:twisted: I was just about to say that very thing :shock:

Pah, have thee nothing better to do with thine time than mock the way of the Loaf? May the wing of the Bat blow thine dwelling into the sea of fire, may thine dashboard lights burn out and explode, wiping clean your entire fusebox and motherboard, may amnesty never be granted to thee, and may BabBazz sing upon thine ears forever.

geez...who p--d in your cereal today???

Wash out thine mouth, cleanse thy spirit and free thy soul from the perfidious chains of foulness that envelope thee, cast thy sin away as ye would cast away a mouldy cheesecake, refine thy ways and mannerisms, repent of thy language, do not swear lest ye be sworn at, for those living in sin should not through stones, and those living in glass houses should get chagned in the dark, for light can bring irrepairable damage tot hine neighbours, 'tis written "love others as ye love thinself", lest ye be cast away like a frisbee, round, flat and pancake-like, to fall in the watertank ne'er to be seen again.

Lovely...especially enjoyed the part about glass houses and neighbors...how did you ever know???

The screaming and shrieking of those damned and fated to live in the house next door... pre-nuptial counselling is a must.

Well...ummm...counsel away...I am all open to suggestions...

Tis suggested that the wedding be called off, for cats devour mice whole, cruching their bones, drinking their ebtrails, clawing off their tails as victory trophies, to be pinned near the heads of the destroyed life, matrimony is an abomination of nature, for it causes thee to take thine eyes from the Loaf and the path of true life, 'twas the pitfall of many afore ye, and will ensnare many after thee, no doubt, see now where temptation can lead thee? Unadulaterated lust has a hefty price for the guilty, thee shall be enslaved by bonds beyond man for all eternity.

Oh my dear preacher-teacher...have you seen a likeness of my beloved one in his avatar? 'Tis only uniting with him in holy matrimony that I can come as close to the holy Loaf as I only can...

Open your eyes, oh teacher...and take a good look at the likeness of The Flying Mouse and the truth will be revealed to you in all it's glory.

:twisted: Well I didn't wanna say it myself :mrgreen:
Thank you darling :wink:

Hey guys is there going to be a rehersal?

I don't know about rehearsal...but there was a talk about stag party...talk to THE MAN

Darling...are you having a stag party or something?

Bestiality is unauthorised in the ways of the Loaf, thou must not covet the neighbours ass, let alone their stag... dost thee really insist upon eternal damnation, ye trollops, harlots, and lustful sinners?

:twisted: I am that my love.

Stag party.
Tonight.
The Bat & Belfry.
:mrgreen:

Saints preserve us! Will you be able to get out of bed in the morning for the wedding?

:twisted: Oh i'll be up bright and early :D
Well, brightish and earlyish :roll:
Thankfully i'm on the side of the Atlantic that will have the wedding at 5:00 pm local time.Plenty of time to get my shit together :mrgreen:
The blushing bride on the other hand will be getting married at 12:00 her local time, so hasn't got as much time to get ready as I do.
But saying that, she doesn't need very much time as she ALWAYS looks stunning :wink:

Tell me, can this boy charm, or can this boy charm? :mrgreen: :lol:

Ok...what is a stag party? Bachelor party? Or can anybody attend????

Blushing bride??? Me thinks you've read too many very long and boring Russian novels...

Yes, this boy can charm...oh...I just re-read your post...you were talking about yourself...oh...

:twisted: A stag night my lovely is a chaps last night as a single man :wink:
Your really not suposed to, but I don't mind if you wanna pop in :wink:


I don't think i've ever read any Russian novels :shock:
I'm sure you can educate me in t5he Russian classics though my love.

I was talking about you my lovelist of loaferettes :shock:
Although I do see your point, I do usually look pretty damn good :mrgreen:

Ok...Bachelor party then...speak American please...when is it so that I can crash it and bring some strippers with me?:shock:

Most Russian novels are very long and boring...and half written in French. The only one I would recommend is Dostoevsky but please don't keep the gun in the house while reading it...it's like reading Camus, Sartre and Kafka all rolled together...

Well, under the sign of Loaf...you will look good to any lofette:D ...

Strippers? :yikes: :drool:
Looks to be an interesting night :mrgreen:

I'll let you read to to me one day my love (while I lie back and have you feed me freshly peeled grapes :mrgreen: )

Why thank you darling :D
See folks, the secret of a good marrage, endless compliments from each other :lmao:

Oh dear...The Monster Is Born...and Loose in every sense of this word...

