View Full Version : Women Rule
original sin
05 Jun 2003, 15:52
What do you call a woman who know where her husband is every night?
A widow
God's little Joke......giving men both a brain and a p***s, but only enough blood supply to operate one at a time
Difference between a man and a good wine.........wine matures
Do men grow up? or do their toys just get more expensive?
Why do men like BMWs? ..................... They can spell it
Why are all dumb blond jokes one liners? So men can understand them.
Whats the difference between a man and E.T.?........ET phoned home.
Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?..................
When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
What do you call a man with 90% of his intelligence gone?..................
Divorced
What is the diference between
a) a toilet
b) the 'g' spot
c) wedding anniversaries
Nothing really -- men seem to miss them all!
The Flying Mouse
05 Jun 2003, 17:13
:twisted: Why do women get married in White?
So they match the rest of the kitchen appliances :lmao:
And just to clear this up,MEN RULE THE WORLD 8) .
But only because the women let us :oops: .
Testify
05 Jun 2003, 18:08
:lol: :lmao:
White of High
05 Jun 2003, 18:29
What is the difference between a clever woman and an E.T.?
E.T. has already been seen! :)
http://www.mlukfc.com/funstuff/everymansdream.jpg
Testify
05 Jun 2003, 19:54
lol!! :lol:
original sin
05 Jun 2003, 20:38
R. :lmao: I will have my revenge......it may take a while......but........ :lmao:
Anyhting you can do:
Why don't women f*rt?
Because their mouth is never shut long enough for the pressure to build up!
However not all women are bad! Some have even made it into the Guinness Book Of Records:
Car Parking
The smallest kerbside space successfully reversed into by a woman was one of 19.36m (63ft 2ins), equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by Mrs. Elizabeth Simpkins, driving an unmodified Vauxhall Nova 'Swing' on 12th October 1993. She started the manoeuvre at 11.15am in Ropergate, Pontefract, and successfully parked within three feet of the pavement 8 hours 14 minutes later.There was slight damage to the bumpers and wings of her own and two adjoining cars, as well as a shop frontage and two lamp posts.
Incorrect Driving
The longest journey completed with the handbrake on was one of 504 km (313 miles) from Stranraer to Holyhead by Dr. Julie Thorn (GB) at the wheel of a Saab 900 on the 2nd April 1987. Dr. Thorn smelled burning two miles into her journey at Aird but pressed on to Holyhead with smoke billowing from the rear wheels. This journey also holds the records for the longest completed journey with the choke fully out and the right indicator flashing.
Shop Dithering
The longest time spent dithering in a shop was 12 days between 21st August and 2nd September 1995 by Mrs. Sandra Wilks (GB) in the Birmingham branch of Dorothy Perkins. Entering the shop on a Saturday morning, Mrs. Wilks could not choose between two near identical dresses which were both in the sale. After one hour, her husband, sitting on a chair by the changing room with his head in his hands, told her to buy both. Mrs. Wilks eventually bought one for 12.99, only to return the next day and exchange it for the other one. To date, she has yet to wear it. Mrs. Wilks also holds the record for window shopping longevity, when, starting September 12th 1995, she stood motionless gazing at a pair of shoes in Clinkard's window in Kidderminster for 3 weeks two days before eventually going home.
Jumble Sale Massacre
The greatest number of old ladies to perish whilst fighting at a jumble sale is 98, at a Methodist Church Hall in Castleford, West Yorkshire on February 12th 1991. When the doors opened at 10.00am, the initial scramble to get in cost 16 lives, a further 25 being killed in a crush at the first table. A seven-way skirmish then broke out over a pinafore dress costing 10p which escalated into a full scale melee resulting in another 18 lives being lost. A pitched battle over a headscarf then ensued and quickly spread throughout the hall, claiming 39 old women. The jumble sale raised 5.28 for local boy scouts.
Talking about Nothing
Mrs. Mary Caterham (GB) and Mrs. Marjorie Steele (GB) sat in a kitchen in Blackburn, Lancs. and talked about nothing whatsoever for four and a half months from 1st May to 7th August 1978, pausing only for coffee, cakes and toilet visits. Throughout the whole time, no information was exchanged and neither woman gained any new knowledge whatsoever. The outdoor record for talking about nothing is held by Mrs. Vera Etherington (GB) and her neighbour Mrs. Dolly Booth (GB) of Ipswich, who between 11th November 1983 and 12th January 1984 chuntered on over their fence in an unenlightening dialogue lasting almost 62 days until Mrs.Booth remembered she'd left the bath running.
