23 politically correct ways to ...

[R.]

... say that somebody is really dumb.

"Not the sharpest knife in the drawer."

"Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching."

"A room temperature IQ."

"Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."

"A gross ignoramus--144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

"A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

"A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

"Bright as Alaska in December."

"One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests."

"Donated his body to science before he was done using it."

"Fell out of the family tree."

"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

"Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

"He's so dense, light bends around him."

"If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate."

"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

"If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

"It's hard to believe that he beat out a million other sperm."

"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

"Takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes."

"Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby."

"Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

:)) :)) :))

[Chris]

The lights are on but it's a 20watt bulb :idea:

Somewhere, a village is being deprieved of its idiot!

An experiment in Artificial Stupidity

Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel

Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel

He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down

An intellect rivaled only by garden tools

Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor

Her sewing machine's out of thread

His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels

His belt doesn't go through all the loops

If she had another brain, it would be lonely

Missing a few buttons on his remote control

Skylight leaks a little

[Asha]

:lmao:

Another one, in dutch it's BKN (buskruit negatief)
In englisch that would be GPN, gunpower negative.


Asha

[R.]

Some more. :))

1. Not the brightest light in the harbor.
2. The light's on but no one's home.
3. Not the brightest bulb in the box.
4. A few screws short of a hardware store.
5. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
6. A few cards short of a deck.
7. A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
8. About as sharp as a marble.
9. Only has one oar in the water.
10. Smart as a bag of rocks.
11. A burger short of a combo meal.
12. The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
13. A few peas short of a casserole.
14. A few keys short of a keyboard.
15. Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.
16. The gates are down and the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
17. As smart as a stick.
18. Fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
19. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
20. Has an IQ of room temperature.
21. Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
22. Not the brightest crayon in the box.
23. One twist short of a slinky.
24. Sharp as a sack of wet mice.
25. More numb than a frozen mukluk.
26. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
27. I ain't sharpest crayon in the box - markie sparkie lover.
28. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed - also from markie sparkie lover.
29. They are depriving some village of its idiot.
30. A few threads short of a sweater.
31. A few sandwiches short of a picnic.
32. Driveway doesn't quite reach the road.
33. The battery is not fully charged.
34. About as sharp as a bowling ball.
35. Dumber than a bag of hammers.
36. A few bricks short of a full load.
37. A few clowns short of a circus.
38. A few beers short of a six-pack.
39. Dumber than a box of hair.
40. A few tacos short of a fiesta platter.
41. All foam no beer.
42. As smart as bait.
43. Chimney's clogged.
44. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
45. Forgot to pay his brain bill.
46. The antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
47. His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
48. Another brain would be lonely.
49. Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
50. No grain in the silo.
51. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
52. Receiver is off the hook.
53. Has a leak in the skylight.
54. Too much yardage between the goal posts.
55. Dumb as a donkey.
56. Not all the soldiers are marching in line.
57. Dumber than paint.
58. Half a bubble off plumb.
59. A few fruit loops shy of a full bowl.
60. Donated his brain to science before he was done with it.
61. A few shades beyond blonde.
62. Has to take turns for the family brain-cell.
63. A few watts short of a light bulb.
64. Dump as a stump.
65. Running on 3 cylinders.
66. A few Bradys short of a bunch.
67. Has the parachute but is missing the ripcord.
68. Would lose a debate with a doorknob.
69. Has an IQ lower than plant life.
70. All telephone, no receiver.
71. One ski short of a snowmobile.
72. Wouldn't know if they were on foot or horseback.
73. The logs are ablaze but the chimney is clogged.
74. Eats soup with a fork.
75. The wheel is spinning but the hamster fell off (or is dead).
76. The cheese slid off the cracker.
77. The engine is running but nobody is behind the wheel.
78. A few fuses short of a full circuit.
79. A tire short of an eighteen wheeler.
80. Doesn't have all the chairs at the table.
81. Dumber than a bag of rocks.
82. A shining example of why you should avoid inbreeding.
83. A few pecans short of a fruitcake.
84. As fruity as a bag of Skittles™
85. Would argue with a signpost.
86. If you gave them a penny for thoughts, you'd get change.
87. Dumb as a salt shaker.
88. Has a mind like a steel trap: rusty and illegal in 37 states.
89. Knitting with only one needle.
90. The result of too much chlorine in the gene pool.
91. Not the brightest bulb in the Chandalier.
92. Not the quickest bunny in the forest.
93. The hard drive is spinning but the OS hasn't been installed.
94. Not exactly running on all thrusters.
95. A few toppings short of a Deluxe Pizza.
96. A few burgers short of a barbecue.
97. A few roos loose in the top paddock.
98. The wind is blowing but nothing is moving.
99. The umbrella is up but there's no rain.
100. A few colors short of a rainbow.
101. As bright as a lamp in Aladdin's cave.
102. The boat doesn't have all the oars in the water.
103. A few boats short of a fleet.
104. A monosynaptic cretin (Don't understand it? 'nuff said)
105. A few noodles short of a chow mein.
106. A few bristles short of a broom.
107. A few snags short of a barbie.
108. Doesn't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt.
109. Hasn't seen the ball since kickoff.
110. The relative IQ of a deck chair.
111. A poster child for birth control.
112. A few players short of a team.
113. Couldn't hit the floor if he fell on it.
114. A few sheep short of a flock.
115. If you stand close enough to them you can hear the sea.
116. Their IQ is lower than their shoe size.
117. A few gunmen short of a posse.

[original sin]

:lmao: This is just what I needed!

If dynamite were brains wouldn't have enough to blow there nose
Sandwich short of a picnic
Lights are on but no ones home
would have a problem sitting in the corner of a round room
sixpence short of a shilling (pre-decimal :oops: )

[Testify]

can i ask why it is mostly he's??

i dont mind cos most of em r true :wink:

just seemed abit sexist, sorry to put a downer on it all, but im am sayin this cos i want to, not just for the hell of it.

[dottie]

and some aussie ones:-
brick short of a load
bright as a two-watt bulb
couple of pies short of a grand final
doesn't know if he's Arthur or Martha
drives uphill with the clutch slipping
few stubbies short of a six pack
going through life with the porch lights on
gone to Gowings
got space to sell between the ears
his/her lift doesn't go to the top floor
if all his brains were dynamite he couldn't blow his hat off
lights are on but nobodys at home
not all his/her dogs are barking
not the full quid
not the full two bob
only fifty cards in the pack
only got one oar in the water
out for lunch
short of numbers in the Upper House
silly as a two-bob watch
silly as a wet hen
snag short of a barbie
so slow he/she couldn't get a job as a speed hump
thick as a brick
thick as the dust on a publics servant's out-tray
three pots short of a shout
tinnie short of a six pack
wouldn't know his a..e from his elbow