What kind of Stag/Bachelor party is it without strippers? Strippers are totally a must!!! Enjoy it while you can...cause you know what happens to married men when they go see strippers? They go blind for life...Didn't your mum ever teach you that? That and other things that make you blind...

You don't eat peeled grapes while reading Russian novels...you contemplate suicide...so no Russian novels...comics only...in any event...peeled grapes??? Moi???

We're not married yet...I am sure all compliments will fall off through the left pant leg straight after the marriage...

Ah, but let us not forget that it is also written that the lion shall lay with the lamb, and the dog with the cat, and the small furry creature from Alpha Centauri with the Betelgeusian wombat, so should it not be that that cat shall marry the flying mouse? Perhaps this abomination is merely the foreshadowing of the coming of the Loaf and his gatekeeper of the pointed piano?

Now we're talking...

:twisted: Well I know strippers are a must, but the fiancee isn't suposed to know about them.
Us groomies are suposed to pretend we don't want them, and we ain't gettin them.
It's unusual for the bride to suply them.
I think i'm a very luck y man in my choice of spouce :mrgreen:

OK, you can read a comic to me :lol:
And why not with the peeled grapes :shock: I'm worth it aren't I? :mrgreen:

They could well do, but i'm an optimist :mrgreen:

:twisted: See, now that, to me, makes sence :D
Basically because I get what I want out of it, and not only am I not a heathen, I am actually doing god's work :mrgreen:

Result I say :D

yeah, yeah, yeah...and every fiance does know about them...so...ummm...better I supply them...At least I can find some very unattractive ones to play with you...see the point now?

Yeah, think again then...

Why can't you eat grapes unpeeled??? Ahhhhhh...no teeth?????:shock: :shock: :shock:

Optimist, shmoptimist...I am out mostly today...have to do bridal stuff...manicure, pedicure, etc...

So maybe catch you later...

Borther dant, thine cheer and courage is admirable, yet thee are following the teachings of the newfangled documents, remember, in the beginning twas written that the strong shall destroy the weak, the uprising will occur, that plagues of non-pointed pianos shall devour the earth, as punishment for abominations against the name of the Loaf, these heathens blaspheme when not under strict supervision, spawn of the nostrils as they are, thy do not realise the torment rapidly encroaching upon them. In Loafdom unite, for heaven only waits for the true believer, sinners and infidels shall suffer endless agonies of mind and soul....

:twisted: See folks, beauty AND brains :wink:
She's a very smart girl my fiancee.
With the two of us as parents, the kids are gonna be little little Einsteins :shock:

I do prefare them peeled darling :D .
I just assumed :roll: you'd be more than happy to do that for me :?


Go and spoil yourself my lovely loaferette :mrgreen:
I want you at your most lovely best for tomorrow :D .
I mean, I know it's hard to improve on perfection :wink: , but the beaty salon can try :lol:

:twisted: They're quite stressful these things aren't they? :shock:

Stressful is the day of judgement, when the demonic spirits of the BabBazz shall wail at thee in their evil monotones until thee despair, wishing to end thine life to escape the agony, whilst the BabBazz covers you in darkness, halitosis, and thee shall scream to the Loaf and the gatekeeper of the pointed piano to save thee from thepunishment of thine sins commited whilst earhbound, none shall hear yer, for thine tomrent is caused only by thine own actions, turn to the Loaf and the light whilst ye still can, confess thy evil desires and temptations, allow the love of the Loaf into thine hearts, save thy soul from endless entrail devouring demons, for there is not much time but eternity, and heaven shall not wait for the wicked.

Yep

Cold feet may be a blessing, thee may not realise that by uniting as one, ye attract double the agonies of eternity, double the BabBazz spirit, double the false Elvis's, double the wrath of the Loaf, double the smite from the pointed piano of the gatekeeper, and double penance required from thy sins, as thee refuse to repent in a timely fashion, for yea the sun shall be cast from thee, as shalt the eyes of the Loaf, the stars shall fall, the moon become dark, the toads destroy vegetation around thee, thy fingers eaten by ravenous goldfish, mosquitos bite thine nerve endings, with thee unable to scratch without fingers, and overall, the shrieks of over souls suffering the tortures of BabBazz on permanent repeat.

Are we ready to rock and roll people?

Huh?? not really into reading all the pages... but what??

It's the Wedding of the Year today.

Yeah okay.. but an internet wedding or is it real?? I missed really something!

There's a wedding, Tim, check the church thread! :D
 

Rock and roll can lead to the light and truth, and is the one true way to look upon the face of the Loaf in all of his glory. Be not tempted into listening to pop, or looking upon the sight of the BabBazz beast, for at that time the choirs shalt descend to the earth, blowing trumpets, playing guitars, throwing guitar picks to the faithful, halting the desecration and destruction of mankind.

