment of the nostril of the BabBazz, the gatekeeper may not smite the Loafers with his pointed piano, for lo, they can show faith when required, should conversions result from this glorious day of religious and Loafy freedom, then perchance the Mouse may save his distressed soul, and the rodents may flee from the howling of the false Evises without ingesting all in their path and choking to death on the false rhinestones fallen from the pelvis of doom.

:twisted: FECKING BRUSSLES :bicker:

Brother Mouse! Whilst thine enthusiasm for the vegetable side dish that accompanies our way in the lord Loaf of the Meat, perhaps thee would be wise to be eating thy brussels and fecking thy wife.

Ahahahahaha...I don't know what the expression is...I thought it had something to do with Belgium...

In any event, dear preacher...thanks for giving my dear cyber bigger half ideas consisting of 4 letter words...he really does need a lot of encouragement...a shy retiring fellow that he is...

:shock:

BOOH - morals for existance
 

Today's joyous message is part of a series, and twill be based around the words of our Lord Loaf and the words of the gatekeeper of the pointed piano.

Bats Out of Hell: the return of the BabBazz

Tis written that the sirens are screaming and the fires are howling way down in the valley tonight, so can be seen that BabBazz is beginning it's return to demonise the earth with horrendous screamings and screechings designed to drive these mortals insane and convert them to it's insidious cause. The saviour of us all shall be the man in the shadows with a gun in his eye, and a blade shining oh so bright, yet we have not seen this man in a number of years, since the Loaf told us we were right to believe, that he couldn't have said it better himself, and that we should testify against the BabBazz and for the Loaf at all hours of the day and night. The false elvises begin to rise from the tunnels, foaming in a giant wave of false rhinestones, ready to devour all the sacred and not so sacred souls of the earth. The Loaf himself, via his mouthpiece the gatekeeper of the pointed piano says to believe, and believe thee shalt, lest a plague of clowns follow the elvis impersonators and fill thine eye sockets with false rhinestones. Take this message with thee in thine life today: walk with the Loaf and the gatekeeper of the pointed piano, for even should the BabBazz arise, and (Loaf forbid) be victorious in the armageddon, the Loaf and the gatekeeper of the pointed piano assure thee that thee are the only thing in this whole world that is pure and good and right, so do not forsake that purity, for tis purity that keeps thee in the mind and the heart of the Loaf.

The choir shalt now sing, whilst the collection plate is passed around.

:twisted: Only feels right to do this here.

Requium et passe.

Night Minty.
XXX

BOOH - morals for existance II
 

Brother Mouse, thine kind words for a friend, I am sure they were received with as much, if not greater, love than they were given.

Now, back to the lesson...

The Loaf tells us to believe above all other things, for even he believes, and if he shalt be proven wrong, then we shalt all be proven wrong with him, and thus it is no matter of great concern, for the Loaf and the gatekeeper of the pointed piano have proclaimed it thus: if I gotta be damned, then I wanna be damned, dancing through the night with you. Lo, for verily we shalt know no fear in our crusade for Loafers, for conversions, to save the sinners and disbelievers of this world from the perifidious BabBazz who shalt no doubt rise again, along with the aforementioned plague of Elvis impersonators, bejewelled with false rhinestones, but be strong, oh Loafy ones, for rhinestones are not the riches they appear to be, and will not grant thee thy boons of flagrantly rotating pelvi. In the words of the Loaf and the gatekeeper of the pointed piano, when the day is done and the sun goes down, moonlight shining through, then like a sinner before the gates of heaven I'll come crawling on back to you... and so tis, that the Loaf is coming for us again, in the third resurrection, rebirth and uprising, and no doubt this third coming shalt be the most glorious of them all, and the Loaf, the gatekeeper of the pointed piano and all Loafers and Steinmanites alike shall storm triumphant through the halls of fame to Rock and Roll heaven. HALLELUJAH AND PARADISE, praise to the Loaf and the day of the third rising!

So sorry...

How heartening to see such a hearty group of people here on this chilly morn. Never fear, the mighty Loaf, tells us, he was damned when we were saved, and thus he hath demonstrated his eternal love for us all, and his reluctance to leave us to eternal misery at the hands of the BabBazz. The disbelievers and infidels refuse to believe the words "For Crying OUt Loud, you know I love you", sent to us by the gatekeeper of the pointed piano, via the Loaf, and thus he tells us that he will never leave us, should we choose to accept the way and repent of our non-Loafiness, yet there are many that will not do so. Tis entirely possible, and indeed likely, that the ignorant shall be buried in chilly sand and frozen in California winds, should they not believe ans worship when given the chance, for the Loaf will recieve everybody with open arms and eyes, and love them for all eternity, and not tear their jeans apart along with all lower limbs and jean contents. Tis written that without the Loaf, there will be no sun to cure coldness, no shelter from rain, no children, no answers to questions, no highways, no games, no future, no home for anybody, endless falling, stalling, and hence an eternity consigned to misery, nowhere to go, falling deeper and deeper into pits of despair, being buried alive in sand with subzero winds blowing over thine naked body, no motivation to change, unable to do anything about it all due to perpetual stalling.... the ressurection is nearly upon us, repent in good time, friends, repent or face thy life as hell.

By the way...BabBazz is touring again...despite the last tour...wanna I should get you some tickets???

INFIDEL! HEATHEN! PERFIDIOUS AND ILLUSTRIOUS MESSENGER OF EVIL!!! Thy ways may easily lead thee to eternal condemnation, shild, how darest thee enter this holy place spreading sin and lies around thee? Tis a desecration. Twould be easy to believe that thee ist a false Loafer... may a plague of French bread sticks infest thy hovel, lest ye call it a dwelling or more, may the Loaf cast down big yellow cabs into thy most horrendous traffic jams, may the gatekeeper of the pointed piano play nothing but flat, may the BabBazz nostril remove thy sun and drown the in its insidious stench, might its howlings follow thee for all eternity, yet never deafining thee, may the Loaf and his followers not hear thy beggings and peladings for mercy, and may HEAVEN WAIT FOREVER for thee.

Pah, tickets indeed.

Ummm...gather you don't want any tickets? But...part of the proceeds are going to charity? Good cause???

See how the ways of the BabBazz are traitorous and subtle? The evil one thinks that by masquerading and hiding its true intentions, it can influence and brainwash unbelievers, and receive wholehearted support from its servants, thus converting a new group to living dead brain fried zombies, and it stands a good chance of success, unless action is taken, and the likes of thineself promoting the nasty one in this place shalt only aid and abet it's intentions, begone oh messenger of evil, there ist no good cause good enough to promote the BabBazz, it is merely decieving the unbelievers into believing it is good, thus it's false messengers and false prophets can conivnce the world to follow, oh brethren, please avoid this thing, turn thine eyes to the Loaf whilst thee can, the third coming is almost upon us, damnation shalt follow for the non-believer, for even their Amazon account shalt be removed, and the Loaf shalt not forgive after the time hast past, thee need to support him from the beginning, not be a bandwagon jumper, and certainly not succumb to the falsehoods of the demon BabBazz and it's vile and gruesome and tricky ways.