A. everybody

Q. how fast does news travel?

A: It's a direct correlation with how big a mouth the person you tell has got

Q: What is the most boring book in the world?

A. without a doubt the most boring book in the world has to be the telephone directory.

Q. will there ever be a day when everybody is happy?

Good point

A: No, there will always be one miserable git

Q: Are gnomes evil?

A. depends

Q. magical or garden variety?

Both. I have a feeling those freaky little plastic garden gnomes come into your house at night and scoop your brains out...that's why people keep buying them...

Although at least now I can spell gnome...used to spell it with a k... :roll:

A: Not as evil as the Ooomaloompas in Charlie and The Chocolate Factory - uggh those things always gave me the creeps!!


Q: What is the scientific explanation for love?

MADNESS !!!!!






Should I invest in a webcam

No FA, you will get the disappointment(s) of your life!! :D


So, Liverpool are going to win in Istanbul aren't they? ;)

has this happened yet?

No Keab, we have that pleasure to come!

Q: How come it's WINTER in Australia and still much warmer than here?:(

Because theyre lovely but annoying and meh.

Anyone know an effective way to harden the skin? Im using surgical spirit but all its doing is hadening the ends of my nails...

Ronseal strengthening wood varnish!!!

Why??

Sounds like you better not ask Chris! :D

Biter - try playing the guitar - that'll do it!! :lol:

Q: Who's goin to see the new Star Wars film?? :??:

I may see it, just to see what tehy'll do to ~~~~~~~ise the series even more.

What is it with the English? :p

Nothing!! We can't help being perfect!! :lol::lol::lol:

Why do i always choose women i haven't got a prayer of pulling!!!!:roll:

You're a hopeless optimist Chris! :lol:


Is it possible, ever, to be completely happy? :-)

Yes if you don't want the impossible!

Why is it always the cute girls who object to being told/don't believe they are cute?

Actually, they don't Chris - it's just that the words you need to use are 'intelligent', 'attractive' and 'desirable'... ha ha :D

OK, I'll have to settle 4 2md best won't I? :(

Never settle for 2nd best.....mm...apart from now ;)

Porridge with sugar or salt??

How to make the perfect porridge
==========================

Place foot on pedal of bin

Press pedal

tip entire bowl of porridge in bin

Make bowl of shreddies!!!

Q. Shall i make a pot of tea for the evening or crack open a bottle of wine??

Shreddies win hands down Chris - unless the alternative offering is a chicken tikka (yumm!) :D

I'd have the tea with shreddies









How do you concerntrate on writing music when you have a daughter taking the **** all of the time & a hubby who rabbits about nowt in the other ear :shock:

Suggest they go and see Star Wars (because it's 3 hours long! :D ) and 'spend some quality time together' so you can get 4 hours' peace! :cool:


Why does ordering furniture always make me lose the will to live? :evil:

Great idea - but hubby will not go to pictures - & Chris would not be seen dead with her dad (not cool) :lol: SO I have decided to move into the garage with me drums - I know I am safe in there.


WELL - it is not the most exciting thing to be ordering ............. is it :shock:









What shell I have for tea????

Just had a chicken salad for lunch