Aha... very clear!! :roll:
yeah... checked the other threath also... but strange.

Strange doesn't even begin to cover it. I'm having to work on a day off.

The Loaf hears thy mockery and treachery, idol worhipping spawn of BabBazz, the false Elvis shalt curse thee and haunt thee all of thine days, plucking thine eyes for use as rhinestones, stalking thine every footsteps with wails of hatred, howling in thine misbegotten ears, thrusting his false pelvis against thee in displays of sinful sexual immorality, and cursing thee until thine dying breath.

Cool sounds like fun.

I Like Elvis.

hahah, did you use something?? wow man... sounds euh... funny.

Lies, all lies.... thine soul has been mistreated and abused, and the Loaf and disciples are sorely grieved for thine agony. Repent of thine sins while thee can, confess and recieve the amnesty granted, lest ye be condemned to rot in the hell of the BabBazz beast for all eternity, for not even then shall the gatekeeper of the pointed piano save thee, damnation will sit upon thy shoulders like a mantle of anvils, written in stone, cement around thine ankles as ye are hurled to the wolves in a pit of fire and hateful torturous screamings.

okay, you are poetic. great. As i only could understand one word of it, it would be better. :lol:

True understanding comes only by accepting the Loaf into thine heart and life, thee must revere the Loaf and renounce all insidious infidels, traitors, liars, cheats, harlots, trollops, ameoba, sheep and silkworms in favour of the glory of dashboard lights, big old yellow cabs, running meters, then the wing of the great bat shall protect thee, the gatekeeper of the pointed piano shall not smite thee from the heavens, and the Loaf shall rescue thee from the final judgement, rescuing thine body from terrible agonies beyond thy wildest nightmares.

:twisted: Time getting short now :shock:
Mousie is gonna lose his batchelor status in about 3 hours.
Someone get me a beer :hic:
Wonder if the bride is this nervous :roll:

Drunkeness added to thine list of transgressions, son, learn to lead a Laofy life afore it is too late to save thineself, for surely shalt thee be cast aside from glory like a exploding zebra on heat, with thine sinful soul full of drunkeness and debauchery, can thee not see that thine life should be worth more to thee than this terrible doom to which thee rush headlong, Loafdom is sorely troubled lest thine fate be worse than death, worse than life, endless leeches shall burrow into thine groin, fleas shall feast upon thy toejam, and learner violinists shall stalk thee for all the steps of thine life.

Let the Loafdom prosper and long live Loaf!!!

In thine image you have created a groom...send your blessings to the bride.

For she is ready to commit in holy matrimony and in Loaf's name.

Long live Loaf and prosper!!! And let pop music forever stop haunting Steinman's pointed piano. Let Elvis rise from the ashes and bless this holy union with his rendition of Love Me Tender!!!

In the spirit of Loaf, Gatekeeper and the Pointed Piano...let us pray together!

LONG LIVE THE MEAT LOAF!!!

Lo, it must be the road to Damascus, cheer Loafers, for we have a convert amongst us... welcome to the way of the Loaf on this cheery morning, may thy day be blessed with rain, clouds, hurricanes and fewer of the living dead than normal, with only minimal interference from BabBazz and it's evil and loathesome messengers, on their way to the pits of mass destruction.

Good morning, oh faithful one!!!! It appears that groom might have had a few too many at this bachelor's party cause he ain't here. I hope I am not left at the altar.

It's a gorgeous morning here - sunny with a gentle breeze...and much fewer living dead than usual. Although motorcicles are still groaning with greasy pleasure.

God save us from BabBazz...and keep her away from this blessed day...

LONG LIVE MEAT LOAF!!!

Hast thee been drinking, child?

Tis truly a blessing to see that the bride has accepted the Loaf into her heart on this most joyous day! The BabBazz surely howls in fury and frustration, and the false Elvises (or it is Elvii?) thrash their pelvises (pelvii?) in ever increasing undulations, eventually hurling themselves from their unholy stage and into the roiling orchestra pit of infernal cacophany!

May the Loaf and his Gatekeeper smile upon thee and may the wrath of the pointed piano be averted from your repentent head!

Well said, brother Dant, the Loaf shall surely reward thee with the ultimate blessing on the day of judgement, and send the wing of the bat to protect thee, ye shall certainly receive the guitar pick entry to paradise, whilst sinners around thee keep driving, the wolf at thine door shall be no more as thee forge ahead to the promised land with thine decadent wishes.