Gossiping
On February 18th 1992, Joyce Blatherwick, a close friend of Agnes Banbury popped round for a cup of tea and a chat, during the course of which she told Mrs. Banbury, in the strictest confidence, that she was having an affair with the butcher. After Mrs. Blatherwick left at 2.10pm, Mrs. Banbury immediately began to tell everyone, swearing them all to secrecy. By 2.30pm, she had told 128 people of the news. By 2.50pm it had risen to 372 and by 4.00pm that afternoon, 2774 knew of the affair, including the local Amateur Dramatic Society, several knitting circles,a coachload of American tourists which she flagged down and the butcher's wife. When a tired Mrs. Banbury went to bed at 11.55pm that night, Mrs.Blatherwick's affair was common knowledge to a staggering 75,338 people, enough to fill Wembley Stadium.
Group Toilet Visit
The record for the largest group of women to visit a toilet simultaneously is held by 147 workers at the Department of Social Security, Longbenton. At their annual Christmas celebration at a night club in Newcastle-Upon-Tyne on October 12th 1994, Mrs. Beryl Crabtree got up to go to the toilet and was immediately followed by 146 other members of the party. Moving as a mass, the group entered the toilet at 9.52pm and, after waiting for everyone to finish, emerged 2 hrs 37mins later.
Film Confusion
The greatest length of time a woman has watched a film with her husband without asking a stupid plot-related question was achieved on the 28th October 1990,when Mrs. Ethel Brunswick sat down with her husband to watch 'The Ipcress File'. She watched in silence for a breath-taking 2 mins 40 secs before asking "Is he a goodie or a baddie, then, him in the glasses?", revealing a staggering level of ignorance. This broke her own record set in 1962 when she sat through 2 mins 38 secs of '633 Squadron' before asking "Is this a war film, is it?".
Single Breath Sentence
An Oxfordshire woman today became the first ever to break the thirty minute barrier for talking without drawing breath. Mrs.Mavis Sommers, 48, of Cowley,smashed the previous record of 23 minutes when she excitedly reported an argument she'd had in the butcher's to her neighbour. She ranted on for a staggering 32 minutes and 12 seconds without pausing for air, before going blue and collapsing in a heap on the ground. She was taken to Radcliffe Infirmary in a wheelbarrow but was released later after check-ups. At the peak of her mammoth motormouth marathon, she achieved an unbelievable 680 words per minute, repeating the main points of the story an amazing 114 times whilst her neighbour, Mrs. Dolly Knowles, nodded and tutted. The last third of the sentence was delivered in a barely audible croak, the last two minutes being mouthed only, accompanied by vigorous jesticulations and indignant spasms.
original sin
05 Jun 2003, 22:44
My case continues..................
http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Stage/4209/Jokes/pic_dumbguys.html
and they say blondes are dumb - this is woman power
One day my housework challenged husband decied to wash his sweat shirt, seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It dpends" I replied "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back "University of Okahoma"
A couple lying in bed. The man says "I'm going to make u the happiest woman in the world" the woman says "I'll miss u"
He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said thats a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
Q What do u call an intelligent, good looking sensitive man?
A A rumour
A man and his wife now in their 60's were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that they had been such a devoted couple she would grant them a wish each. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh immediately she had the airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger. Whoosh.... immediately he turned 90.
Gotta love that fairy! :lol:
A Womens Perfect Breakfast
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties Box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl, and her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
Testify
11 Jun 2003, 20:53
ur right nanny dottie!! gota love the fairy!! v good by the way!
ur right nanny dottie!! gota love the fairy!! v good by the way!
Not bad for an old stick Eh!
Testify
11 Jun 2003, 20:57
u not old, silly!! remember my mum thought u looked much younger!! your as young as ya feel!! n u must feel 19 or summin jumpin in bed mit Meat!! hehe :D
Come on you girls - post something - don't let the boys get one over on us oops!
Women think they already know everything, but wait ... training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:
1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After Game
5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too
6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His
7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.
8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking
9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
12. Introduction to Parking
13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat
15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption
17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People
18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
19. PMS: Your Problem . . . Not His
20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To
21. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have
22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice
23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together
24. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both
25. TV Remotes: For Men Only
:devil:
original sin
11 Jun 2003, 23:06
Q: What is the definition of nothing?
A: When a man with an erection walks into a brick wall and injures....... his nose.
Q: What's the difference between government bonds and a typical male?
A: At some points government bonds will mature.
Q: Why are men like trains?
A: They always stop before you get off.
Q: What do you call a man with half a brain?
A: Gifted.
Q: What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
A: His wife is good at picking out clothes.
Q: What is the difference between a man and a catfish?
A: One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
Q: What is the only time a man will think about a candlelight dinner?
A: When the power goes off.
Q: What do men and tile floors have in common?
A: If you lay them well, you can walk on them for years.
Q: Why are gingerbread men the best men of all?
A: They are cute. They are sweet. and if they give you any lip, you can bite their heads off.
Q: What did God say after creating man?
A: I can do better.
Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it?
Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1. No mind.
2. No business.
Two guys were strolling down the street when one guy exclaimed, "how sad - a dead bird.
"The other man looked up and said, "where?"
QUESTION: What do men and pantyhose have in common?
ANSWER: They either cling, run or don't fit right in the crotch!
QUESTION: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
ANSWER: Because all those men already have boyfriends.
If men got pregnant... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive through windows.
*cough cough* :))
15 Reasons Why Beer is Better Than Women
1. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
2. When you go to a bar you can always pick up a beer.
3. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have beer on your breath.
4. You don't have to wine and dine a beer.
5. If you pour a beer just right you'll always get good head.
6. Hangovers go away.
7. When you are finished with a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents.
8. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
9. A beer always goes down easy.
10. You can share a beer with your friends.
11. Beer is always wet.
12. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer.
13. A frigid beer, is a good beer.
14. You can have more than one beer and not feel guilty.
15. You can enjoy a beer all month long.
original sin
12 Jun 2003, 00:26
Why chocolate is better than men
Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft
The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate
With chocolate there's no need to fake it
You can have chocolate at any time of the month
Good chocolate is easy to find
You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle
You are never too young or too old for chocolate
With chocolate size doesn't matter
Reasons why Dogs are Better than Men:
Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public
Dogs miss you when you're gone
Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong
Dogs don't brag about whom they have slept with
Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence
Good looking dogs don't know they're good looking
Dogs understand what means
Dogs think you are a culinary genius
You can force a dog to take a bath
Middle-aged dogs don't abandon you for a younger owner
Reason why a Diet Soda is Better than Men:
When you swallow a diet soda you only get 1 calorie
The first one won't get mad if you need another one tonight
You can dump it when you're done
A diet soda will treat you the same in the morning as the night before
You can pick one up anywhere without people talking about you
You can do one in the car even while driving
The aftertaste is certainly better
You can get a bigger size without changing brands
You never have to lie to a diet soda
You can have a headache and still enjoy it
Top ten reason why a cucumber is better than a man:
1. Cucumbers stay hard for at least a week
2. The average cucmber is at least 8 inches long
3.Cucumbers can stay up all night
4. Cucumbers wont make you sleep in the wet spot
5. You can have as many cucumbers as you can handle
6.you only eat cucumbers when you feel like it
8. A cucumber never wants to get it on when your nails are wet
9. A cucumber never asks "are you ready yet?"
10. A cucumber wont leave you wondering for amonth
Testify
12 Jun 2003, 13:52
:lmao:
very good ladies!
Top ten reason why a cucumber is better than a man:
1. Cucumbers stay hard for at least a week
2. The average cucmber is at least 8 inches long
3.Cucumbers can stay up all night
4. Cucumbers wont make you sleep in the wet spot
5. You can have as many cucumbers as you can handle
6.you only eat cucumbers when you feel like it
8. A cucumber never wants to get it on when your nails are wet
9. A cucumber never asks "are you ready yet?"
10. A cucumber wont leave you wondering for amonth
Oh Kat this is wonderful!! :lmao:
Top ten reason why a cucumber is better than a man:
1. Cucumbers stay hard for at least a week
2. The average cucmber is at least 8 inches long
3.Cucumbers can stay up all night
4. Cucumbers wont make you sleep in the wet spot
5. You can have as many cucumbers as you can handle
6.you only eat cucumbers when you feel like it
8. A cucumber never wants to get it on when your nails are wet
9. A cucumber never asks "are you ready yet?"
10. A cucumber wont leave you wondering for amonth
Oh Kat this is wonderful!! :lmao:
And so bloody true!!!!! :wink:
Rob The Badger
12 Jun 2003, 20:03
. . .
This is very very sad.
Is this why the Suffragettes fought for equal rights?
In my view, the whole idea of the battle of the sexes makes me wretch.
The female phyche is a comletely hypocritaical one.
Women claim to want "caring sensetive men".
When one comes along, you blow him off because he's "too nice."
There are intelligent men.
There are sensitive men.
Every male singer songwiter alive is a sensitive one.
Ever read a poetry book. Half of them are men.
This all stems from basic instinct of course.
So it is my conclusion that women don't like men.
You might say, women hate men.
This is because they have been indocrtinated into believing that there is such a thing as the "Fairytal Price" who is in fact a woman's phyche with male
genetalia tucked away somewhere.
We sexes are two different to each other. Why do we continue to interact?
Why?
And why do women hate men?
Men don't hate women.
Quite the opposite.
We love you.
We're not immature. Women are too mature.
What's the point in going through life with this ridiculous notion of the perfect man.
Men want the perfect woman, but we know she doesn't exist.
I'm sorry, I don't like the whole idea of the battle of the sexes, it makes me wretch.
tukayaway
12 Jun 2003, 21:47
The last post has just won the argument for us lads. MEN ROCK! 8)
The last post has just won the argument for us lads. MEN ROCK! 8)
I don't think so - with men your always between a rock and a hard place neither is very satisfactory :lmao:
tukayaway
12 Jun 2003, 22:03
But honestly, I dont think that there will ever be equal sexes. But I think that blokes are slowly catching up:
You will never see a bloke advertising washing powder.
Or any form of slimming aid.
A bloke will never moan that "She only wants me for sex"
A bloke will never moan that "She is crap between the sheets"
A bloke will never understand the point of owning more than 5 pairs of shoes.
A bloke will never ask "Who's winning?" or "Who's playing?"
THE SCORE IS CLEARLY ON THE SCREEN WITH THE TEAMS AND YES IT IS NORMAL FOR THE TEAMS TO GO THE OTHER WAY AFTER HALF TIME AND I DONT CARE ABOUT THE OTHER TEAM WHEN THEY LOSE AND THE TEAM WITH THE BEST KIT SHOULDNT WIN. WHY DO WOMEN ASK QUESTIONS WHEN YOU ARE TRYING TO WATCH FOOTBALL? (With exception to those who know about football, not the girls trying to be one of the lads.)
Oh by the way, well done England for snatching victory from the jaws of defeat again.
original sin
12 Jun 2003, 22:04
. . .
There are intelligent men.
There are sensitive men.
Every male singer songwiter alive is a sensitive one.
You never heard the Sex Pistols then?
Ever read a poetry book. Half of them are men.
This all stems from basic instinct of course.
And by deduction the other half are Women
We're not immature. Women are too mature.
What's the point in going through life with this ridiculous notion of the perfect man.
Men want the perfect woman, but we know she doesn't exist.
Sorry but is this not the most sexist remark you've heard girls?
I'm sorry, I don't like the whole idea of the battle of the sexes, it makes me wretch.
Makes me laugh especially when its a two way thing which goes to prove that we are actually working together
I have to side with the enemy on this one, One day women will be in charge.
BUT
Only after we have:
Checked the bath for spiders
Changed the lightbulbs
Patrolled the house at 2am in case the noise she heard was real
Changed the oil on the car
Mowed the lawns
Investigated the strange noises in the loft
etc etc etc.
I have to side with the enemy on this one, One day women will be in charge.
BUT
Only after we have:
Checked the bath for spiders
Changed the lightbulbs
Patrolled the house at 2am in case the noise she heard was real
Changed the oil on the car
Mowed the lawns
Investigated the strange noises in the loft
etc etc etc.
I'm the one Chris who does this - never forgot the time a black plastic bag was wriggling in the garage - hubby screamed help - I opened with great care and found a hedgehog inside some :lol:
It has just been pointed out to me by a friend that I shot myslef in the foot with this one. On account of the fact that I am scared shit less of spiders!!!!!!
original sin
12 Jun 2003, 23:33
It has just been pointed out to me by a friend that I shot myslef in the foot with this one. On account of the fact that I am scared [undefined, soft, usually dark coloured, strong smelling stuff that attracts flies] less of spiders!!!!!!
:lmao: :lmao: Can I finally rest my case???
. . .
This is very very sad.
Is this why the Suffragettes fought for equal rights?
In my view, the whole idea of the battle of the sexes makes me wretch.
The female phyche is a comletely hypocritaical one.
Women claim to want "caring sensetive men".
When one comes along, you blow him off because he's "too nice."
There are intelligent men.
There are sensitive men.
Every male singer songwiter alive is a sensitive one.
Ever read a poetry book. Half of them are men.
This all stems from basic instinct of course.
So it is my conclusion that women don't like men.
You might say, women hate men.
This is because they have been indocrtinated into believing that there is such a thing as the "Fairytal Price" who is in fact a woman's phyche with male
genetalia tucked away somewhere.
We sexes are two different to each other. Why do we continue to interact?
Why?
And why do women hate men?
Men don't hate women.
Quite the opposite.
We love you.
We're not immature. Women are too mature.
What's the point in going through life with this ridiculous notion of the perfect man.
Men want the perfect woman, but we know she doesn't exist.
I'm sorry, I don't like the whole idea of the battle of the sexes, it makes me wretch.
Eyeore, please dont think i'm being funny or anything but I never once thought that this was a serious 'I hate men' thread. I thought that this was just a laugh, a bit of friendly banter between friends. And i'm sure that's what nearly everyone else on this board thought - please correct me if i'm wrong.
Heat
xxx
The last post has just won the argument for us lads. MEN ROCK!
It may have done but as usually men take so long to get one innane point across that women give up listening after 5 mins of shite! :P
Testify
13 Jun 2003, 11:34
hehe :lol:
original sin
13 Jun 2003, 12:09
http://www.amazoncastle.com/feminism/cs4.gif
:lol: Me like :lol: :lol: :lol:
http://images.picsearch.com/is?815278945710
Men age better than women: Scientific research has proven that men have a higher level of the sex hormone Androgen which causes men to a have a thicker dermis and subcutis which in tun means that aging has a lesser effect in the earlier stages!!!!!!
original sin
13 Jun 2003, 21:15
Men age better than women: Scientific research has proven that men have a higher level of the sex hormone Androgen which causes men to a have a thicker dermis and subcutis which in tun means that aging has a lesser effect in the earlier stages!!!!!!
actually Chris I think the laypersons interpretation is that men are Thick Skinned! :mrgreen:
Rob The Badger
13 Jun 2003, 21:37
I think I'm turning into the boards hell here. . .
Ok, I didn't mean my thread to be so stupidly serious. I forgot to edit it later (add a just kidding or something) and I'm just in a very bad place relationship -wise at the moment so I'm harbouring a little bit of resentment.
I'm really not that sexist. Though that did seem like a very sexist remark. I'm going to apologise for that now.
But this whole thing irritates me still.
But just for a laugh here we go. . .THE MOST CONTRADICTORY PIECE OF WRITING. . .EVER
Men are weak and feeble.
Women are strong of mind.
Men can fix cars.
Some women can fix cars.
Men invented philosophy.
Women invented gossip.
David Byrne is a man. 'nuff said.
Marge Simpson is a woman. 'nuff said.
Men are right wing.
Women are women.
Men can be walked over like wet blanket.
Women are wet blankets.
P.S.
The Sex Pistols changed the face of music in this country. If it wasn't for them there would be no bands like R.E.M, R.H.C.P, Nirvana or any other great Rock band.(I am aware that these are all American bands.)
AND THE FINAL POINT EVER! TO WIN THE BATTLE!
John Lennon was a man.
He wrote "Imagine".
Yoko Ono is a woman.
She broke up The Beatles.
original sin
13 Jun 2003, 21:52
yeah Eyeore you got it! sorry you're having a problem in your current relationship. I'll share one little thing with you. If you can't laugh.......it's not worth it.
Excerpt: From Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
Imagine that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. One day long ago the Martians, looking through their telescopes, discovered the Venusians. Just glimpsing the Venusians awakened feelings they had never known. They fell in love and quickly invented space travel and flew to Venus.
The Venusians welcomed the Martians with open arms. They had intuitively known that this day would come. Their hearts opened wide to a love they had never felt before.
The love between the Venusians and Martians was magical. They delighted in being together, doing things together, and sharing together. Though from different worlds, they reveled in their differences. They spent months learning about each other, exploring and appreciating their different needs, preferences, and behavior patterns. For years they lived together in love and harmony.
Then they decided to fly to Earth. In the beginning everything was wonderful and beautiful. But the effects of Earth's atmosphere took hold, and one morning everyone woke up with a peculiar kind of amnesia-selective amnesia!
Both the Martians and Venusians forgot that they were from different planets and were supposed to be different. In one morning everything they had learned about their differences was erased from their memory. And since that day men and women have been in conflict
Rob The Badger
14 Jun 2003, 13:25
Amen.
MBrevard
24 Jun 2003, 09:30
The Little Mermaid
Three friends are enjoying a relaxing day of fishing. Out of the blue, they catch a mermaid. She begs to be set free. In return, she promises to grant each man one wish.
One of the men just doesn't believe it, but he says, "O.K., if you can really grant wishes, then double my I.Q."
The mermaid says, "Done!"
Suddenly he starts reciting Shakespeare flawlessly and analyzing it with remarkable insight.
The second man is amazed. He says to the mermaid, "Triple my I.Q."
And the mermaid replies, "Done!"
He begins to spout out the mathematical solutions to problems that have been stumping scientists in various fields for decades.
The third man is so enthralled with the changes in his friends that he says to the mermaid, "Quintuple my I.Q."
The mermaid looks at him. "You know, I normally don't try to change people's minds when they make a wish, but I really wish you would reconsider."
The man replies, "No, I want to increase my I.Q. times five and if you don't do it, I won't set you free."
"Please," says the mermaid, "You don't know what your asking...it'll change your entire view of the universe...won't you ask for something else..a million dollars, anything?"
But no matter what the mermaid said, the man insisted that his I.Q. be increased by five times its usual power.
So the mermaid sighs. "Done!"
And with that, he became a woman!
Sorry! Couldn't resist!! :mrgreen:
Love,
MB
xxx
Testify
24 Jun 2003, 09:38
:lmao: good one
Rob The Badger
24 Jun 2003, 10:18
This again eh?
Oh well.
Here we go. . .
Joe finds a lamp in some place or other.
He rubs it and out pops a magical genie-typee-person.
"Hola!" said the rather Spanish genie.
"Hi" said Joe.
"I'll grant you one wish-o" said the genie.
"Oh", said Joe.
"Then I want you to build a bridge joining Britain and the United States."
The genie was outraged.
"What do you think I am, some kind of engineer, c'mon, something realistic."
"Ok, then I want to understand women in all their complexities, why they do the things they do and why they start threads like this."
The genie thought about this and scratched his belly.
"Hmmm" he said,
"One bridge or two"?
:oops: :cry: :lmao: I'm sorry guys.
MBrevard
25 Jun 2003, 12:49
Ooooh, Eyeore!!! 8O
Okay. Couldn't decide whether to put these here or in the Bumper Sticker category, but I guess here will do:
WOMEN'S BUMPER STICKERS
A woman is like a tea bag...You don't know how strong she is until you put her in hot water!
So many men, so few who can afford me!
Coffee, chocolate, men. Some things are just better rich!
Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen!
Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it!!
Do not start with me. You will NOT win!
All stressed out and no one to choke! (Sorry, Jim & Meat!)
I can be one of those bad things that happens to bad people!
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
Don't upset me! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies!
If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen!!!
Of course, I don't look busy! I did it right the FIRST time!
:mrgreen:
Love,
MB
xxx
original sin
26 Jun 2003, 23:26
Definitions of words by gender...
THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a helmet.
COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.
BUTT (but) n
Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger."
Male: What you slap when someone's scored a touchdown, homerun, or goal. Also good for mooning.
COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.
ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything that can be done while drinking.
FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.
MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.
REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2&1/2 min.
Hearing v's Listening
What a woman says:
Cmon...This place is a mess! You and I need to clean. Your pants are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we don't do laundry now!
What a man hears:
C'MON....blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, NOW!
[/u]
Rob The Badger
26 Jun 2003, 23:36
Good one! :lol:
In the Hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill.
Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. "I'm afraid I am the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces, "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, semi-risky, and you will have to pay for the brain yourselves.
"The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"
The Doctor quickly responded, "$5000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain."
The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.
A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the male brain so much more?"
The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and then to the entire group said, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've been used."
Q: What should you give a man who has everything?
A: A woman to show him how to work it.
Q: What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man?
A: Big Foot has been spotted several times.
Q: What do you say to a man with two black eyes?
A: Nothing, he's already been told twice.
Q: How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
A: Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet.
Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?
A: He eats beans for dinner.
Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
A: They're intended for children, but it's the men who usually end up playing with them.
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: Because they are practicing to be men.
Q: Why do men float better than women?
A: Because they are scum.
Q: What do beer bottles and men have in common?
A: They are both empty from the neck up.
Q: Why are men like laxatives?
A: They irritate the s**t out of you.
Q: Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
A: Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
Q: What's the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don't turn into men when they get drunk!
Why are women so bad at parallel parking? Because men keep telling them
that this...
|<---------------------->|
...is 8 inches.
MBrevard
27 Jun 2003, 10:31
A man took his pregnant wife to the hospital to give birth.
The doctor told them that they'd developed a new machine, and asked if the couple would like to try it out. The machine could take some of the pain of childbirth from the mother and give it to the father to ease the mother's burden.
Well, they thought that was a good idea, and decided to give it a try.
The doctor initially set the machine on 10 percent, telling the man that even 10 percent was probably more pain than he'd ever experienced. But the husband was surprised at how little pain he was feeling, and asked the doctor to raise the level.
The doctor increased it to 20 percent, and when the man still felt fine, he raised it to 50 -- and finally 100 percent.
After it was all over, the man stood up, and stretched a little.
Both he and his wife felt fine, and they shortly left the hospital to take the baby home.
It was then that they found the mailman dead on their doorstep.
:lmao:
Love,
MB
xxx
MBrevard
27 Jun 2003, 14:18
"I'm lonely," Adam told God in the Garden of Eden. "I need to have someone around for company."
"Okay," replied God. "I'll give you the perfect companion. She is beautiful, intelligent and gracious--she'll cook and clean for you and never say a cross word."
"Sounds great," Adam said. "But what's she going to cost?"
"An arm and a leg," answered God.
"That's pretty steep," replied Adam. "What can I get for a rib?"
:mrgreen:
Love,
MB
xxx
http://home.hccnet.nl/vander.boor/poof.jpg
original sin
27 Jun 2003, 20:33
If Men Could Have Babies!!!!
http://www.thehumorarchives.com/attachment_files/manbaby.jpg
Hahaha, Nice one Sin..... :lol: :lol:
Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set-up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so." That night as the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself ........
"I don't think so!!"
MBrevard
28 Jun 2003, 12:18
:lmao:
Thanks, Dottie! Needed that one today!!!
Love,
MB
xxx
Wild_Honey
29 Jun 2003, 02:48
50 GOOD REASONS TO BE A WOMAN
1. Free drinks.
2. Free dinners.
3. Free movies (you get the point).
4. You can hug your friend without wondering if she thinks you're gay.
5. You can hug your friend without wondering if YOU'RE gay.
6. You know The Truth about whether size matters.
7. Speeding ticket? What's that?
8. New lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life.
9. You never had to walk down the hall with your binder strategically positioned in high school.
10. If you have sex with someone and don't call them the next day, you're not the devil.
11. Condoms make no significant difference in your enjoyment of sex.
12. If you have to be home in time for 90210, you can say so, out loud.
13. If you're not making enough money you can blame the glass ceiling.
14. You can sleep your way to the top.
15. You can sue the President for sexual harassment.
16. Nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean sweep.
17. It's possible to live your whole life without ever taking a group shower.
18. No fashion faux pas you make could rival The Speedo.
19. Brad Pitt.
20. You don't have to fart to amuse yourself.
21. If you cheat on your spouse, people assume it's because you're being emotionally neglected.
22. YOU never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.
23. You'll never have to decide where to hide your nose-hair clipper.
24. No one passes out when you take off your shoes.
25. If you think the person you're dating really likes you, you don't have to break up with them.
26. Excitement is only as far away as the nearest beauty-supply store.
27. If you forget to shave, no one has to know.
28. You can congratulate your teammate without ever touching her ass.
29. If you have a zit, you can conceal it.
30. You never have to reach down every so often to make sure your privates are still there.
31. If you're dumb, some people will find it cute.
32. You don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
33. You have the ability to dress yourself.
34. You have an excuse to be a total bitch at least once a month.
35. You can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
36. If you marry someone 20 years younger, you're aware that you look like an idiot.
37. If you're wearing cologne, you don't have to pretend it's aftershave.
38. You'll probably never see someone you know while peeing in an alley.
39. You'll never have to punch a hole through anything with your fist.
40. You can quickly end any fight by crying.
41. Your friends won't think you're weird if you ask whether there's spinach in your teeth.
42. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
43. You've never had a goatee.
44. Gay waiters don't make you feel uncomfortable.
45. You'll never regret piercing your ears.
46. You can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
47. You'll never discover you've been duped by a Wonderbra.
48. You don't have hair on your back.
49. You know which glass was yours by the lipstick mark.
50. You get to hate Kathie Lee in the way only another woman truly can.
Wild_Honey
29 Jun 2003, 02:51
IF MEN RULED THE WORLD....
Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.
Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."
Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she would appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
Birth control would come in ale or lager.
Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of your choice.
The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
"Sorry I'm late, but I got hammered last night" would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.
At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you'd jump out your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car.
It'd be considered harmless fun to gather 30 friends, put on horned helmets, and go pillage a nearby town.
Tanks would be far easier to rent.
Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."
Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!"
Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years. (AMEN!!!)
On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go drinking. Mother's Day, too. St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every month.
Cops would be broadcast live, and you could phone in advice to the pursuing cops. Or to the crooks.
Two words: ALLY MCNAKED.
Regis and Kathie Lee would be chained to a cement mixer and pushed off the Golden Gate Bridge for the most lucrative pay-per-view event in world history.
The victors in any athletic competition would get to kill and eat the losers.
The only show opposite Monday Night Football would be Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle.
It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.
Every man would get four real "Get Out of Jail Free" cards per year.
When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in:
Cop: "You know how fast you were going?"
You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place."
Cop: "Nice one. That's $10 off."
Faucets would run "Hot," "Cold," and "100 proof."
The Statue of Liberty would get a bright red, 40-foot thong.
People would never talk about how fresh they felt.
Daisy Duke shorts would never again go out of style.
Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
Wild_Honey
29 Jun 2003, 03:49
WHY YELLING AT A MAN DOESN’T WORK
What a woman says:
"This place is a mess! C'mon!
You and I need to clean it up!
Your stuff is lying on the floor and
you'll have no clothes to wear if we
don't do laundry right now!"
What a man hears:
blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON
blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES
blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW!
Wild_Honey
29 Jun 2003, 04:07
The Last 10 Things a Man Would Ever Say
10. That Barry Manilow is one cool dude.
9. While I'm up, can I get you a beer?
8. I think big butts are really sexy.
7. Her breasts are just too big.
6. Sometimes I just want to be held.
5. That chick on "Murder, She Wrote" is really hot.
4. Sure, I'd love to wear a condom.
3. We haven't been to the mall for ages. Let's go shopping -- and I can hold your purse!
2. Forget "Monday Night Football," let's watch "Ally McBeal."
1. I think we're lost. We'd better pull over and ask for directions.
Rob The Badger
29 Jun 2003, 19:39
Not to sound pathetic but I've said "Sometimes I just want to be held" on a number of occasions. If only we could all just get along.
original sin
29 Jun 2003, 22:18
awwwwww Eyeore bless!!! you are lovely!!!
Btw whats happened to your avatar all i've seen for a few days is a red x??
Wild_Honey
01 Jul 2003, 14:15
Hey, everything that's posted under this headline it surely not meant to be personally insulting!!! :( :( :(
The Flying Mouse
01 Jul 2003, 18:11
Hey, everything that's posted under this headline it surely not meant to be personally insulting!!! :( :( :(
Have I missed something? :roll:
Wild_Honey
01 Jul 2003, 20:36
Just that it seems to me that some might feel personally offended or something when they read the stuff that's posted on "Women Rule"; I don't know. :(
Mach Dir mal keine Gedanken ... :))
original sin
01 Jul 2003, 21:09
Mach Dir mal keine Gedanken ... :))
8O ..................and?....................
Wild_Honey
02 Jul 2003, 14:11
Hey R., ENGLISH please!!!! :wink: But yes, you're right.
Rob The Badger
03 Jul 2003, 11:16
Hello everyone! Haven't seen me in a while have ya?
Well anyway I covered the topic of this thread being insulting a while back. . . Though I admit I could've been a bit more tactful.
As for my avatar I'm not sure. I'm still looking into it.
Communication Between the Sexes
***Women's English***
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = You'll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something you're really not going to like.
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? (Too late, you're dead)
Nothing = Everything
Everything = My PMS is acting up
Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an asshole
*** Men's English ***
I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm tired = I'm tired
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
May I have this dance? - I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
What's wrong? = I don't see why you're making such a big deal over this
What's wrong?= I guess sex tonight is out of the question
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
I love you = Let's have sex now
I love you, too = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!
Let's talk = I'm trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.
----------------
The Differences
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping.
Men invade another country.
--------------------
TOP 10 FEMALE REJECTION LINES
10. I think of you as a brother.
You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance."
9. There's a slight difference in our ages.
I don't want to do my dad.
8. I'm not attracted to you in "that" way.
You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes on.
7. My life is too complicated right now.
I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.
6. I've got a boyfriend
I prefer my male cat and a half-gallon of Ben and Jerry's.
5. I don't date men where I work.
I wouldn't date you if you were in the same "solar system", much less the same building.
4. It's not you, it's me.
It's you.
3. I'm concentrating on my career.
Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.
2. I'm celibate.
I've sworn off only the men like you.
1. Let's be friends.
I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with. It's that male perspective thing.
TOP 10 MALE REJECTION LINES
10. I think of you as a sister.
You're ugly.
9. There's a slight difference in our ages.
You're ugly.
8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.
You're ugly.
7. My life is too complicated right now.
You're ugly.
6. I've got a girlfriend.
You're ugly.
5. I don't date women where I work.
You're ugly.
4. It's not you, it's me.
You're ugly.
3. I'm concentrating on my career.
You're ugly.
2. I'm celibate.
You're ugly.
1. Let's be friends.
You're sinfully ugly.
---------------------
Guys... You Can't Win
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favouritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're an insensitive ~~~~~~~.
If you thump her, it's wife bashing. If she thumps you, it's self-defence.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. If she asks you, it's a favour.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape you're sexist. If you don't, you're unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. If you don't, you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you're after something. If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements, you're up on yourself. If you don't, you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache, she's tired. If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often, you're oversexed. If you don't, there must be someone else.
Wild_Honey
03 Jul 2003, 12:20
:D
Testify
03 Jul 2003, 12:28
:lmao: hehehehehehehe..............
Wild_Honey
03 Jul 2003, 12:30
Might be a bit odd to post something here AGAINST women, being one myself, but geez, I think it is just for the fun of it! :D
How to Shower Like a Woman
1. Take off clothing and place in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror. Make mental note: Must do more sit-ups.
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,wide loofah, and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
6. Wash hair again to make sure it is clean.
7. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes or until red.
9. Wash entire rest of the body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has all come off.)
11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed.
12. Scream loudly when your husband flushed the toilet and you lose the water pressure.
13. Turn shower off.
14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
15.Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs.
17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
18. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and then sashay to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.
:D
Rob The Badger
03 Jul 2003, 12:42
It's true you know. . .
Maybe that's not bad. Maybe that's just showing how women like to be a little more high maintainence. If you get my meaning.
Only the title of this topic.... well, had to react:
NOT!!!
Testify
13 Jul 2003, 16:37
that really swung it your way!! :P
that really swung it your way!! :P
What do you mean by that??? don't understand you.
Testify
13 Jul 2003, 16:41
thats a good thing, dont worry bout it! :P
im insane, ask anyone.
mmm, allright. trust you.
MBrevard
16 Oct 2003, 09:12
I just received a copy of this from a male friend of mine. I know it's been such a long time since we've discussed this topic, but I just had to share these with y'all.... :roll:
What do YOU think??
Men's Rules:
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now these are the rules from the male side...OUR RULES! Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE...We only have one rule!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!...Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both!!! If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself!
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We DO that!
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I AM in shape. Round is a shape.
Thank you for reading this...and Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education!!
***********
Well, ladies, what do you think?? (I'd ask the guys, but I think they might all agree! :? )
Love,
MB
xxx
Wild_Honey
16 Oct 2003, 13:03
* L O L * :lol: Have to say that I DO agree with some of these points as well. :wink: I mean... there IS truth in it. :mrgreen:
Rob The Badger
21 Oct 2003, 23:24
From another message board I frequent.
I saw a billboard that said "What Women Want," it had a picture of Mel Gibson on it. I guess that about sums it up.
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