Not yet

See the miracles that allowing the loaf into thine heart can create? For only hours ago, thee were a sinner of the worst kind, drunken, debauchen, brazen and ameoba like, and now, see thyself, clean and pure, as is the tree after a passing dog. Praise to the Loaf for this marvellous conversion, welcome to the fold, dear sister in the Loaf.

I am very clean and pure...and better looking I think now

Death is merely a means to an end. Tis written that death brings eternal torment, surely this cannot be worse than the torture we suffer our mortal lives? Post mortem the body can no longer truly suffer, pyhsical pain and sensation must become truly psychological, thus the only life after death agonies must be mental, not physical. Tis also written that we suffer in life in the name of the Loaf, unless we are true believers, in which case we are strong enough to withstand temptation and to henceforth stand strong and tall.

Do not forsake us now, oh Loaf and ruler of all, bring peace to the hearts of thine devoted followers, do not allow the dashboard lights to fade, the meter to run, nor the monster to be loose, for the monster within may be stronger than morality and societal obedience. Stand tall and walk with thy disciples, oh Loafy one, send the gatekeeper with the pointed piano to soothe the aggravated and agonised beast, lest the world suffer more than it needs.

Geez...nothing to see here for real now...

Oh dearest Loaf, life giver and healer of all evils, please look upon this child of thine with grace and mercy, for she knows not of what she speaks, forgive her the harsh words that pass her lips, allow her to see thee in all thine glory and renounce her evil ways, for the love of the Loaf can conquer all, do not condemn this misfortunate wretch to a pit of agony for all eternity, allow thine grace to enter her heart and save her from immortal torment.

Well, this is much better - thanks for the prayer! I do need it...

I must apologise, child of the Loaf, for 'twould seem that we have been cast out of the Holy place, thrown from our refuge in the seas of this troubled world, for the Loafer known as Mouse has demolished our sacred place of worship in order to aid the perfidious BabBazz in it's conquest of the world, thus we are forced to worship together in this simple and primitive thread... for the Mouse did build the church, for the Rockette did invite this humble servant to take up dwelling there, ye thineself invited this Preacher to minister to thee there, and the BabBazz invades the consciousness of the Mouse and forces he into heresy and traitorship, and thus doth he betray us all in the name of the Loaf, for as he wishes, so the BabBazz shall pervade the earth, inflicting upon it it's perfidious and insidious odour, nostril hair and smell, for thee shalt never see the thing thee calls the sun again, and the worst of it shalt be reserved for the one they call the Mouse, for 'twas him that sent us from the safe place into this tumultuous area of sin and misery, should thine soul be in agony for all eternity, whilst the Mouse picks thine ribs out one by one with his knitting needles, then so be it, for thine false idol and legitimately called loved one ghost cast thee thus, so for to blame the Loaf and the gatekeeper of the pointed piano would be mere tomfoolery on behalf of his children, for though they suckle at the oranges of life, of the nipples of the divine Loaf, they shalt be cast aside like frogs at a liquorice picnic, where the teddybears cease to play and thy spirit scream sin the eternal damnation of the tune of the BabBazz, for that is where no sun shall shine, where blood and misery roam the streets, and thee dare to compare us to a ":real" church, Mr Mouse? For what 'tis a real church bar a place for the impersonation of the dangerous BabBazz and a place for the false idols to gather and gallop upon the heath of the evergreen Scotland, yea though thee think thee may have vanquished those of the Loaf by thine false pretences, thee shalt need to apply much more thought to thine infideliast campaign of disrighteousness and anger, for thee shall be doomed, unless the accept the Loaf and repent, for thine time shall come, oh evil one, and the guitar pick of peace wielded by the gatekeeper of the pointed piano shalt smite thee all, and lo I may have the power to save thee from thine sin and misery, I shall not accept thee, nor recommend the Loaf to accept thee, for thine traitorous conduct has been noted, damn the to Streisand and Manilow, in the name of the Loaf I commit the thine judgement and eternal agony, and thee shalt not be mortal and thus relieve the agony and misery of thine punishment for thy guilty conscience, in the name of the Loaf begone.

:lock:

The previous post breaks so many forum rules it's unbelievable.

1.The questioning of a moderators decission in public.
2.Personal attacks.
3.Flaming.
4.Starting/using another thread to carry on a topic a moderator has already deemed out of bounds.
5.Confusing a moderator.

Thread - locked
Key - thrown away.
Preacher - burnt at the stake.

Any more threads we'd like locked today? :mrgreen: